Copyright Forbes
Through decades of leadership in business and government, I’ve discovered that people are the true bricks and mortar of any endeavor. Early in my career, I was fixated on strategy and numbers, but experience has taught me that even the best plans crumble without a team that feels genuinely valued. Apparently, I’m far from alone, and the CEO of Potential Project, Rasmus Hougaard, notes that, “companies are increasingly realizing the power of creating people-centric organizations that value the happiness of employees as much as the bottom line.” When team members feel seen and heard, their engagement soars. They give their all, not out of obligation, but because they know they matter. People can tell if you truly value their input. It shows in how you listen, ask follow-up questions, and process what they’re saying. “They Didn’t Say Hello” One of the reasons we sometimes struggle to value others is that it’s so easy to misjudge them. Case in point, a few years ago, my wife and I took our four-year-old twin grandsons for a walk in one of our community parks. As we made our way around the trail, we passed a woman with two young boys, around six and eight years old. We said hello, but they didn’t answer. They just looked at us with blank expressions. Our twins quickly picked up on this. “Grandad, they didn’t say hello,” they said, puzzled. I figured maybe they just weren’t very friendly, and we kept going. A few minutes later, when we came back around, we saw the boys again. This time, they were holding a box of popsicles. They walked up and asked, “Would your boys like one?” I smiled and said yes. Then they explained that the reason they hadn’t greeted us earlier was that their mom, who didn’t speak English and had just moved to the area, had taught them not to talk to strangers. Suddenly, I felt a little guilty for how quickly I’d judged them. They weren’t unfriendly at all! They were simply following their mother’s instructions to keep them safe. As we walked away, the mom gave us a warm smile, and that brief exchange reminded me how easy it is to devalue people and how one small act of kindness can break down walls. Two Essential Qualities The core of valuing others starts with authenticity and attentiveness. The goal is to be so genuine that others feel like they know us, and leave conversations feeling seen and heard. Trust me, people know the difference when you’re authentic and attentive, and as author Craig Groeschel writes, “people would rather follow a leader who is real than one who is always right.” Valuing people doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say. However, it does mean taking the time to explain why an idea won’t work or how it might need to be adjusted. As a leader, you must remember that everyone wants to contribute to something greater and be recognized for it. Gallup finds that employee engagement grows when people feel connected to their work and valued for their strengths. Sometimes, you won’t be able to provide immediate feedback because further research is needed. This is normal. But good communication goes a long way in maintaining strong trust. When people are skeptical of your decisions, be transparent about the reasoning behind them. Even if they disagree, they’ll usually respect your honesty, and that keeps the door open for future conversations. And don’t forget to communicate in a timely way. If you change course, explain why. Nothing erodes trust faster than saying one thing and then doing another without explanation. As leaders, we need to be aware of how easily we default to valuing others who look like us or act the way we expect. What we often overlook is that people from different backgrounds may share the same hopes, goals, and values that we do. People are our greatest resource, but if they feel dismissed or ignored, they can become our harshest critics. On the other hand, if they feel valued and seen, they’ll respect us and often become our strongest supporters.
