People Are Opening Up About Things That Are Way, Way More Traumatizing Than Others Realize
Not all wounds are visible or obvious.
I think it’s safe to say we’ve all experienced things that have stayed with us, but some experiences leave way deeper marks than we expect. Now, I am not talking about things that we traditionally think of when we talk about trauma (like the sudden loss of a loved one). I am talking about something that might seem small, inconsequential, or ordinary on the surface, but it stays with you for years. A single comment or action can quietly shape how you see the world. Often, people who haven’t experienced it don’t realize how deeply it can affect you.
Recently, redditor Express_One_5074 wanted to hear about those experiences when they asked: “What’s more traumatizing than people realize?”
The thread got thousands of replies. Below are the top and most often repeated things people said are more traumatizing than others think:
1. “Workplace bullying or toxic environments, sometimes you can feel undermined or humiliated by your higher-ups. There’s a lot of pressure to perform well, and others can power-trip on you, which takes a huge toll on mental health.”
2. “Not being believed. Having the courage to report to a parent/ teacher/cop/etc., and not being believed. When bad things happen in the future, the person won’t want to tell anyone because the pain of not being believed is soul-crushing.”
3. “Being raised in poverty, and I’m not talking about ‘Oh, I can’t afford an iPhone, so I have an Android.’ I’m talking about eating the same barley soup for years and years over and over again because there’s no money for something else. Or being afraid every night you go to sleep because you live in a rough neighborhood where if someone sees you have more than they do, they’ll get inside your home and steal the few things you have. Hearing people getting robbed or stabbed in the street in front of your house, wondering why your parents would decide to have you in these conditions, and hating every second of your life. It really traumatized me.”
4. “Emotional neglect as a child.”
5. “Favoritism in children from parents.”
6. “Your parents arguing in front of you, literally didn’t know people had parents who didn’t argue in front of their kids until I heard my sister’s husband say he never saw his fight.”
7. “Walking on eggshells at home and having your family make you feel like the issue in question is your fault.”
8. “Silent treatment.”
9. “Chronic pain, not only because of the literal physical symptoms, but from navigating a health care system that often takes years to give you any meaningful answers while you watch pieces of your life dissolve, not knowing if they’ll come back.”
10. “Moving often.”
11. “Losing a pet unexpectedly. It feels like a small part of your heart is missing, and people often don’t understand how deep that hurt can go.”
12. “Being the parentified older sibling. I used to feel proud of the fact that I knew how to take care of a baby/toddler when I was a teenager. Now I realize I maybe shouldn’t have had responsibility like that when I was a child myself.”
13. “Consistently being yelled at. I still flinch when people raise their voices cause my dad did it all the time. Even though I haven’t been yelled at like that in years by him, I’m still slightly scared to ever be around him.”
14. “Living with a pest infestation. I’ve lived in two places where there were pest problems, now, and one of those was several kinds of pests, and it fucks with you. You’re bracing yourself every time you open a cabinet. Your heart rate spikes every time you feel something brush against your leg. You turn on the lights, expecting to see them scatter.”
15. “Empty nest. You spend years pouring yourself into these little ones to make them productive and independent and then POOF! They leave and you’re both proud and devastated. It’s very weird and causes a lot of cognitive dissonance.”
16. “Being infantilized. It’s more so frustrating, but yeah, it can be traumatizing.”
17. “Bullying. So many people downplay just how bad it can fuck you up to be bullied as a child. I’m in my 20s and still trying to unpack all the damage.”
18. “Being cheated on.”
19. “Long-term unemployment. Financial stress, impostor syndrome, housing and food uncertainty, dehumanizing unemployment ‘services,’ near constant job searching (10-plus hours a day), career path degradation…”
20. And lastly, “Burnout. Ever since recovering, I’m living a constant inner war between my need to perform/please and my fear of crossing my boundaries. I’ve never been the same, and in some ways, I’m ok with that, as I do take it easier, but sometimes I flashback to being in such a bad state I can’t function, and it makes me function less well.”
You can read the original thread on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.