Copyright BuzzFeed
Divorce Lawyers Are Revealing The Pettiest Ways Spouses Tried To Screw Each Other Over — And The Stories Are Absolutely Wild "They spent thousands of dollars in legal fees arguing over custody, visitation, and support arrangements for their dog." Divorce lawyers have seen it all — from petty revenge and emotional chaos to jaw-dropping betrayals straight out of a soap opera. In a viral Reddit thread asking, "What's the most insane, evil, or downright dumb way a spouse has tried to screw over the other?" the responses range from hilarious to horrifying — and sometimes, both at once. From people spending six figures fighting over a single ceramic ashtray (only to smash it in front of their ex) to others going as far as waxing their entire body to dodge a court-mandated drug test, these stories prove one thing: love might fade, but pettiness is eternal. Because when marriages end badly, the courtroom isn't always about justice… sometimes, it's about revenge. 1. "I don't practice law anymore, but back when I worked at a small firm, we represented a woman divorcing her very powerful, well-connected husband. As a show of dominance, he actually bought the building our office was in. Then he started making petty, spiteful changes — moving our parking spots to the farthest corner, scheduling constant 'maintenance' on the elevator (we were on the top floor), and randomly changing cleaning crews and schedules. When our lease happened to expire during the case, he served us an eviction notice right in the middle of the winter holidays. After we moved out, he hung his company's sign where our office used to be." — bryantpark6688 2. "I didn't handle the divorce itself — I handled parts of the aftermath. During the divorce, she went AWOL, living out of a truck and struggling mentally. He gave her five of his nine companies — the ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes. On paper, he had listed her as the bookkeeper. She spent decades trying to escape the IRS because of it." — Flintoid 3. "The first case I ever worked the husband shaved/waxed every single hair off his body in an attempt to avoid a court-mandated drug test." — NegligentNeanderthal 4. "One case I saw involved a couple divorcing amicably. The husband had one child with his wife, and she had another child from a previous marriage. He agreed to pay child support for both kids — even the one who wasn't his, because he cared about her. After the judge approved it, they tried to set up the support account, but it got rejected — you can't have two accounts for the same child. Turns out the wife had been collecting child support from the real father all along and never told him. She was double-dipping, and the other attorney knew about it." — Dikutoy 5. "During my first year of law school, lawyers from different fields came to share real stories from their work. One divorce lawyer told us about a wealthy couple who spent months — and tens of thousands of dollars — fighting over every little thing, right down to a single ceramic ashtray that had belonged to the husband's family. Even after everything else was settled, they kept battling for months and racked up nearly $100,000 in legal fees just over that ashtray. In the end, the wife won it in court, walked out onto the courthouse steps... and smashed it to pieces, leaving them for her ex to find. That was the moment I decided I'd never become a divorce lawyer." — 105degrees_andrising 6. "The wife had already moved out weeks ago. While her husband was away on a business trip, she snuck back into the house, turned on every faucet, plugged all the drains, shut off the furnace, and left. It was -10'C degrees outside. Five days later, he came home to find the place completely destroyed — the water had frozen solid and cracked the foundation." — Slahathar1 7. I had a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave — just move into another bedroom for now — because once he was out, the chances of getting back in were pretty much zero. He texted his wife to say he was staying. She called back and left a voicemail saying that if he didn't move out soon, she'd start taking out her anger on the kids — and she'd make sure they knew it was because 'daddy wouldn't leave.'" — Armanda5 8. "A divorced couple came in because the ex-husband wanted to lower his spousal support. He said his income had dropped, his expenses were high, and his ex-wife refused to work — which sounded reasonable at first. Then the truth came out. His 'assistant,' now his new wife, was suddenly earning four times her old salary — more than he ever made. The 'unpaid renters' living with his ex? Their 18-year-old twins, just out of high school. Meanwhile, he let his stepdaughter and her kids live with him rent-free and even paid for her college, while telling his own kids to pay their own way. He also claimed his ex should get a paid job instead of nannying for free — except the kids she watched were their disabled grandkids. And those '15 dependents' he mentioned? His new wife's extended family in Mexico — all adults he'd never even met. Shockingly, the court didn't lower his payments." — wolfmalfoy 9. "It was already a messy divorce — the ex-husband was a total jerk — but things got worse after the wife started dating someone new who was severely allergic to cats. The ex bought a cat during his time with the kids, even though pets weren't allowed in his apartment. Then he sent the kids — and the cat — back to their mom's house, along with all the cat supplies. The mom was furious. She didn't want a