By Lindsay Ash,Voices

Copyright jerseyeveningpost

By Lindsay Ash

SOME time ago in the 1970s a hotel in Torquay hired a firm of builders whose work was less than satisfactory. The hotel proprietor blamed one of the staff for the errors, using the following phrase: “Well, whose fault is it then, you cloth-eared bint – Denis Compton’s?”

This raises two questions for the modern reader. Firstly, why the proprietor – one Mr Basil Fawlty – was not subject to arrest and charged with misogynistic hate speech and secondly, who was Denis Compton?

Well, Mr Fawlty was lucky that he was a creation of the 1970s or he may never have run a hotel in Torquay and in today’s less tolerant times may have shared a cell with Norman Stanley Fletcher in Slade Prison. As for Denis Compton, his story was and remains a fascinating one.

He was probably the first commercial British sportsman to make substantial earnings from endorsements, most notably the hairstyling product Brylcreem, for which he was heavily featured in newspapers and magazines. The reason he was an obvious choice was that not only was Compton a sporting superstar both before and after the war, he was also a dashing personality. That doyen of cricket writers Neville Cardus beautifully described his talent: “Never have I been so deeply touched on a cricket ground as in this heavenly summer when I went to Lords to see a pale-faced crowd existing on rations, the rocket bomb still in the ears of most, and see the strain of anxiety and affliction passed from all hearts and shoulders at the sight of Compton in full sail, each stroke a flick of delight, a propulsion of happy, sane, healthy life…there were no rations in an innings by Compton.”

There was much more to Compton than being an excellent cricketer. He played for Arsenal both in their League-winning team of 1948 and the FA Cup-winning one of 1950. Impossible to do nowadays, of course, due to the football season encroaching but to put it into perspective it’s like Joe Root playing for Liverpool.

Even that, though, would not match Compton as he also served in the Second World War in India. It was while there he met and formed a lifelong friendship with the legendary Australian Keith Miller when they played against each other in an Australian services v East Zone match. The match was interrupted by rioters who invaded the pitch, one saying to Compton, who was on 94 at the time: “Mr Compton, you are a very good player, but the match must stop now.” Miller thought this was hilarious and would repeat it every time Compton went out to bat against the Australians!

He and Miller were kindred spirits, both enjoying life off the pitch to the max. It was said that Miller would greet the incoming batsman with a genuine question of: “Do you know who won the 3.30 at Ascot?”

Stories were plentiful. Many were told by Peter Parfitt, the former Middlesex player, in after dinner speeches. One concerned the first day of the season at Lords. Play was due to start in 15 minutes and there was no sign of Denis. The dressing room door opened and there he was in his dinner jacket. He changed into his whites and told the 12th man to wake him up when he was in. Two wickets fell quickly and he was soon awoken. Compton was legendary for his poor memory and had forgotten his bat. He searched around the dressing room floor and picked one up. Freddie Titmus, another Middlesex and England player, said: “You don’t want that one Compo, it’s a plank.” Compton looked at him and said: “Titmus anything in your hands is a plank!” He went out and scored 100 before lunch.

As I said, his memory – or lack of one – was legendary and Parfitt told a tale of speaking at a 70th birthday party for Denis when a phone call came through for the guest of honour – it was his mother with the message: “Denis you’re not 70, you’re 69!”

Times have, of course, changed considerably, perhaps epitomised by this quote from Peter May: “I doubt if many of my contemporaries did many exercises. I have often tried to imagine Evans and Compton doing press-ups in the outfield before the day’s play, but so far have failed miserably.”

It’s sad that the overwhelming surge of football in the calendar means we’ll never see the likes of Compton’s achievements again and the intrusion of the press means we are unlikely to see people arrive in a DJ straight from a night out to participate in a sporting event either!

I’ll close with a quote from the man himself that perhaps sums up his attitude. After being voted Middlesex’s greatest player he said: “Let’s go to the pub – the drinks are on me.”

Lindsay Ash was Deputy for St Clement between 2018 and 2022, serving as Assistant Treasury and Home Affairs Minister under Chief Minister John Le Fondré. He worked in the City of London for 15 years as a futures broker before moving to Jersey and working in the Island’s finance industry from 2000. Feedback welcome on Twitter @Getonthelash2.