Copyright standard
Letting children rule the roost at home is putting marriages at risk, according to bestselling childcare author Gina Ford. The 71-year-old British author, best known for her 1999 book The Contented Little Baby Book, made the comments during a rare interview with The Times following a prolonged period of ill health, which left her close to death. The renowned author suffers from chronic thromboembolic pulmonary hypertension, a condition in which blood clots block arteries in the lungs. Known as the Queen of Routine, Ford gained a reputation as a childcare expert for her strict, no-nonsense baby-rearing methods, including timed feeding and nap schedules. While many parents praised her approach as invaluable, her advice on controlled crying sparked controversy. Speaking to The Times this week, she claimed that many parents focus so intensely on making everything perfect for their children that they neglect their own well-being. This, she said, can create stress and tension at home and, in many cases, even destroy “strong marriages.” She added that when both parents work and come home hoping for peaceful family time, behavioural problems in children can instead increase stress and spark disagreements. While Ford acknowledged that the old-fashioned approach of children being seen and not heard was “totally wrong,” she argued that an entirely child-centered approach is also problematic. “A lot of parents are frightened to be firm with their children because they’re frightened that the child will not love them or the child will turn against them,” she told The Times. “But by setting some boundaries and some rules, their children are just so much happier.” Ford’s approach to stress-free family evenings centres on establishing predictable routines and preparing ahead—for example, making sure homework is done before dinner, followed by bath time and a bedtime story. She also emphasises the importance of self-care, encouraging phone-free periods, calm reflection, and letting go of perfectionism to foster a more peaceful and emotionally available home environment. Award-winning actress Kate Winslet previously hailed her techniques, describing her as an “absolute Godsend”, while chef Jamie Oliver said his wife Jools was “a militant Gina Ford and it bloody works”. Ford married at 19 and dreamed of having six children, but when her marriage ended, those hopes were shattered. She ultimately has no children of her own. After working in catering, she became a maternity nurse at 34, working in Edinburgh, London, and abroad. She began writing The Contented Little Baby Book to fund cancer treatment for her dying mother, who encouraged her to continue writing before she passed away. Ford, who now lives in Scotland, rarely discusses her personal life, explaining that she wrote her book to help parents and not to become a celebrity. Ford continues to advise families through email, her app, and over the phone. Although her books have been updated over the years to reflect changing NHS guidance, their core content has remained largely unchanged.