cat, and her boyfriend was extremely allergic. She called us in tears because her kids were begging her to keep their new 'sibling,' and she had the cat locked in the garage. Turns out the ex had told the kids, 'If Mommy really loves you, she'll let you keep the cat — Daddy can't have one at his house.'" — cannabisandcrabs 10. "My dad is a divorce attorney, and once he had clients who couldn't agree on who'd get the Labrador puppies from a new litter they'd just bred — each worth about $1,000. On top of that, they were behind on their legal fees. So, as collateral, my dad brought home a litter of eight wiggly puppies for us to take care of until the couple reached a settlement. Best 'case' he ever brought home. Us kids were in heaven." — Rogue_Kat15 11. "I represented a man on his second marriage. His first wife had died of cancer, and he was devastated. His second wife seemed charming at first — until the divorce revealed who she really was. During the case, my client met a kind woman who later became his fiancée, but she was sadly diagnosed with terminal cancer. Somehow, the ex found out and tried to use it against him in court — claiming he had given both women cancer and even tried to give it to her too. Her own lawyer refused to support the theory, but the judge let her speak. She delivered her wild rant in open court while everyone — her lawyer, the judge, and me — sat there stunned." — loungesinger 12. "A couple divorced after the husband found out his wife was sexting other men. He fell into a deep depression. They didn’t have much — just a lot of debt and two dogs. One was his from before the marriage, and the other was a younger dog they got to keep the first one company. During the divorce, the wife demanded the younger dog since he got to keep his. Wanting peace, he agreed. The next day, she had the dog put down. She didn't want it — she just wanted to hurt him." — fingawkward 13. "The ex-husband was getting remarried, and his ex-wife completely lost it. First, she sent him and his new fiancée a dozen black roses before the wedding. Then, during the ceremony, she actually hired a plane to fly overhead with a banner that read, '(Ex-husband's name) likes it up the butt.' You honestly can't make this stuff up. The sad part is, she clearly wasn't well — she'd been in and out of psychiatric care for years. Hopefully, she's getting the help she needs now." — lottybugatti 14. "Back in the '90s, a woman and her kids went on vacation. When they came home, they discovered that her soon-to-be ex-husband had broken into their house with his lawyer, thrown a party — and horrifyingly, microwaved the kids' kitten. The husband's attorney was disbarred, but that was about the only consequence." — 70sgay 15. "I work in a different area of law, but my coworker once had a client going through a messy divorce where the couple had to split a collection of antique pots. When the husband dropped off the wife's share at our office, he'd taken a dump in every single one. It turned into a whole incident." — PompeiiDomum 16. "The worst case I saw involved a man who suffered brain damage in a motorcycle accident and got a big settlement. His wife then spent years stealing everything — forging his signature, tricking him into signing papers he didn't understand, and even faking tax letters to make him flee the country. When he returned years later, he found everything was in her name — including divorce papers he'd unknowingly signed. He lost it all." — dissociater 17. "One spouse falsely accuses the other of illegal behaviours to get full custody and a restraining order, forcing them out of the home. That creates a 'new normal' judges rarely undo, and it can take years for the accused to clear their name. CPS sometimes even finds 'evidence' that isn't there if the accuser is convincing enough. The long-term damage is awful — kids are brainwashed, grow up resenting the manipulative parent, and often struggle with serious mental health issues. All just to 'win' a divorce." — MAtoCali 18. "A couple was breaking up, and the husband moved out. The next day, the wife came home expecting to find his stuff gone — and it was. But he'd also gone full psycho with Gorilla Glue. He glued the TV remote to the table, the phone to the cradle, the couch cushions to the sofa, and even the vacuum to the carpet. The police had to document everything for a property damage report, and for days she kept calling with updates like, 'He glued my oven mitts to the walls' and 'He glued the sheets together in the linen closet!' I've seen people do awful things in divorces, but that one was downright diabolical." — Maxwyfe 19. "Dumbest divorce I ever saw dragged on for over two years because neither side would give an inch. I was only involved during the last year, but they spent four months arguing over who got the Christmas ornaments. Pro tip: if you ever go through a divorce, just say 'sure, take it.' It's way cheaper than your lawyer's hourly rate." — walnut100 20. "I'm not a lawyer, but my friend who is one recently got a call from a woman desperate for help. She's a stay-at-home mom with six kids under 12. Her husband, a high-earning corporate exec, had an affair and suddenly moved out. He secretly transferred all their money to a new bank, bought himself a luxury condo, and stopped paying the mortgage on their family home — which is now facing foreclosure. He told her he won't file for divorce until she loses the house, then plans to sue for full custody, claiming she can't provide a stable home. My friend said she's seriously