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I first encountered Brent Bruning, at the always-fascinating Health Optimisation Summit in London a few months ago. As I walked past his booth with a bowl of carb-free pasta, I was struck by a swarm of people speaking in hushed tones. “I don’t know how he does it!” one woman said to a stranger.“It’s crazy!” whispered another to no one in particular. As an English person, I can’t resist a queue, so I joined the line of people waiting to talk to the man in question, while trying to figure out who he was. The literature about him called him a “hand biohacker”, with various slogans announcing that “the power was in my hands!”. I was curious and intrigued — but I was also on a deadline, and after 10 minutes of waiting, gave up. A month later, I emailed him to see if he was interested in chatting. Bruning, by his own admission, is “kind of a fruitcake”, who stumbled upon his profession after a surf trip during which he read two, slightly mismatched books: The Game of early-noughties fame, and a book about twins separated at birth. Despite the fact that a morally questionable book about picking up women and an anthropological study about twins might not blend to create a “eureka moment” for most people, they did for Bruning. According to him, the two books highlighted people’s patterns, especially when looking at separated twins — who often exhibited the same behaviours, shared the same niche preferences, and even married similar people despite living apart and unaware of each other. To Bruning, this all came together to demonstrate our genetic disposition towards certain lifestyle inclinations and personality traits. After a bit more reading, he found himself in the world of hand analysis. Bear with me. Bruning has read over 20,000 palms — including those of Beyoncé, Johnny Depp, a theological advisor to the Pope, one of the richest men in Switzerland and Tony Robbins. He’s also got a few stories — “the reason why Eminem was late in front of 60,000 people is that I was inking up his hands [to read them]”. Read more: Is this London’s swankiest private hospital? Through his extensive hand analysis, he says that he can seen clear patterns shared between people that convey their character types and habits. As Bruning sees it, these patterns are inherited traits that manifest themselves in your hands, demonstrating everything from the profession you’d be best suited to, to your deepest fears; there’s even a specific hand type for ‘sexy women’ (slim fingers, and a pronounced fleshy area at the base of your thumb). Your hand shape, finger thickness, fingerprint patterns, palm lines — all, apparently, express different aspects of your personality and general proclivities. According to Bruning’s hand analysis, I have “fire hands” (shorter fingers compared to my palms, and many lines) which indicate a creative nature with a need for freedom and spontaneity — something I will remind my husband of the next time I feel an urge to paint a perfectly fine room rose pink: “It’s my fire hands darling, I simply can’t control my nature.” It’s not just the features of your hands that provide insights — the state of them, too — can provide intel into your current emotional state. The eczema on my thumb, for example, indicates levels of stress, and would probably clear up if I just calmed down. Other insights into your current psyche include your hands being red (angry), blue (sad), white (in shock) — all things that Bruning works on with his clients when he sees them. Because, Bruning doesn’t just read palms like a party trick to tell you how many husbands you’ll have, but actively works with people to improve their lives through a personalised ten day programme. He says people knock on his door less to have their palms read, and more to change their lives. “Nobody’s interested in their hand, I can tell you that. People are coming to me because they saw a big transformation in somebody, and they look radically younger.” Through Bruning’s work, he aims to enlighten people on their patterns, fears, and behaviours, to redirect them on a path of happiness, fulfillment, and resilience. After the ten days on his course, he says his clients look brighter, lighter, and ten years younger. “I know this sounds crazy,” Bruning tells me, but he’s adamant that there’s enough biological and historical evidence to bolster his analysis and process. Specifically, Bruning emphasises that by liberating ourselves from memories and repeated cycles that don’t serve us, we can “release age” and improve our lives. Read more: seaweed bathing is the new wellness trend about to take over your feed He is self-aware enough to know that this all sounds a bit kooky and he’s not expecting everyone to get on board, but he’s happy to spread the message if it helps people. Ultimately, all I know for certain by the end of our conversation is that I, distressingly and unquestionably, do not have the hands of a sexy woman.
