Copyright Vulture
I often try to explain to people that the only way to be a successful Housewife is to be equal parts humorous, delusional, desperate, and evil. It’s a largely tongue-in-cheek quip, but for the most part, it largely holds true. The only way to successfully maximize your presence on the humiliation ritual we all call Real Housewives is to be singularly convinced that you are destined for fame and success, and be willing to run over anyone to get it. It’s why someone like Karen Huger becomes instantly iconic. The lush formerly known as the Grand Dame never needed a camera to help her spin the fantasy; she was already parading her doddering husband as the “Black Bill Gates” well before we ever came to the scene. It’s also why there’s an increasing correlation between reality television and scamming in recent years — the high-octane combo of desperation and delusion that makes someone ready, willing, or able to throw their cast members under the bus for a successful scene is the same heady mix that will convince someone that they can get away with financial crimes of all kinds for appearances. None of this works if you are a normal person, which is why most of us are watching the chaos from the comfort of our couches. Regular, everyday people don’t repeatedly hang out with people they can’t stand outside of compulsory HOA meetings. Normal people don’t make peace with the person who spreads rumors about their finances and marriage. Once you pass the age of 25 and your brain is fully developed, most of us have spent enough time as independent, autonomous adults to be above high school hazing games of triangulation and isolation. Ultimately, nothing about Housewives is normal, and that is exactly why Angel is struggling this season. For all intents and purposes, Angel seems to be a perfectly nice young mom. She’s a mother of two who is dealing with a changing body. She’s looking for community as she relocates back home and is uncomfortable being away from her family for so long. All of these things about her are very relatable and would find a great home in any of the numerous group chats I have with my girlfriends as we adjust to the ebbs and flows of life as we move into our 30s and 40s. On a show like this, however, it just leaves you with a big target on your back, and when coupled with Angel’s obvious people-pleasing tendencies with friends like Keiarna, the newcomer is left in a world of hurt and just looks like On a show like Potomac, comments about your appearance that trigger a two-day spiral don’t make you look relatable; they make you look unhinged and all over the place. In the real world, many women can relate to a pointed comment on your insecurity leading to emotional turmoil that only a pint of talenti mango sorbetto can fix — my mom can point out some underarm fat in a photo and that will simply ruin my week. But when you are essentially on a set with a shooting schedule, being unable to get out of your feelings and move on just makes you hard to work with. To Gizelle’s credit, she quickly realized that, despite Angel having a playful moment with the group the night after the dinner, Angel was still deeply affected by being ganged up on and did her best to make amends. Angel, however, can’t shake off the stink of feeling like she was humiliated, and it doesn’t help that Keiarna is in her ear like the Grinch, constantly reinforcing how miserable she should feel about all of this. Ultimately, instead of Angel having a true moment of opening up about her insecurities with the women, and bonding and moving on, she is wallowing in her misery, which is just making everyone around her miserable as well. It’s a shame, because Tia has truly shown how to start integrating yourself into the group as you feel your way through the dynamics. She has yet to properly kick up any drama, but when conflict is brought to her, she has managed to smoothly navigate around it. Jassi tried to catch Tia in her crosshairs by saying that she was part of the pile-on against Angel, and Tia expertly navigated around the issue by saying that she did agree that the facetune was excessive, but didn’t think it warranted a dinner discussion. Honestly, none of these women are immune to abusing filters and lighting, so a bit of this is just the pot calling the kettle black, which is what makes Angel’s intense reaction even harder to watch. Angel’s inability to really hold strong under pressure is remarkably stark in contrast to Stacey’s. Ashley, attempting to flip the Chris Samuels gossip, fell flat on her face simply because Stacey refused to give the observation any legs. Yes, she reached out to Chris; yes, she likes him as a friend only. If he’s saying otherwise, that’s none of Stacey’s business; she’s recommitting to her marriage and let the rumors be damned. If Angel could only let the pointed comments roll off her back with the same ease, she would have way more success with this group of women. Unfortunately, Angel’s ultimate crime is being too regular for this show. That’s not the worst thing in the world, but it makes her hard to watch. Unless she manages to turn that around, I fear this may end up being a one-and-done season for her. See you all next week! Cherry Blossoms • I’m trying not to turn the recaps into a weekly check-in on indicators of the Osefos’ culpability, but I must admit watching Wendy pocket-watch Angel’s spending at the thrift shop made me cringe. • I have no idea why they’re building up so much anticipation over what Keiarna may or may not have said to Jassi over the phone. It is impossible to believe that the reveal will be worth all this mystique. • I also don’t care about who Gizelle is dating. Happy that she can finally admit that she has a man, but none of this really matters to me in any real way. • I’ve taken dumps shorter than the length of the pause before Gizelle accepted Wendy’s friendship olive branch, but I am also glad that we are finally past this chapter.
