Copyright forbes
Leadership can be a lonely place. When the buck stops with you as the CEO, making that final call can feel isolating and risky. It may mean you rely too heavily on gut instinct rather than hard data; that the big decision reflects your own beliefs and biases; or that emotion and ambition has clouded your judgment. Two men sitting at table talking This is why all leaders need a critical friend - someone who is there to support them but can also provide constructive challenge. This could be someone you trust within the business, or a trusted friend or mentor who sits outside. It could be someone who provides a mentoring or even therapeutic relationship, or a person you respect from the world of business who has seen it all before. Having a critical friend in business is crucial to ensure that all aspects of important decisions have been thought through. This person will ask probing questions about the goals and activities involved in getting there, will suggest alternative outcomes that might not have been considered, and point out any blind spots or inconsistencies in your reasoning. Most importantly, they’ll feel confident enough to disagree respectfully with your viewpoint and push back with advice on how things can be done differently. The relationship between critical friend and leader must be built on mutual respect and confidentiality. The leader understands their friend’s judgment and integrity, knowing that their feedback is honest but not adversarial. Both will have the goals of the business front of mind, and will not take disagreements personally because they’re viewing the options objectively. And because time is so precious, there will be radical honesty. The critical friend will understand the context and pressures you operate in as a leader, and will be able to provide feedback in a way that recognises your knowledge and experience, but still adds value. For some leaders, that sounding board will come from their fellow executives or the board itself. It could be a non-executive director or even a combination of people who have different strengths or experiences. The key is that the relationship is symbiotic rather than one-sided. A fellow leader in a different industry can become an effective critical friend because they experience the same pain points and have sufficient distance from your business, even if this seems counterintuitive because you operate in different worlds. If you’re unsure who your critical friend might be, there are even technology platforms that can match leaders with mentors based on what they’re trying to achieve and the input they think will be valuable. MORE FOR YOU It’s also important for leaders to look outside their own comfort zones from time to time, as this can provide that extra perspective that a critical friend can offer. Think about the world of sport and how the best team coaches achieve excellence through marginal gains. What do they have to teach business leaders about hitting innovation targets or increasing revenue? Other areas to explore to expand your curiosity could be the world of politics or the military, where leaders must often make difficult decisions with limited information and rely on the support of allies who are valued sounding boards. One of the most important features of a critical friendship is to ask questions - on both sides. An example of this in practice might be if you need to make a decision about entering a new market. The critical friend might ask about the assumptions you or your team are making about these plans, and how confident you are about them. They might ask whether those assumptions have been proven through research or if there are plans to stress-test the strategy for potential risks. A critical friend can simulate the conversations a leader might expect from other stakeholders and the questions that might be asked. These questions can help leaders be more open-minded about directions the business could go in, forcing self-reflection and pause for thought. A truly effective critical friendship doesn’t just strengthen individual decision-making; it helps shape a healthier leadership culture. When leaders are open to feedback, it signals to their teams that constructive challenge is welcomed, not feared. Over time, this creates an organisation where curiosity, reflection, and learning are embedded in the way people work. On a personal level, a critical friendship also builds resilience, reminding leaders that they don’t have to carry the weight of uncertainty alone. In today’s uncertain climate, that blend of trusted support and rigorous questioning can make the difference between good leadership and great leadership. Editorial StandardsReprints & Permissions
