Copyright BuzzFeed
People Are Confessing Their Wildest One-Night Stand Stories, And I'm Actually Mortified "We proceeded to do the deed. But here’s where this Penthouse story goes completely left: he got stuck inside me!" We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their most shocking hookup stories, and I was not prepared for what I read. Here are the most surprising ones: Note: Some submissions come from these Reddit threads. 1. "One time I rimmed a guy so hard I got a nosebleed and got blood all over his butt and my face before I realized what was happening. I saw my reflection in the mirror, looking like a damn walker from The Walking Dead." —u/NeverEndingCoralMaze 2. "I went out with this cute guy, but the date was kind of a loser. He bragged about the size of his 'package'. Once home, I pulled down his pants, and yes, he was truthful! We proceeded to do the deed. But here’s where this Penthouse story goes completely left: he got stuck inside me! Thank heaven that this was in pre-Viagra times because that would have been an embarrassing ER visit. Instead, it was, 'How about those Mets?' We tried to bore each other with small talk so he could go soft and get out of me." —pamelaehn 3. "During my first time ever, I used condoms with spermicide. I found out I was allergic to the spermicide when I went to pee after, and it burned like fire. I had to go to the doctor, and he basically said just drink water for the next few days to flush it out of my system. It hurt to pee for the next three days, but at least I was hydrated." —u/ScreamingChicken 4. "I tried to pop both his balls in my mouth and got stuck for 15 mins." —u/mrzangetsu 5. "I once hooked up with a guy on his couch, and after we were done, he stood up, lost his balance, and fell backward through his glass coffee table, shattering it. He was okay, but I spent about an hour removing glass from his butt cheeks with tweezers. Cute butt though." —secretlydevito 6. "I got shat on when she came during doggy-style. Apparently, she had to go, but was holding it in. When she came, she released everything. She was so embarrassed that she got up, crying, and ran into the only bathroom in her apartment, locking the door. As I like to tell this story, I found out that day that Bounty is indeed the thicker, quicker picker-upper." —u/The_Movie_Man_Plus 7. "I came downstairs the following morning to find her trying to leave with my dog." —u/Civil-Shame-2399 8. "In college years and years ago, I was hooking up with someone who bit my nipple so hard that I still have loss of feeling." —u/VisualMix6979 9. "I hooked up with a woman in the shower. She slipped, fell, and cracked her head on the side of the tub. There was a lot of blood, and she was unconscious. I seriously thought I’d killed her. At the time, I couldn’t drive, so I had to go get one of her roommates to drive us to the hospital, which was wild because the roommate had never met me before. I was just a guy in a towel running door to door in their house. Thankfully, the roommate had CPR or whatever training and knew what to do. She realized it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was, we calmed down, and she made a full recovery." —u/billbapapa 10. "I was getting head. I was drunk, pretty inexperienced, and thought I was about to finish. I applied pressure because, for some reason, it helped push it out. After two seconds, I realized I was peeing, like, right in her open mouth. Neither of us was too happy about the situation." —u/Slartibartyfarti 11. "I heard my junk snap. I was being ridden like a rented pony by a very enthusiastic woman, and I’ll never forget the next words out of her mouth. 'Watch this.' She proceeded to lean back, not gently, but all in one fluid motion. She leaned all the way back so that her shoulder blades were touching the mattress, and my favorite appendage did something it never did before. I heard a noise that could best be described as breaking a twig wrapped in a wet dish towel." —u/ElBrad 12. "I hooked up with a woman in a bar, and we made out on the dance floor and in the car. She took me home, but her mother was there. It was a one-bedroom apartment. Her mom was in the bedroom, and when we sat on the sofa bed, her mom came out in her nightgown and reminded her that she still hadn't paid for her birth control prescription. She told me I reminded her of the sports guy on a local newscast and asked me if I had an older brother. She asked me if I was 'squeamish' about her being in the next room while I had sex with her daughter. I suddenly 'remembered' I had to get home to feed the cat and GTFO." —i_before_a_except_after_j 13. "I went on a date, and I finally got a 'wanna come up to my place?' I had never been to her place, so I was shocked that not only was it a small size studio apartment, but she had eight cats there. So we're doing it while eight cats were staring at us the whole time. When we started doing it doggie style, Mr. Lemmon jumped on her back. The only reason why I know his name is that as he jumped on her back, she said, 'Mr. Lemmon, get off you, naughty boy!'" —shaka_sulu 14. And finally "During some rather vigorous fun times, I felt a rip followed by sharp pain. I pulled out, and there was blood everywhere. Turns out that thrusting too hard can tear apart your foreskin." —u/Shas_Erra Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity. What's your most bizarre one-night stand story? Tell us in the comments or use the anonymous form below:
