By Francesca Shillcock

Copyright hellomagazine

Being able to travel anywhere in the world is a privilege. And while many of us get to reap the benefits of jetting abroad, whether it’s a luxury romantic holiday, seeking adventure with a group of friends or lapping up sunshine with family, not everyone has been able to or even considered the idea of travelling solo. While many friends of mine embarked on the rite-of-passage backpacking journey through Asia and Australia as we were entering our twenties, the thought of going alone seemed daunting for safety reasons, and witnessing incredible destinations without a pal by their side seemed incomprehensible.

As I’ve entered my thirties, however, and been fortunate to travel relatively frequently with my job, I’ve realised a level of joy in travelling to a new place completely solo. Sure, it may not be a thrill-seeking backpacking adventure, but it’s life-affirming all the same to be somewhere different and be enveloped in the joys that solitude can bring. Here are the lessons that I and other travel fanatics have learned about ourselves through solo expeditions.

Being alone does not equal lonely

I consider myself an introverted extrovert. I thrive in social environments, enjoy mingling with my friends, and the idea of meeting new people in different settings isn’t something that fills me with dread (like many people I know), as I often welcome the opportunity to come across new connections. But I’m also someone who is almost fiercely protective of my independence, so travelling solo is a way to embrace the way I want to live and enjoy my own company. The idea of exploring on my own time and not adhering to another’s schedule is heaven.

I must admit that the first time I did it, I worried about what people might think. Will people think I’m a loner? That thought soon dissipated, but there is a sense of ‘taboo’ about going abroad by yourself or even eating alone in a restaurant. However, and it might sound like a cliché, but being alone does not mean you are lonely. There is joy and discovery in yourself.

‘Living the dream’ is just taking the leap

Laura Cannon, a seasoned traveller and founder of travel company Decades Gap Years for Retirees, is here to explain that, for her, travelling solo was enough of a priority for her to make her life fit around it. For Laura, it’s not ‘luck’, it’s just making the jump.

“The people who live their dreams aren’t necessarily luckier or braver; they just take the leap. I’ve definitely had good luck, and I’m very aware of the privilege I was born into, but I also make choices that make travel possible. I live simply, don’t take on big overheads, and prioritise experiences over stuff. You won’t find me buying lots of new things or committing to a big mortgage. Those are conscious decisions that keep me free.

“Don’t wait for the perfect time at work, because there’s always another project around the corner. Don’t wait for a partner to prioritise travel, or for friends to have the same window of time. You’ll end up never going. If travel is what you want, you have to answer it yourself. That’s a lesson that runs far beyond travel: life changes when you stop waiting for permission.”

It’s not as daunting as many think

When I told my close friend I was going abroad by myself for the first time a couple of years ago, she looked at me aghast and said “I could never do that”. It wasn’t a particularly laborious or challenging expedition, but the idea of being somewhere totally alone was daunting to her. Laura’s faced similar exchanges.

“People always say to me, ‘You’re so brave, I could never do that.’ But honestly, nowhere feels that brave once you’re there. There are always ways to connect with other people, and that makes things feel so much more manageable: walking tours, surf schools, hostels, co-living spaces, and new friends are never far away.

“Home is just a WhatsApp away, too. Solo travel taught me that the world isn’t as scary as it looks from the outside, and that support exists in more forms than I expected. It makes me wonder what I find scary that others think is totally fine. That’s when your world really opens up, when you realise the only thing holding you back is you.”

It affords confidence and a level of achievement

For some, it won’t seem like a big deal. But I did feel a sense of achievement the first time I went away by myself, which ultimately was a big confidence boost. In her HELLO! column, Glynis Barber echoes the confidence boost. “It’s a question of finding a way of doing it that works for you. I would add, however, that going out of our comfort zone is good for us. Challenging ourselves makes us grow and become stronger.”

It challenges assumptions and everyday life

For Laura, not only did she learn about herself, but she learned more about the world. “Travel has also challenged a lot of my assumptions. Europe isn’t the centre of the story. Efficiency in Japan, creativity in Vietnam, resilience across Asia, every country has its genius and its blind spots. Once you see that first-hand, you stop underestimating other places, and you stop underestimating yourself too.”

She adds: “Variety is what fulfils me. When I travel solo, I like to mix things up. I might be in a 10-bed dorm one week and a boutique hotel the next. I’ll be up at 5 am to surf, then spend the afternoon in a spa. And it’s the same in my life back home. My hobbies span surfing, lawn bowls, improv, and beyond. My career has always been about building things from scratch, which means turning your hand to whatever is needed, even things you’ve never done before. Solo travel sharpened that muscle and taught me that everything, in the end, is an experiment.”