By Thomas Westerholm

Copyright newsweek

A woman says her boyfriend banned her from returning home because of the outfit she chose for a night out, in a viral post online.The Reddit post scored more than 15,000 upvotes within two days before the user deleted her throwaway account.According to the post, the woman had made plans to go out for drinks with friends. Her boyfriend was initially supportive and encouraged her to enjoy the evening, but after asking for a photo of her clothes, his tone shifted.The screenshots show him texting, “No. Absolutely not,” in response to the picture.When she replied that she had no other clothes to wear, he responded, “Then you can find somewhere else to spend the night and I’ll see you tomorrow.”The original poster (OP) replied: “Are you actually serious?”The woman wrote that the ultimatum changed the way she viewed him, describing herself as, “upset beyond belief.”‘That’s dangerous’Reddit commentators on the post felt that the OP was in no way overreacting. Many expressed major concerns, amid 4,700 comments before the post was locked.”Regardless of how he feels about your clothing, the fact it is a shared home means he can’t go around threatening you like that,” one supporter declared.”The fact he even attempted shows he thinks he has control over you, and that’s dangerous.”A fellow Redditor remarked, “I feel like a normal guy would just say you look pretty?”Meanwhile, an “Under reaction if you ask me,” a pundit posted.”He’s not your parent and even if he was, you’re a grown adult.”‘More about control than care’Dr. Marni Feuerman, a relationship expert and couples therapist in South Florida, told Newsweek that the boyfriend’s behavior, “is more about control than care,” and it can reveal deeper issues in the relationship.”Most of the time, this type of dictating behavior comes from insecurity, jealousy, or fear,” Feuerman said.”Instead of the boyfriend saying, ‘I feel anxious when I think other guys might hit on you,’ he tries to solve that discomfort by policing the wardrobe.”The problem is, that doesn’t address the real feelings—it just creates a power imbalance. Small controlling actions can become bigger controlling actions.”As someone who works all the time with unhealthy relationship dynamics, I would point out that telling a partner what they can wear is a red flag for potential coercive control down the line.”It may start with clothes, but it can grow into monitoring who you spend time with, how you spend money, or even whether you pursue certain opportunities.”Feuerman added that it’s important for a woman in that situation to stay connected to friends and family to avoid being isolated, set clear boundaries and pay careful attention to how the boyfriend is making her feel.”How your partner responds will tell you a lot,” Feuerman said.”Someone who respects you will listen and adjust, but someone who doubles down is showing you a pattern of control.”Messy RelationshipsMessy relationships often draw a lot of attention online, as Newsweek has covered in the past.In one popular post, a man shared that his ex-wife had left him for a formerly close friend. She kept his name, which he found odd, but what really sparked the attention of the internet was that when she married his former friend, she made their name a hyphenate.The man told Newsweek that he found the decision, “distasteful.”Meanwhile, a millennial woman on TikTok went viral when she shared her rule for dating, calling it the, “ultimate group project,” in which you get to choose your partner.”Why would I partner up with someone who isn’t also a straight-A student,” she asked.”I have to see the transcripts. I have to see the proof.”Newsweek has contacted a relationship expert requesting further comment.To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, click here.