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Working in TV broke my heart and left me in a loop of self-pity – now I’m so jealous of my friends’ lives, admits nineties TV presenter Sarah Cawood in emotional This Morning interview

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By LUCY MURGATROYD, TV REPORTER
Published:12:55 BST, 16 September 2025 |Updated:15:46 BST, 16 September 2025

Nineties TV presenter Sarah Cawood opened up about how working in TV broke her heart and left her in a loop of self-pity while on Tuesday’s episode of This Morning.
The 53-year-old took to Instagram earlier this month and shared an emotional video about her ‘feeling lost’ in regards to her career after comparing herself to others online.
Sarah is best known for hosting the likes of Top Of The Pops, Comic Relief Does Fame Academy and The Girlie Show, which were on our screens between the 90s and early 2000s, but her jobs started to ‘fall away in the mid noughties’.
The star took to the iconic sofa to chat to hosts Cat Deeley, 48, and Ben Shephard, 50, explaining to the pair: ‘It was really hard to deal with. I always say, the fading away of my TV career was worse than any heartbreak I ever had from any boy.
‘Telly broke my heart way worse.
‘But I have had time with my children, I am super grateful for that. You find other stuff to do. You find your way through.’

Nineties TV presenter Sarah Cawood (pictured) opened up about how working in TV broke her heart and left her in a loop of self-pity while on Tuesday’s episode of the ITV show

The 53-year-old took to Instagram earlier this month and shared an emotional video about her ‘feeling lost’ in regards to her career after comparing herself to others online

Sarah is best known for hosting the likes of Top Of The Pops, Comic Relief Does Fame Academy and The Girlie Show, which were on our screens between the 90s and early 2000s, but her jobs started to ‘fall away in the mid noughties’

Cat pointed out that many women will have ‘identified’ with the post because of the balance struggle that women have to be the best mum, as well as ‘feeding your own soul’.
Sarah explained: ‘So my youngest, she went to secondary school a couple of weeks ago, that was a bit of a trigger, I just looked around and I was like, ‘they don’t need me as much now, what do I do?”
She continued: ‘I would like to make more money, we’re a freelance household, when my husband Andy has a gap between contracts, there is a real financial pressure on him that I would like to take off.
‘But do I have the time in between the washing, the laundry, the school run…
‘It’s just a bit of a crossroads, but I’ll find my way.
Ben said that what was ‘compelling’ about her post was that she was clear about how proud she is of her friends, and that ‘jealousy’ as a word has ‘so much attached to it’.
Sarah explained: ‘Envious would be a better word, actually. But as you can see, I was a bit upset.
‘I would never want anyone who is successful not to have that.

Talking about the support she has received, Sarah said: ‘The hardest thing, it was bitter sweet, I felt I wasn’t alone, there are so many women feel the same way. But that made me really sad…’

Sarah Cawood, 53, reveals kind offer from Zoe Ball after she tearfully admitted to feeling lost
‘It would just be nice to join the club a little bit…
‘It’s funny isn’t it, jealousy and envy, they are almost physical emotions. Almost a physicality like when you get your heart broken – and you know it’s wrong.
‘You know you should be sitting there going “Yes but I’m healthy, I’m happy, I have a roof over my head. There are terrible things happening in the world”.
‘But I still feel really sad, then you feel guilty, then that makes it worse.
‘Then you’re locked in a loop of self pity.’
Talking about the support she has received, Sarah said: ‘The hardest thing, it was bitter sweet, I felt I wasn’t alone, there are so many women feel the same way. But that made me really sad.
‘I don’t want other midlife women to be sitting on the end of their bed going “What happened?”
‘But similarly the amount of DMs and voice notes I’ve exchanged with women, there was a couple who left really sad messages, on the way home I’m going to send them a voice note. I don’t want anybody to feel like that.’

Sarah told her followers: ‘Can I be really honest? For a minute? I’m 53, I’m healthy and have a lovely family… ‘But I feel lost…’
Before posting she did have a worry about if she should have even shared the video.
Sarah said: ‘I actually doubted whether i should post, but one of my USPs on Instagram is to be authentic.
‘I’ve got to show them when it’s rubbish as well as when it’s good.
‘Anybody feeling that, slide into a DM, slide into mine and have a conversation. everybody made me feel so much better.’
Earlier this month the telly favourite shared a clip which saw her looking visibly upset sitting on the edge of her bed.
She asked her followers: ‘Can I be really honest? For a minute? I’m 53, I’m healthy and have a lovely family…
‘But I feel lost…’
Sarah captioned the post: ‘THIS IS NOT A PITY POST, it’s just an honest one.
I made the mistake of doom-scrolling this morning and all my former peers are just SLAYING it… it’s hard to explain, but I just feel really…left out. It’s so silly to say that at 53, I feel jealous.
‘All my former TV buddies, plus new friends I’ve met here and they all seem to be at events with each other, working together and THRIVING. And here’s the thing: I couldn’t be more pleased or proud of those women but I miss them… and I miss being one of them.
‘My days are spent tidying, cleaning and managing the lives of my Smalls and that’s OK, but now they’re bigger, I think I want more…certainly I could do with more money! (Especially after all the recent bloody vet bills).
‘I just feel so redundant. I want to build my own brand; maybe write a book using my old diaries, but I simply don’t have time: unless my time is spent on income-producing activities, I can’t do them: I’d work 24 hours a day and see no one.
‘I feel like I’m peeking over the parapet, watching everyone else thriving while I’m over here, just surviving.
‘I don’t even know why I’m posting this, but maybe if you’re feeling the same way, it will make you feel better to know you’re not alone?
‘And I HAD my time, and it was GREAT. So maybe I should just shut up and be grateful (I AM grateful I really am! My life is so lovely and I’m so lucky, I just want a little bit more: is that greedy?)
‘Maybe the Universe has a different plan for me.
‘Right, I’m off to find my positive pants.’
This Morning airs weekdays from 10am on ITV1 and is available to stream on ITVX.
Cat DeeleyInstagramITVBen Shephard

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Working in TV broke my heart and left me in a loop of self-pity – now I’m so jealous of my friends’ lives, admits nineties TV presenter Sarah Cawood in emotional This Morning interview

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