Copyright Newsweek
At 34, Nadhisha Perera was newly divorced, struggling with fertility and mourning the vision she had long held for her future. Little did she know, her life was about to completely transform. Ever since she was young, Perera, 36, had a very traditional view of how she wanted her life to unfold. She got married at 25 and hoped to build her business and welcome a child within the first year of marriage. However, things didn’t quite work out that way. Perera, from Sydney, Australia, learned that she has polycystic ovaries syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis and a blocked fallopian tube. Starting a family wasn’t impossible, but she told Newsweek that it “would be much harder.” “I always held onto the knowledge that I was possibly infertile, but I placed that in the back of my mind and told myself it would happen somehow. I always knew I was going to be a mother somehow,” Perera said. Two years after tying the knot, Perera’s marriage fell apart, and divorce was on the horizon. By the time she celebrated her 34th birthday, Perera’s life looked very different to the one she’d envisioned. She had been divorced for just over four years and was fresh out of a toxic relationship which left her feeling broken. Nonetheless, she remained hopeful that her fortunes would turn around. Perera said: “I was feeling lost and defeated. A big part of me was still yearning for a family, knowing that I was getting older and that having my own children may become more difficult as the years went on. “Looking at what I wanted was hard because when you come from unhealthy relationships, the time between meeting someone, getting to know them and then waiting to see whether the relationship will work out before having kids is a long time. Part of my healing journey was about loving myself and being happy alone and with whatever the universe delivered." Mindset was pivotal for Perera, as she had to change her perspective from “why is this happening to me?” and start asking herself, “why is this happening for me?” She had no idea how much her life was about to change. As a wedding hairstylist, Perera had known Sidd, a photographer, for several years. Their paths often crossed, but they rarely got to talk and spend quality time together. That was, until they were both working at a destination wedding in Fiji and they finally got to know each other. The rest is history, as they say. Perera knew Sidd has two children as they’d known each other for years, but it was only when things began to get serious between them that she actually saw him as a dad. She said: “I suddenly realized, wow he's a dad who adores his children. I always told myself that dating someone with children wouldn’t be an issue, but I never considered it becoming a reality. I never really thought about it until I realized how much they were part of his life.” As soon as Perera met Sidd’s daughters, she was completely besotted. Being in their lives felt like “a no brainer,” and she adapted to becoming their bonus mom. Having always dreamed of becoming a mom, it wasn’t easy for Perera to adjust that vision to the reality that was now in her grasp. She told Newsweek that she had to do “a lot of inner work” and change some of her expectations of what motherhood looks like. Thankfully, her journey was made much simpler by how quickly Sidd’s children trusted her. They welcomed her into the family without hesitation and now they see Perera as their second mom. Within a matter of months, Perera went from divorced and fearing that she may not get to become a mom, to being in a happy and healthy relationship with two stepchildren. “It still amazes me how life can change in what feels like a single breath,” Perera said. “One moment I was grieving a version of my future, the next I was building a family in the most unexpected and beautiful way. My life didn’t follow a traditional path, but it led me somewhere more aligned, heartfelt and fulfilling than I ever planned." She continued: “The pace of the transformation taught me that life doesn’t always give you time to prepare and sometimes it just asks you to trust and grow into the new chapter that you didn't even know you wanted.” Throughout the ups and downs, Perera documented her experiences on social media (@nadhisha.perera on Instagram). She hopes to inspire other women to remain positive and never to lose hope for what the future may hold. This may not be the future she once envisioned, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. “I know now that nothing was late in my life. It was just my journey, and it was unfolding perfectly,” Perera said. “If you are yearning for a family, please know that sometimes what you want may not come packaged how you expect, but what's inside will be better than you could have imagined. Motherhood can arrive in many forms and none of them are less than the other—they are simply different pathways to love.”
