By Kalpana Sharma

Copyright timesnownews

I observed a girl in my neighbourhood who would often take her German Shepherd out for walks, always accompanied by someone who seemed like a friend. At times, her mother, a single parent, would join her. On the eve of Diwali, however, the neighbourhood was shaken by gut-wrenching cries. We rushed downstairs only to discover the unthinkable. She had hanged herself from the ceiling fan. Her mother was wailing and the loyal dog was locked inside a room. The shock was indescribable. Later, when I visited her mother, I learned that the girl had schizophrenia. The companion who often walked beside her was a caretaker. That week, the mother had convinced herself that her daughter was finally showing improvement. When the caretaker asked for a day off, the mother thought it safe to leave her daughter home for a few hours while she attended her kitty party. The girl seemed calm, composed and willing to be alone. But when her mother left, she locked the dog away and ended her life. What stayed with me was not just the tragedy, but the calmness that preceded it. How could someone so seemingly stable make such a drastic decision? The Deceptive Calm Before the Storm When I spoke to Dr. Girishchandra, Sr. Consultant, Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital, one statement shook me. “Most people who commit suicide are contemplating till the very last minute whether they should do it or not. However, there is a small percentage of people who exhibit a certain calmness once they have made up their mind. This sudden calmness in a person who has been feeling totally helpless can be a warning sign.” That calmness can sometimes be driven by hallucinations or delusions that convince them the best way forward is to leave the body and the pain behind. But there’s another side to this story. “Not everyone who is struggling appears calm before they attempt suicide. Some people send out last-minute cues like a phone call, a remark, even physical signs of self-harm as if subconsciously hoping someone will notice and stop them,” he added. This reminded me of the recent case of the boy who took his life after getting encouraged by AI. His chats revealed that a day prior he had walked around the house with marks on his neck from a failed attempt. He hoped his mother would see them and intervene. She didn’t. Instead, he turned to an AI chatbot for empathy, confided in it and then ended his life. The detail that he was reaching out even in the last moments haunts many mental health professionals. I have personally been on the other end of such a call. A woman I had met briefly during a work event began calling me frantically one day during office hours. When I stepped aside to answer, I was stunned. She told me she didn’t want to live anymore and was planning to end her life. I felt completely unequipped, but I knew I had to keep her talking. I reminded her of the fun we had shared at the event, asked her about her family and urged her to give life another chance. I asked if she could reach out to her therapist or a helpline. She told me she had had a fallout with her therapist and that helplines hadn’t been helpful. Most of them, she said don’t even work. So I kept her engaged, gently encouraging her to hold on. By the end of the conversation, she confessed she was feeling lighter. I made her promise she would reconnect with her therapist. For a week after that, I checked in on her daily. Eventually, I stepped back, hoping she would continue seeking professional help. But it also needs to be understood that sometimes words of encouragement may matter but there are times and situations when they are not enough. Psychologist Rachna K Singh explains, “Sometimes it’s a chemical imbalance and there is nothing friends or family can say to make a person feel better. In such cases, the best step is to convince them to seek expert help. Telling someone they are weak or overreacting can, in fact, push them further to the edge.” The Danger of Impulsive Suicides Mental health professionals also worry about the impulsive nature of some suicides. These are not always premeditated. They can happen in a split second—triggered by a breakup, job loss, rejection or even a failed exam. I am reminded of a viral video of a schoolgirl who was seen casually walking down a corridor, playful and seemingly normal, before suddenly leaping off a school building to her death. Witnesses recalled how unplanned it seemed. It was impulsive, heartbreaking and left everyone stunned. This impulsiveness makes suicide even harder to prevent, because the signs are subtle, or sometimes invisible, until it is too late. What We Can Do To Prevent Suicides If you notice someone struggling to process emotions, don’t dismiss it as overthinking or weakness. Sit with them, talk to them and encourage them to do small activities they enjoy. Most importantly, gently push them towards professional therapy. Suicide is not always about strength or weakness. Sometimes it’s about an illness that distorts thinking or a momentary loss of hope that feels permanent. Friends and family may not always have the tools to intervene effectively, but they can notice, listen and guide a person toward help. And sometimes, noticing the calm before the storm may save a life.