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Anyone want to start a Change.org petition with me? (Picture: Metro/Getty) I recently had to watch a couple aggressively snog on the Circle Line at 7:45 am the other day – and it’s not ok. The morning commute is a sacred time. We’re all sleep-deprived, overstimulated by 20 different elbows digging into our backs, and sick to death of trying to convince ourselves that the Pret A Manger Five Berry Bowl is filling enough for breakfast. The last thing any of us wants to see while trying to navigate the sweaty pits of the Tube is a couple smushed up against the doors swapping spit. Now, I’m not totally opposed to all public displays of affection (PDA). But, if you’re getting freaky before 10 am on the London Underground, I personally think that you should have your Oyster card taken away from you. And, as it turns out, the rest of the city agrees with me. I don’t need to see your saliva that early in the morning Being intimate on the Tube is not a new concept. Sharing a drunken kiss or cuddle on the Underground is practically a rite of passage for most Londoners. However, according to commuters here in the big smoke, playing tonsil tennis in the early hours of the morning is a big no-no. And it makes sense – Brits are typically pretty irritable in the morning. Flaunting your love feels self-righteous. ‘It’s too early to make me even more depressed about being poor and single on the way to work – they should keep their happiness to later in the day when I’m less vulnerable,’ one Londoner shared with me. Another noted, ‘I don’t understand how anyone has the energy, I’m still dead to the world at that time, and the thought of someone squeezing my butt or sticking their tongue down my throat makes me wanna scream.’ Social media is also in agreement. One user wrote ‘Lipsing on a packed train during rush hour should warrant booing, sorry,’ while another added ‘the excessive amount of PDA that occurs on the Tube in London needs to be studied… what is it that makes ppl here so horny underground??’ Seriously what is with the pda on the tube atm it’s just not needed— Tor 🦝 (@toremin26) October 16, 2025 Is snogging on the tube unhygienic? Judgement aside, the Tube is a pretty dirty place. The pollution in the London Underground is 15 times worse than at street level. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the 95 different strains of bacteria found on the Tube’s handrails, seats, and walls. Add kissing into the mix, and I legitimately worry about people’s health. A study from Princeton found that when we open our mouths, a film of lubricating saliva forms across our lips. As our lips part, this liquid then begins to break apart, and as air flows from our lungs, minuscule droplets are released into the air. This all happens within a fraction of a second. Some people – dubbed superemitters – can produce more spittle than others, and so likely would pose as a more immediate threat if you happened to find yourself standing next to them during a moment of passion. Now, the research project was specifically looking into saliva in order to try and curb the spread of COVID-19. But still, science is always applicable to other things! The London Underground is known for being particularly germy (Picture: Getty) Also, wind speed is a consideration here. The gusts of compressed air that happen in the tube are often quite intense. Given the fact that, under certain conditions, saliva droplets expelled from the mouth can travel up to six metres, I think we should all be extremely stressed out right now. One commuter, who coincidentally used to work at a dental practice, told me: ‘There are already Corsodyl adverts on the tube to signify AGAINST gum disease, yet in addition to the hum of gum disease down the carriage, I also don’t need to be shown how to pass it on. It’s gross and it’s 7 am.’ Are we all just a bit too cynical? Life coach Jacqueline Hurst wonders if maybe we’ve ‘become so used to protecting ourselves from vulnerability that we forget love is what makes us human.’ In her eyes, snogging on the tube is a brilliant way to romanticise our lives and find ‘meaning in the chaos.’ ‘We need less cynicism and more reminders that connection still exists. If that happens on the Piccadilly line at 8 am, so be it.’ The best tube lines to snog on The Bakerloo line – There’s something sexy about the plumes of dust that gather in the carriage. Plus, a lot of the two-seater compartments remind me of Oliver Bonas ‘Loveseat sofas.’ The Victoria Line – I’ve seen some of the sexiest people in London on the Viccy line. From the studs in Walthamstow to the fitties in Brixton – you can’t go wrong. The Northern Line – Quick, efficient, and often delayed – the Northern Line is sex in a nutshell. No one on the Northern Line cares what you’re doing as long as they make it to Moorgate in time. If you’re totally compelled to snog on public transport – do it here. And maybe, if you catch yourself frantically searching for a bucket to throw up in, you should address exactly what about the early-morning PDA is triggering you. ‘Perhaps it’s discomfort with intimacy, envy or just that classic London ‘don’t make eye contact on the tube’ conditioning, but either way, it’s an opportunity for self-awareness. We’re so used to numbing out, scrolling and rushing that when real emotion shows up in front of us, it can feel confronting. Love can remind us of what we want but don’t have yet, or of a softness we’ve learned to hide,’ Jacqueline told Metro. While I do see Jacqueline’s point, I’d argue that many of us probably romanticised our lives at one point or another – only to quickly realise that re-enacting the ‘Don’t Delete the Kisses’ music video on the Central line is actually more mortifying than it is sexy. We’re not all cynics, though – one Londoner I spoke to did share Jacqueline’s mindset, saying that they weren’t against the idea whatsoever – in fact, they’d even welcome it. That being said, they did note how this kind of morning PDA is typically quite straight-dominant behaviour, as queer people often have to think more about their surroundings before being able to share a snog. Then, of course, there were also a few people I spoke to who were fine with a smooch in the am, but only under very specific circumstances. One friend of mine mused, ‘If we’re both going to Euston and I’m going to be working in Scotland for 2 weeks we can snog goodbye on the Tube before we part ways.’ Why Euston was a necessary element of his fantasy, I’m not sure. This debate isn’t about whether or not couples should be allowed to be affectionate in public, and if I hear one comment about the ‘bitter single girl trope,’ I’ll scream. This is about the fact that the morning commute is for overpriced coffees and orange juice – not for snogging.
