Copyright BuzzFeed
Women Who Fell Out Of Love With Their Partners Are Sharing What The Final Nail In The Coffin Was For Them I keep hearing about the "male loneliness epidemic," but it seems like a lot of that "loneliness" could be avoided by men practicing kindness, communication, and accountability. Reddit user Sebas205 recently asked, "Women who fell out of love with their partners, what was the main cause?" Here's what women revealed: 1. "Becoming their mother is just really, really not attractive." —tawny-she-wolf "And they act so shocked when you don't want to have sex with them after you've just spent an entire day being their mother. Yeah, no. He never once cooked a meal for himself or for me, wouldn't do groceries, wouldn't clean unless I begged him to, would never remember to pay his bills or go to appointments, would forget about his parents' birthdays unless I reminded him about them, etc." —jessicaaalz "'We have different standards of cleanliness.' 'You should have told me, and I'd do it.' 'I was going to do it.' If a man is uttering any of these statements on a regular basis, I don't want to hear about how their partner doesn't want to have sex with them." —yeah_another 2. "We had some tough years where we both felt emotionally and physically neglected, but finally decided to make things right and get back to our best selves. I spent most of last year going above and beyond, stepping out of my comfort zone, in an effort to better myself and our relationship. I thought he was, too. Found out in November that he had been having an affair that began immediately after we started to make things better between us. He spent our whole 'second chance' hooking up with someone else and lying to me so convincingly. He was the love of my life for 17 years, and I'll never see him the same way ever again." —AdrienneBeaky 3. "His alcoholism. He pissed his pants in public twice because he was so drunk, and then tried to say it was normal when I tried to talk to him about it later. It was as if a light had been switched off. I never looked at him the same again." —zaatar_sprinkles 4. "He got into red pill content during our marriage and started spewing ideologies that made me feel like he viewed me and women in general as less than. I started to feel pretty bad about myself (i.e., a woman's most important role is that of a wife and mother, women lose value as they age, etc.) Just absolute crap." —lordhenryspawn 5. "We were a great match when I was 24 and he was a stunted 36-year-old. But then I grew as a person and fixed a lot of my personal problems, and he never did. Also, I definitely became his mother; he dropped the ball when I had a life-changing illness, and he stopped fucking me." —dough_eating_squid 6. "He was almost never home, and when he was, he was glued to his PlayStation." —Evening_Analyst2385 "All he cared about was video games." —Lbooch24 7. "He saw me as a personal project rather than a partner. It led to resentment, and my body started rejecting him before my mind even realized I had fallen out of love with him. I didn't want to be near him or sleep with him, and I couldn't figure out why. We both honestly thought I had suddenly become asexual, lmao, but no, it was built-up resentment." —PuzzleheadedEqual883 8. "He constantly invalidated my thoughts and feelings. When I'd tell him I was upset about something he did (or didn't do), he never apologized or changed his behavior. He just told me why I was wrong to feel that way. Eventually, I'd stop talking and he'd think he won the argument. But he lost every last one of them, because each one strengthened my resolve to leave. It took a while to be financially able to do so, but he was shocked when I ended it. He spiraled into a deep depression after I moved out. Now I get even the faintest hint of a guy dismissing or invalidating what I say, and he's gone in a flash." —bananapineapplesauce 9. "Refusing to remove his piss-filled bottles from our bedroom. He gamed all night and didn't want to use the toilet since he would have to step away from his game." —redeyepenguin 10. "He gambled close to $150k away. All my love, trust, and respect for him were instantly gone when I found out." —Angelz5 11. "Not feeling emotionally safe with him. He would get really defensive and dismiss my needs, and eventually, I stopped trying to express them, which led to resentment." —batty48 12. "The guy I loved changed drastically over our one-year relationship. At the start of our relationship, we both wanted kids, dogs, our own home, and travel. Over the course of a year, he gradually removed each of the listed things from our relationship without even asking if I was okay with it. I was okay with it. I compromised because I was in love. I agreed. Then one day, he told me that he wanted to break up because of our sexual incompatibility. I was completely blindsided but understood." "A few weeks later, when I was packing my stuff and moving out, he wanted to patch things back up with me and begged me to stay. I refused because, for the first time, I felt like I could breathe and not feel suffocated. We are very different people, and as an empath, I understand why he no longer wanted the life we dreamed of at the start. But I also understood that just because he didn't want that life didn't mean I didn't want it either. Now that I am free, I get to build my life without him in the way I had always dreamed of." —icarus_and_the_sun_ 13. "He picked porn over me for years." —SunnyMama121 14. "Unwillingness to compromise. Nearly everything is starting to feel like it is for my own partner's comfort and well-being, instead of my own." —Green-Krush 15. "I grew, and he didn't. He was in the same place mentally, emotionally, financially, and