By Roseina Coutinho

Copyright deccanchronicle

Looks like ‘three’ is the magic number among today’s busy and stressed-out couples. Many modern couples are embracing the 3-Hour Rule for a happy and balanced life. For those unaware, the ‘3×3’ rule per week simply means: 1) Spending an hour with your partner doing household chores; 2) Reserving 60 minutes for intimacy or deeper connections with your partner; 3) Keeping an hour for yourself or personal hobbies. Try the 3-Hour Rule mantra every week for a few months, and you will rekindle the missing spark in your relationship or marriage. Triple The Fun “The Three-Hour rule is best seen as a mini relationship retreat you can create at your home,” says Dr. Kavita Pant, a Consultant Psychologist. She takes us through the dynamics involved in this 3-hour rule functioning. Think of this retreat being divided into three stages. It starts with you and your partner cooking a meal together or engaging in any household tasks (cooking, doing dishes, laundry etc). The second hour, you set aside for intimacy, wherein there are deep conversations, cuddling or even sexual intercourse. In the third hour, you pursue personal hobbies, such as reading, painting, listening to music, or even watching a movie while sitting side by side. Dr Kavita says, “Psychologically, it’s powerful as it touches three pillars of a healthy relationship: shared responsibility, intimacy and individuality.” All in all, this concept is simple but powerful. At its heart, the ‘3×3’ rule suggests that couples should aim to spend at least three hours per week engaging in the above. The Goal is simple. It helps couples get away from mindless chatter and fights, along with hours of side-by-side scrolling. It’s more than just running errands or coexisting. It’s all about spending real, intentional time together. The 3-Hour Magic Three hours of honest-to-goodness time together can work wonders to build emotional stability and sort out many issues. Ayushi Mathur, Relationship Coach, Co-Founder of Life By Design Retreats says, “The 3-Hour rule addresses three critical relationship needs systematically.” She explains that first, it tackles the practical reality that household management can become a source of tension in many households. With one partner developing a sense of resentment towards the other. Secondly, it prioritises intimacy before fatigue and boredom set in. Third, it maintains individual identity within relationships. Allowing couples to believe that they can engage in hobbies and pursuits different from each other, yet have the other support them alongside. Ayushi adds, “The rule allows for a lot of personal space while remaining physically and emotionally available to each other.” Believe it or not, but quality time can also help prevent arguments. Relationship coaches and experts opine that many fights stem from feelings of ‘neglect’ or ‘misunderstanding.’ A consistent 3-hour check-in with the other gives partners a chance to air concerns before they turn into resentment. Dr Kavita explains, “When partners continue to pursue personal growth and novelty, they avoid the trap of stagnation, keeping the bond fresh and lively.” She opines that while this three-hour rule may sound just like any other trend, it holds importance as its roots go deep into decades of psychological science. Same Roof, Hearts Apart Most couples believe that being under the same roof translates to spending time together. Dr Kavita quips, “What couples need to understand is this: Quality time is about engagement, not mere presence.” She goes on to explain that many couples lose their spark not because love disappears but simply because they stop making intentional efforts. It’s here that the ‘3-Hour Rule’ reignites that spark. Dr Kavita says, “The 3-Hour Rule helps keep this spark alive and thrives on consistent, small investments of attention and novelty.” Ayushi believes that at present, very few couples seem to be following this structure. She says, “These elements flow in without formal discussion; however, couples need to make conscious proactive decisions about such rules rather than handle ugly situations.” Ayushi quips, “I think this rule creates predictability in an unpredictable world of love and relationships.” Important to mention is also the point that physical intimacy is as important as emotional warmth. Aayushi explains, “The dedicated intimacy hour prevents the common excuse of couples being ‘too tired’ to engage in physical intimacy.” Tried & Tested In a world that glorifies distance over love and hustle over cuddles, the real task is choosing to carve out three solid hours just for each other — no phones, no multitasking, no half-listening. Just connection, conversation, and some cosy time together to fuel your “Us Time.” Perhaps it’s time to hit that pause button on the world, and show up…