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Is 19 years too big? Sophie Turner and Chris Martin don’t think so (Picture: Getty) Sophie Turner is reportedly dating Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, despite an age gap of almost 20 years between them. The Game Of Thrones actress, 29, wouldn’t be the first younger woman the 48-year-old singer has coupled up with. He split from 36-year-old Dakota Johnson this summer, after almost eight years together. It’s unclear whether their ‘secret date’, first reported by the Daily Mail, was a one-off or the start of a new relationship. But it’s got us thinking: is there a perfect age gap if you want your relationship to go the distance? Well, actually, yes. Smaller is better A zero to three-year age gap is the ideal difference in age between you and your partner, according to experts. ‘This age gap is likely to result in a longer-lasting relationship, according to research,’ psychotherapist Eloise Skinner tells Metro. The reason for this is that you’re at similar life stages. ‘You’re more likely to have matched expectations financially in terms of spending, saving and investments, as well as health-wise,’ she adds. Eloise also explains you’re more likely to be aligned on physical ability, so you’ll be able to do the same weekend activities, childcare responsibilities and even have the same travel goals. She adds that research shows relationship satisfaction levels decline over the duration of the partnership for couples that have significant age gaps. ‘Age gap couples might be less resilient when it comes to challenging events in their marriage, compared to similarly aged couples, according to research,’ Eloise explains. Of course, there are plenty of happy couples with large age gaps, but you’ll need to prepare for inevitable ageing changing your dynamic even further. Metro recently spoke to influencer Lorna Andrews (aka Lorna Luxe) about her age-gap marriage with husband John. She never worried about their 21-year age gap, until he was dignosed with cancer. And last week, we heard from a reader who admitted to struggling with her older husband’s ‘dad bod’, as signs of his ageing kick in. Is there an age gap that’s too large? It’s a topic we recently discussed on Metro’s Just Between Us podcast. Listener Katie, 22, called in after making a disturbing discovery about her boyfriend, 32. ‘I went to stretch myself as you do in the morning and my hand went under his pillow where I felt something,’ she explains. ‘I take the pillow away and I see a used condom. It was horrible.’ In case it wasn’t clear, this condom was nothing to do with her. Horrified, she showered, got dressed and walked out the door. That marked the end of their relationship. But Katie began questioning if her pattern of picking older men was a problem. Did she just pick a bad apple, or is such a big age gap between partners a recipe for disaster? ‘Age gaps can become an issue where it results in a disparity of maturity level (which could be thought of as ’emotional age’), life experiences, values, priorities and expectations,’ Eloise explains. ‘Some bigger, more practical life challenges that might arise are topics like starting a family – if one partner is much older, there can be issues around conception, mismatches in parenting styles, and a higher likelihood of a child losing one parent when the child is still relatively young. ‘Financial planning, where one partner is planning for retirement, whereas the other might be taking more financial risks, can also be a problem.’ While Eloise explains there’s no hard upper limit for an age gap, each couple should assess their needs in a relationship and be realistic about whether they can give each other the life they want. She does have one concern about large age gaps, though. ‘There’s the potential concern of power dynamics in an age gap relationship – for example, where one person has more financial resources, a bigger career or status,’ she explains. ‘Of course, this can also occur without age gaps present. For a sustainable, long-term relationship, partners should aim to be on similar levels in terms of emotional maturity, psychological maturity, values, goals and preferences, which might be more likely to occur in smaller or no age-gap relationships.’ This article was originally published in August 2025. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