just in life in general, while I was learning who I was and what I wanted to do in life. Every time I grew more, it upset him. He wanted to hold me back and keep me in the same place I was when he found me." —SweetLemonLollipop 16. "He couldn't be bothered to answer me the VAST majority of the times I'd speak to him, or he would interrupt and change the subject when I'd be telling him something I was excited about. It crushed me. I felt like a plant tossed in a closet without air, light, and water, and commanded to thrive. Yes, I addressed these specific issues with him many times for literal years. Begged for counseling countless times. Yet he was all shocked/betrayed/blindsided when I finally filed for divorce." —Impossible_Balance11 17. "It was a combination of lack of trust, capability, and broken communication. Eventually, I started looking at the reality of the situation instead of the idea or the future of it. Stepping back with awareness revealed a major red flag. He was only special because that's what I had made him in my head. The reality was lackluster at best." —Ashhole890 18. "I realized that I was the only adult in the relationship and the only person I could count on. He was using all the resources for himself (time, money, love, labor) and didn't care that he left me without. I couldn't depend on him because he quit his job twice in three years, without notice or talking to me about it, because he was mad or overwhelmed, and he spent money like a drunken sailor on shore leave. Not only did I have to provide resources, but I was the manager of his emotions, and he was mad about it. The sex sucked because, surprise, he was selfish and it was all about him." "I felt a constant high level of anxiety because I never knew what disaster was coming next, and the person who should have had my back was the one creating the disaster in the first place. When I tried to communicate with him, he'd lie or deflect. Everything that went wrong was because I sucked (according to him). Every day, I thought about how much easier and more peaceful my life was before him. The final straw was finding out he was cheating on me, and of course, that was 'my fault' because I was too busy or too tired for him." —MysteryMeat101 19. "I think I just realized if he couldn't verbalize that he liked me or loved me, it didn't matter how he treated me. It just wasn't and wouldn't be right. I still care a lot about him and hope he's well, and occasionally, I think about him. But I think I just wore myself down asking and waiting for what I needed. It's nice to hear nice things, and it's nice to feel calm and secure in a relationship. I realized I probably shouldn't feel as sad and/or anxious with someone. Years later, I'm almost embarrassed that I even allowed it to go on for as long as it did. In my opinion, though, falling out of love and being able to let go is a luxury. It's harder when you stay stuck in love with someone after it ends. And that probably happens just as much, if not more than, falling out of love." —moongazer94 20. "Being the full-time caregiver, problem solver, breadwinner, and maid killed all my attraction to this full-grown man. I actually thought I might be asexual. I was so unattracted to him after four years. Turns out I love intimacy with people who can do regular house chores like dishes and laundry." —kurious-katttt 21. "Realizing he was only changing my perception of him and not actually working to change." —AphroditesNectar 22. "Lying and constant broken promises. I fell out of love the moment I could no longer deny that it wasn't all a series of misunderstandings. It was all purposeful. He then actually admitted he was never going to keep his promises/commitments to me and was still all 'Pikachu face' when I divorced him. And it was compounded with him being a mama's boy." —GlitterZing 23. "He got mean and entitled. If his feelings were hurt, that was my problem to fix (regardless of whether the hurt feelings came from something I did or they came from somewhere else). If my feelings were hurt (even if he hurt me), that was also my problem to fix." —scienceandpuppies 24. "COMPLACENCY!!!!!!!!! I was doing something with my life, and he had no drive outside of me encouraging him to do things, DESPITE the fact that he was years older than me." —jevley 25. "Honestly, the biggest reason was that he was just boring. He never planned anything. We never went anywhere. And if we did, there was always complaining. Once, he asked me on my three-day birthday trip (which I had paid for) when we would get to do an activity that he wanted to do. Um, okay, lol. He was so, so selfish. I am a people pleaser, but it gets old after a while when there is zero reciprocation. I put in wayyyy more effort in the first month than he did the whole two years." —Prudent-Design-413 26. "I realized I felt more alone with him than I did without him. And also that the only thing that kept me there was history/connection/love for him. It wasn't fun, exciting, whimsical, or inspiring. It was just there." —eating-lemons 27. "There were a lot of contributing factors, but one of the biggest was that he had no follow-through. Basically, he'd promise the moon, but always drop the ball or flake out. It becomes hard to live my life and make plans around someone who never kept their end of the bargain." —OkRadish11 28. And: "Never being enough. Even when I pushed every one of my limits, bent over backwards, he would come back and say, 'Well, you could've done more.' At some point, you just stop trying. What's the point if he'll never be satisfied?" —LoveReina Women, have you ever fallen out of love with a partner? What caused it? Tell us in the comments or share anonymously using this form.