tempted to take the case pro bono — just for the satisfaction of watching this guy get torn apart in court." — DogsCatsKids_helpMe 21. "One client actually made a fake prostitution ad for their ex to use as 'proof' they were an unfit parent — apparently without realizing it would also raise questions about why they were browsing prostitution ads during their parenting time." — advocatus_ebrius_est 22. "I'm not usually a divorce lawyer, but I got stuck handling one case. Both sides have been deadlocked for over four months — all over less than a thousand dollars. We could've settled back in 2019, but neither one will back down because they both want that last little 'I won.' Honestly, I can't stand family law. In the end, the only real winners are the lawyers — and even they need a lot of booze to get through it." — hostilecarrot 23. "The most memorable case I saw was the woman took literally everything out of the house. She even ripped out the carpets." — btchsslutsswhore 24. "I'm a legal secretary, and right now we're actually fighting the court to let a man receive his entire alimony in live chickens. The judge asked, 'Can't you just take the money and buy chickens yourself?' But he's absolutely firm and he won't accept cash, only actual chickens." — hypertensivedoe 25. "When I was in law school, one of my professors told us about his time as a family attorney. He handled a bitter divorce where the couple fought over absolutely everything. It got so ugly that, after agreeing to split their three dogs — one each — they decided to have the third dog put down just so neither would have more than the other. That was the moment I promised myself I'd never go into family law." — 7evanUP 26. "I had a client in the UK who separated from his wife but didn't want to divorce — they wanted to keep certain benefits. They still lived in the same house, but basically split it in half: she lived upstairs, he lived downstairs since he had mobility issues. They rarely saw each other, but still managed to hate each other more every year. Four years later, he came to us (I worked in estate planning) to sort out his will. He was obsessed with something called a Severance of Tenancy — it means splitting the ownership of the house into two separate halves, 50/50. We thought it was just estate planning. A few months after it was finalized, his wife called our office, furious. 'He did it!' she yelled. Turns out he took the term literally — while she was away, he cemented over the staircase and even drilled through parts of the house to physically separate the top and bottom floors. Her only way upstairs was a ladder he left by the window… with a note." — CosmicJokers 27. "I do IT work for a family law firm. One day, I was there doing server maintenance — the IT room is right next to the reception area — when I suddenly heard the receptionist scream. A man had walked in, pulled a gun on her, and demanded to see one of the lawyers. He couldn't see or hear me, so I quietly called 911, then called the lawyer's cell. The receptionist was sobbing, telling the guy that the lawyer was in court. He yelled that he'd wait. After a few tense minutes, he told her he wasn't going to hurt her, said 'screw it,' and walked out. I came out to calm her down. The police caught him in the parking lot — he had a rifle and a pistol. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Turned out he'd been falsely accused of child abuse during a divorce. The next time I went back, there was a new receptionist. Can't say I blamed her." — Disposable70 28. "A family friend of mine was a divorce lawyer representing a husband who was having a rough time — no abuse or drama, but the wife was going after almost everything, and he was at his breaking point. On the day of a court hearing, our friend happened to be driving behind the client when the man's truck hit an SUV near the courthouse. It didn't look too bad — the SUV flipped onto its side, and the man jumped out to 'help' the other driver. Since it was right in front of the courthouse, police rushed over immediately. Then our friend noticed something horrifying: the SUV looked exactly like the wife's car. Moments later, cops tackled the man to the ground. Turns out, he hadn't been helping — he was stabbing his wife with a screwdriver. She didn't survive. That was the last divorce case our family friend ever took." — WHYUDODAT 29. "Our client claimed he didn't 'clear out' the marital account after the divorce was filed — which was technically true. He only withdrew $45,000 and left about $3.50 behind." — cannabisandcrabs 30. "One client wanted full custody of her son because she claimed her husband was 'dangerously neglectful.' Her evidence? He served spaghetti instead of turkey for Thanksgiving. I wish I were making that up." — marierosa 31. "The ex-husband bought the shopping centre where his wife had a consignment store, just so he could evict her." — DV2 32. "There was a couple who spent thousands of dollars in legal fees arguing over custody, visitation, and support arrangements — for their dog." — advocatus_ebrius_est 33. "This guy put his wife's (soon to be ex) phone number in a fetish online chat saying she had would send nudes if the guys sent it too. The woman got like 100 dick pics within a week." — e-cecilia Did one of these stories resonate with you? Or maybe you've lived through one yourself? Drop your story in the comments — we're ready for all the tea. And for more fun content, follow BuzzFeed Canada on Instagram and TikTok! Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
