Copyright Forbes
A new survey by ZeroBounce reveals that workplace email has evolved from a productivity tool into a psychological battleground. One in four people feel anxious or overwhelmed after just 10 unread messages pile up in their inbox, and more than half of American workers (53%) admit they intentionally avoid certain emails to protect their mental health. The culprit? Specific phrases that trigger passive aggression and, in some cases, outright panic. According to the data, certain email phrases erode trust, damage well-being and eventually lead to burnout. An always-on culture compounds the problem. Nearly 40% of workers compulsively check their inbox even when it stresses them out, and a similar number use ChatGPT to fine-tune their tone, revealing how emotionally charged workplace communication has become. To build stronger connections, it’s more important than ever to know which email phrases to avoid. Here are the 10 worst offenders and ideas for more constructive alternatives. 1. "Need This ASAP" Why it backfires: This phrase triggers immediate panic and manufactured urgency. It lacks context about true deadlines and often makes recipients feel like they're constantly putting out fires rather than doing strategic work. Better option: "Can you send this by 3 PM Thursday?" Specific deadlines with actual times: Reduce ambiguity about priorities Respect the recipient's ability to manage their workload Show you've thought through realistic timelines MORE FOR YOU 2. "Can We Chat?" Why it backfires: This vague request creates immediate anxiety. Without context, recipients assume the worst and spend mental energy worrying about what you want to discuss. Better option: "Can we chat about the Q4 budget this week?" Being specific about the topic: Reduces unnecessary stress and speculation Helps the recipient prepare appropriately Shows respect for their time and mental bandwidth 3. "Per My Last Email" Why it backfires: This reads as passive-aggressive and condescending. It implies the recipient failed to read or remember something important, which immediately puts them on the defensive. Better option: "Following up in case my earlier message got buried in your inbox." This approach: Acknowledges the reality of overflowing inboxes Removes blame from the equation Makes it easy for the recipient to re-engage without embarrassment 4. "Action Required" Why it backfires: Commands don't inspire collaboration. This phrase feels transactional and authoritarian, turning colleagues into task executors rather than valued partners. Better option: "Here's what needs attention by Friday" or "Next steps for us to discuss." This language: Invites participation rather than demanding compliance Maintains a collaborative tone Clarifies expectations without sounding bossy 5. "Following Up Again" Why it backfires: The word "again" adds a layer of guilt and frustration. It signals that you're annoyed they haven't responded, which can damage the relationship. Better option: "Wanted to bump this up in your inbox." This phrasing: Acknowledges busy schedules without assigning blame Sounds helpful rather than accusatory Maintains a collaborative tone 6. "Let's Take This Offline" Why it backfires: While intended to move conversations to more appropriate channels, this phrase can sound dismissive or exclusionary, especially when used in group settings. Better option: "Can we schedule a quick call to discuss the details?" This makes the transition: Feel collaborative rather than shut down Clear about next steps Inclusive rather than isolating 7. "Not Sure If You Saw This" Why it backfires: This phrase comes across as passive-aggressive. It implies the recipient is either ignoring you or not paying attention to their inbox. Better option: "Resending in case this got lost in the shuffle." This approach: Assumes good intent on their part Provides an easy way to re-engage Removes any hint of judgment 8. "Please Advise" Why it backfires: This phrase is cold and formal, often coming across as curt or demanding. It can make recipients feel put on the spot without adequate context. Better option: "What's your recommendation here?" or "How would you approach this?" These questions: Invite expertise while maintaining warmth Show respect for the recipient's knowledge Create space for collaborative problem-solving 9. "Friendly Reminder" Why it backfires: There's nothing friendly about this phrase. It's typically used when someone has failed to respond, making it feel condescending and passive-aggressive. Better option: "Quick reminder about the Friday deadline." This version: Gets straight to the point Provides helpful context Skips the false friendliness 10. "Circling Back" Why it backfires: This corporate cliché feels transactional and hollow. It dehumanizes professional relationships into a series of mechanical follow-up loops. Better option: "Following up on our conversation from last Tuesday." Referencing specific context: Makes the message feel personal rather than automated Shows you remember the details of your interaction Demonstrates genuine engagement How Leaders Can Model Better Email Habits If you're in a position of influence, your email habits shape workplace culture more than you realize. Here's how to lead by example: Demonstrate Clarity and Empathy Before hitting send, ask yourself if the recipient will understand exactly what you need and by when. Your team takes cues from how you write, so: Avoid phrases that sound like commands or create unnecessary urgency Make your communication a reflection of the culture you want to build Choose words that invite collaboration rather than demand compliance Respect Boundaries Employees find after-hours emails stressful because they signal constant availability expectations. To protect your team's well-being: Avoid sending messages outside work hours unless truly urgent Use scheduled send features to deliver emails during business hours Demonstrate that you value work-life boundaries through your actions Normalize Tone-Checking Tools Workers already use ChatGPT to adjust tone. Rather than discouraging this practice: Encourage the use of AI-assisted writing to catch phrases that might be misinterpreted Focus on authenticity over perfection Remove the stigma around asking for help with communication Remember that psychological safety starts with how you write. When you take time to craft clear, respectful messages, you signal that people matter beyond their output. The Solution to Email Overload If you're feeling the strain of email overload, you're not alone. The solution starts with awareness. Notice which phrases make you cringe when you receive them, then eliminate them from your own messages. Small changes in how we write can reduce anxiety, build trust and make work feel less like a minefield. In a world where we spend six or more hours a week managing our inbox, every message that doesn't trigger anxiety is a small victory worth celebrating. Enjoyed this article? I share weekly cheat sheets, tools and inspiration to help professionals escape burnout, make confident career changes and design work that feels purposeful.
