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Plus: 🌧️ Halloweekend weather updates It’s Thursday, Boston. 🚚🥐 New type of Storrowing unlocked: A Tatte truck was left in pretty rough shape after a Storrowing on Soldiers Field Road (tbh, they should know better). Thankfully, there were no injuries, but it’s unclear if any pastries were harmed. 👀What’s on tap today: Climate changes comes for Boston Halloweekend weather Meet: The PE guy Up first… LIFESTYLE Witches are taking over TikTok Illustration: Gia Orsino Need your crush to text you back? Hire a witch! We’re not kidding: Self-proclaimed witches are selling their spells on Etsy and TikTok — for wealth, love, weight loss, even revenge — and they’re making BANK among Gen Z and Millennials. Here’s what to know: 🧙 Etsy witches are the sorceresses of the moment. Though witches have been selling spells on Etsy for years, the practice went viral after one popular influencer attributed good weather on her wedding weekend to an Etsy witch. Then other influencers followed suit. Today, #WitchTok has over 9.2 million posts, many of which are young women swearing by its effectiveness. 🔮 But to be clear: This practice isn’t new. From newspaper ads in the 1900s, to online message boards in the 80s, “witches have always employed … emerging digital media to practice their craft,” said BU religion professor Margarita Guillory. In fact, in the U.S., the “mystical services market” (think: astrology, tarot, mediums) is a $2.2 billion industry. ✨ There are plenty of happy customers. After 24-year-old B-Sider Jess Bell discovered WitchTok back in 2020, she bought two “extra strong ‘text me back’ spells” for $6 a pop. “You buy it, you put in the name of the person that you want to text you, and then, allegedly, they’re supposed to,” she said. Despite not speaking to the person in two years, she says it worked. Now, she uses her own manifestations for things like the weather or her love life. 🪄 But there’s also potential for typical *wellness culture* tricks. According to Tee, an Etsy witch who’s been practicing IRL since she was eight-years-old, a lot of online customers come to her after “being misled” (not to mention overcharged) for other lackluster spells or services. But Tee believes that with the right person, who takes the time to get to know you, her work can be just as effective over the phone. ⛪ Young people’s interest in the supernatural isn’t just a meme. It’s looking for a sense of agency or control. In this chaotic moment, they’re “looking for something right now to … make sense for the world,” said Northeastern religion professor Liz Bucar. But with centuries of baggage, strict mandates, and a major “PR problem,” traditional religious institutions aren’t fitting the bill. B-Sider Jordan Doucette, 33, knew from a young age that the church “was not [her] vibe.” But practices like oracle cards “feels like [her] sort of reclaiming a form of religion,” she said. 🙏 And even if it’s woo woo, for some, it’s life-changing. When Bell found herself in a rough patch with her mental health, her spirituality helped her realize “‘OK, this is possible, I can manifest like a better life for myself.” CITY Quick & dirty headlines Image: The Boston Globe. 🏙️ Climate change is coming for Morrissey Boulevard. According to the Globe, by 2050, some sections of the road could be under up to 10 feet of water during severe storms. Why? About one-sixth of Boston (including Morrissey) is built on artificial land, which was planned using high tide measures from the early 1900s that are clearly a little low today (see: this guy kayaking down the road in 2022). But despite the dangers that come with this kind of flooding, petty disputes and high costs have kept the city from making meaningful progress. 🦠 That dirty water just got a *little* cleaner. The toxic algae bloom that’s been present in the Charles River since August is finally gone, per the Boston Public Health Commission. The commission lifted its advisory for part of the river just in the nick of time for the Head of the Charles earlier this month. But now, the whole lower basin (basically the area that runs through Boston) is good to go. While this still certainly doesn’t mean you should dive in, it does mean that contact with the water is no longer considered harmful for you or your fur babies. 🌧️ The scariest thing about this week might be … the weather. Boston can expect some heavy rain and gusty winds from Thursday night through Friday morning. The rain was coming anyway, but it may intensify thanks to Hurricane Melissa, a now Category 2 storm that recently wrought havoc on Jamaica and Cuba. Here in Boston, we’re not exactly on hurricane watch, but the MBTA is prepared to cancel ferry service thanks to rough seas and gusty winds (stay updated here). The good news? We’ll likely see a dry Halloweekend. Keep up with the latest here. 🧥 Got any extra winter clothes? Here’s what to do with them: The Emerald Necklace Conservancy’s annual Winter Clothing Drive is back open for biz, accepting lightly used warm winter clothing (boots, jackets, snowpants, sweaters). Here’s a full list of accepted items. Interested? You can donate the clothes at six specific drop-off sites across Somerville, JP, and the Fenway from now through Nov. 20. Here are all the deets! ONE LAST THING Meet the PE guy Image: Pat Greenhouse/The Boston Globe. Illustration: Gia Orsino. This local TikToker is getting rich … by mocking the rich. Meet: The PE Guy (short for “private equity”), a character invented by former Back Bay fitness instructor Johnny Hilbrant Partridge to mock finance bros using a particular Snapchat filter and a rotating lineup of quarter-zips. Among PE guy’s local material: His “primary res” on Comm. Ave., his “kiddos’ birthday activations,” and rowing in an alumni boat in the Head of the Charles. “We keep a little farm out in Weston,” he said in one video. “Wifey does her private tennis lessons out there. On property, obviously.” But the ultimate irony is that what started as a gag to make fun of finance bros quickly turned into a $500k a year job (yes, you read that right). He’s collabed with Cadillac and Wall Street Prep, he charges up to $400 for 90-second Cameos, and some private equity firms have started reaching out. There’s even talk of a podcast. — Written by Gia Orsino and Emily Schario 💼 Thanks for reading! Does this sound like English to you? Or are we just broke? 🍩 The results are in: In true Boston form, 82% of B-Siders spell it “donut” instead of “doughnut.” One reader said: “We are all victims of the Dunkin mind control virus.” Apparently!
