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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don't know where to turn, look no further. Every day, the Daily Star's very own agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn't slowing down. If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published. My girl is a filthy liar. When we started dating last February, she said that she was from a poor family, left education at 16 and worked as an exotic dancer in America. All lies. Her mum and dad live in a normal house in suburbia, she went to university and graduated with a BA and she’s never been to America in her life. I only found out the truth when, completely by chance, I met her sister (who I didn’t know existed) at an international conference in Belgium and we realised we had my girl in common. Over the course of the weekend the sister also told me that my girl was never in hiding from a major crime family and was never on the run from the police for fraud – two other fibs my girl told me about herself. Oh, and she was never approached by spooks to join MI5 or MI6 either. Now I find myself looking at my girl and asking: “Who are you?” She claims that she only exaggerated her past in order to make herself look and sound more interesting but who comes up with that kind of guff? It wouldn’t cross my mind to fib. At the moment she’s begging me for a fresh start. She says I’m to forget all the things she said in the past and propose to her. She says that if she has something big to do i.e. organise a wedding and a honeymoon, then she’ll be focused and won’t feel the need to exaggerate. But can I really go into a marriage with someone who doesn’t know right from wrong and seems to live in a fairy dairy world of her own. She’s a sexy woman who says she loves me but is that a lie too. Is she with me for the right reasons or simply because I have a flat and a car and a decent salary? JANE SAYS: You can’t be bounced into a wedding simply to give your girlfriend something to do that will occupy her mind. You’ve only been together since February and hardly know each other. I get the impression that you are intrigued and exasperated her by her in equal measure. You can’t work out why she feels the need to tell such enormous whoppers but is this relationship healthy or sustainable? Being around her must be like dealing with a toddler with an overactive imagination. Isn’t it tiring having to question almost everything she says for accuracy and viability? Tell her today that everything needs to change if you’re to stay together. Can she promise to change her ways and not make stuff up in future? Do you need to set boundaries? Is there a deeply rooted underlying mental health condition that she needs to consult a health professional about? Did she suffer trauma as a child? Was she bullied, belittled or disbelieved? Is she anxious or frightened? Does she suffer from low self-esteem? The fact is that some people in this world are compulsive liars – we read about them all the time. Some individuals simply can’t walk straight. How many second chances are you willing to give and how much are you prepared to put up with? My boyfriend has started painting ghastly pictures in his spare time. He’s turned our garden shed into his ‘art studio’ and is knocking out racy daubings of half naked women by the dozen. They are truly horrible – really brash and naff and poorly executed. He’s inordinately proud of himself. He keeps dragging pals down there and suggesting they purchase these abominations. This is getting awkward. Treasured friends are being press ganged into coughing up. He's even suggested I get my book club, school mums and Pilates mates round too. I can’t see us having any friends left by Christmas . Help. JANE SAYS: Your guy is clearly enjoying his time and believes he has talent but embarrassing mates into making purchases cannot be the way forward. No one likes to feel obliged to pay out for something just to please a friend. You need to get tough. Ask him for that all-important chat and make it clear that he is in danger of driving everyone away. Just because he is enjoying his art and thinks that he’s talented but doesn’t mean that everyone else has to join in and agree. Suggest he calms down, stops churning out quite so many pics and concentrates on honing his craft. Then, any subsequent pieces can be sold (or not) on the open market - on-line, at crafts fairs etc - in a more traditional and fair way. Good luck… My siblings (two sisters and a brother) have already started asking where we are going on holiday next year. They expect me to book, and pay for them, their partners and four assorted children. Yes, I do have a well paid job and income from two rental properties but I’m sick of splashing out for all flights, accommodation, food and drink. Back in June I took everyone out to Menorca for my 40 th birthday but never received a single ‘thank you’. In the past there have been trips to Portugal and Greece too – and now I’m done. JANE SAYS: Get in now and suggest that it’s someone else’s turn to organise the next trip. Make it clear that you’re fully prepared to pay for your own flight, food etc but you won’t be able to treat everyone again. Last June was a one off, a special treat for your birthday. Certainly, don’t feel guilty about letting anyone down because it’s not your job to please all of the gang all of the time. If a foreign jaunt is too steep for certain pockets, then what options are there for the family closer to home? Work together in finding a solution that doesn’t leave you feeling put upon and taken advantage of. My mate blows hot and cold. One minute she’s here all the time organising nights out and staying over. Then I don’t hear from her for weeks. Even when I track her down, she sounds impatient with me and disinterested in what I’m doing. She’s currently maintaining radio silence, and I don’t know where I stand. JANE SAYS: You can’t waste your time waiting for a mate who may, or may not, deign to call you. You have a life to get on with. She sounds like a selfish user to me. I wonder if you’re her last resort whenever others are unavailable? Make your own plans and tell her that you’re busy the next time she pops up. I can’t believe that she has any real respect for you.
