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Looking over the edge of a tall building, a Duluth firefighter heard a voice that said, "It's just two steps, and it's all over." The pain would be gone, the struggling would be over, and he'd finally end it all. Fortunately, Andy Beck realized he couldn't do that to his family or his fellow firefighters. Instead, he did the hard thing and accepted help from the 23rd Veteran. This article discusses depression and suicidal thoughts. If you or a loved one are struggling, reach out to the 988 help line. Andy Served In The Marine Corps from 2000 to 2004. Andy graduated from high school and joined the Marine Corps during peacetime. He thought it would be a good way to pay for college. Then 9/11 happened, and he was deployed twice. His first deployment was at sea aboard a Navy ship in the Western Pacific Ocean. Marines are always aboard ships, ready to be the first boots on the ground in a conflict. His second deployment was with his artillery unit in the invasion of Iraq. After Marines, Andy Became A Firefighter + Paramedic After the war, Andy came home and started his journey as a firefighter, paramedic, and first responder. Dealing with trauma and emotions was a very similar experience as a first responder as it was when he was in the Marines. "You suck it up, deal with it, and be tough." You don't show weakness. Andy remembers a call where he had to perform CPR on a 16-month-old child. He doesn't remember the child's name or specifics, but he remembers the look on the father's face who handed him the child. Tragically, the child didn't survive. Immediately after that, they restocked the ambulance and were expected to go out on the next call. VA Counseling Wasn't Enough Many veterans go through VA counseling to seek help. For many, it works. For some, it doesn't. Andy went through the motions to say he tried therapy and moved on. He struggled with his relationships with his family. He was drinking heavily, and his marriage was basically over. His kids were afraid of him and scared of how he would react. Just Two Steps + It's Over He was working with the Duluth Fire Department in 2023 when they did a walk-through of Midtown Manor in Lincoln Park. Andy isn't a fan of heights, but at the top of the building, he walked to the edge of the rooftop and looked down. A voice in his head said, "It's just two steps and it will all be over." That moment was a gut check for Andy. He was familiar with 23rd Veteran, an organization that helps veterans get their lives back. He had done a forging class with the 23rd Veteran previously, and had been offered to participate in the 23rd Veteran recon program before that. Andy admits that he came up with every excuse for why he couldn't do the program. "Someone else needs it more than me, I'm fine." This time was different. 23rd Veteran RECON Andy boarded a plane and went with 6 strangers to Southern California for the 23rd Veteran RECON program last February. They spent a week hiking a mountain and backcountry camping. The first night on the trail around the campfire, a simple question was asked. "Why are you here?" Andy says he seized the moment, If this program wasn't going to work, I didn't want it to because I didn't try. I just started talking and everything came out that first night. He created bonds with fellow veterans and found the support that he needed. When participants come back from the trip, it's followed by 13 weeks of group workouts and sessions where they learn about healthy habits, positive brain exercises, and how to handle stress. It saved his marriage and his relationship with his kids. When he got home from the 23rd Veteran RECON, he planned to do some work on his marriage with his wife, and get back into it. Within an hour of him coming home, Andy and his wife were crying, hugging, and connecting. Working through his problems helped him be honest with his wife and family, and handle stress better. He tells a story about how his step-daughter was no longer afraid of him. My daughter backed into the garage door with her car. She hit it hard. She came in an told my she what happened, and I asked her, "Are you ok?" Before 23rd Veteran, she wouldn't have come inside, she would have been in the car crying calling her mom because she would have been afraid to tell me. Instead, I was abled to handle the situation and we went outside to check the damage." Why Did the 23rd VeteranRECON Work For You? I asked Andy what the difference is with the 23rd Veteran RECON program? The big reason it works so well is it takes the traditional therapy out of it. It's so taboo, afraid to go to therapy for veterans and first-responders. It was help that didn't feel clinical. First Responders Welcomed To 23rd Veteran This last year, the 23rd Veteran expanded to help first responders. Andy Beck has helped bring awareness to fellow firefighters, paramedics, and first responders. His fire chief asked Andy about the program, and he shared his story. Now, the fire department will give participants sick leave for their adventure week. They also help with the cost of covering a portion of the shift, so they can join the weekly sessions when they are back. Read More: 23rd Veteran Hosts 2nd Annual Winter Gala "I'll Keep Telling My Story If They Keep Asking" For Andy, sharing his story is about spreading awareness and getting veterans to talk about it. It helped him so much, he wants to be able to help others. Public speaking was new for Andy. He remembers the first time he had to speak at an event, he was physically shaking. He spoke last year at the 23rd Veteran Ruck Life at Mont Du Lac. I remember hearing his "two steps" story in the crowd. It was an honor to get to meet him in person. 23rd Veteran Winter Gala, December 5th
