By Amber Harding
Copyright outkick
Well, it finally happened. The Miami Dolphins made it to the win column. I went to bed feeling like a winner instead of a fool who was doomed from childhood to live a life of football misery. But, friends, at what cost? At what cost? Despite my well-documented qualms about Tyreek Hill as a human being, I certainly didn’t want to watch his leg snap in half on live television. But, in Tua’s words, at least everyone was safe “for the most part.” I’m not going to lie. That post-game interview fried me. I’m all for the Lord and Savior shout-outs, but this one just felt… awkward. Especially given Tua’s “f*ck the media and all this noise” demeanor over the past week. I think we all know what’s going to happen here. Tua is going to play well in spurts — completely out of spite, too — and the Dolphins will win six, seven MAYBE eight games. Not enough to make the playoffs but just enough to screw up our draft position. This is our fate, and we have accepted it. It could be worse, though. At least I’m not a Jets fan. What Else Is Going On? So glad you asked. Let’s do some Nightcaps. Sydney Sweeney Gets Spacey The poster girl of dudes who spend too much time on the internet ditched her American Eagle jeans this weekend in favor of a shiny silver dress with stars all over it. The look was supposed to be spacey — galactic, if you will — in honor of her outer-space-themed birthday party. All the stars (no pun intended) and billionaires showed up, including Jeff Bezos, Lauren Sanchez, Wiz Khalifa, Diplo, Ashton Kutcher and Glen Powell. If Sydney’s dress looks like you’ve seen it before, it’s because you have. It’s the exact dress that Britney Spears wore in 2008 during her Circus album promos. For the record, Sydney’s 28th birthday was way back on Sept. 12, but she’s just now getting around to celebrating. Probably had to find a date that worked for everybody. I did LOL, though, at Lauren Sanches making sure she was the most boobtastic person at the party celebrating the woman famous for her boobs. Hilarious and petty. Looking through these photos, I do have a bone to pick — with MY friends. I sent out some feelers a little while ago about potentially hosting a Halloween party at my house later this month during the Tennessee-Alabama game. There’ll be food, booze, hot tub, yard games, football, all that good stuff. (I’m a great hostess, not to brag.) And I got a handful of texts back to the effect of, “Do we have to wear costumes?” YES. IT’S A HALLOWEEN PARTY. This is what I’m dealing with. I cannot even imagine how these killjoys would respond if I told them I demanded they dress like a space alien for my birthday. Babe’s Sports Bar Opens In Chicago An upscale sports bar opened up in Chicago over the weekend called Babe’s. And before you think it’s a sports bar with babes as waitresses and bartenders, think again. No, this bar is a women’s sports bar — meaning it only shows women’s sports. Honestly, I think this is a pretty cool idea, and I hope it works out for them. The place was absolutely packed on opening day, but the real test will be whether that buzz can hold once the novelty wears off. And if you don’t believe there’s an audience for “just” women’s sports, then you’ve clearly never seen hordes of lesbians line up for a WNBA game. (Said with all the love in the world — y’all know I’m a WNBA fan myself.) Plus, and I might get some hate mail for this one, I think men truly underestimate how many women would happily pay for overpriced cocktails at a bar where they can actually watch sports without being cornered by Chad from accounting explaining his fantasy football roster and challenging her to “name five players.” MORE ON THAT: Guy Teaches Golf Pro How To Golf & Why I Never Reveal What I Do For A Living Anyway if you’re near Chicago and happen to pop in Babe’s, shoot me an email and let me know how it goes. I’m genuinely curious. How Long Can You Hold A Beer Stein? I mean a full one — not how long you can hold a beer stein while drinking out of it. In case you missed it, the 2025 National Hofbräu Masskrugstemmen Finals at Central Park’s Oktoberfest in New York City took place last week. During the competition, 21 men and 14 women battled it out for the top prize: a four-day, three-night trip to Munich, Germany. So what do you have to do? You have to hold a full stein of beer out in front of you with a straight arm for as long as possible. Let’s roll the tape. Lest you think this is just some drunk people playing a bar game, stein holding is a serious business. So much so that there is a whole association that regulates this sport. The rules are simple. Competitors hold a full one-liter beer stein — which weighs approximately 5 pounds — out in front of their bodies with a straight arm, parallel to the ground. The last person holding with good form is declared the winner. Because biology is real, there’s a separate men’s and women’s competition. On the men’s side, Bob Shalack of New Jersey won, setting a new record of 24 minutes, 14 seconds as the crowd shouted, “Hold that beer! Hold that beer! Hold that beer!” That’s a long ass time to hold a beer. He probably didn’t even want to drink it afterward — you know, because it’s warm and because of the debilitating agony in his right shoulder. Now, pause right here. Before you scroll and keep reading, I want you to try to predict the female winner’s time. If a man held the beer for 24+ minutes, how long do you think the strongest female held the beer? You make your guess? Here’s the answer: 5 minutes and 20 seconds. Folks, my flabbers were gasted. So 31-year-old Sydnie Mauch, a volleyball coach from Texas, took home the 2025 prize. She was 50 seconds short of the women’s record — held by Taylor Handy — of 6 minutes and 10 seconds. Now, I mean absolutely zero disrespect toward Sydnie. She’s obviously very strong and a badass holder of brews. But when I saw the women’s results and the women’s record, I thought to myself… That just doesn’t seem like a very long time. Admittedly, I may be a little over-confident. I’m a former competitive bodybuilder, I can squat and deadlift twice my weight, and I’m the champion water bucket holder of Fort Myers Beach. So yesterday, after my upper body lift, I decided to time myself holding a 5-pound dumbbell out in front of me. I was humbled, y’all. I made it two and a half minutes before my front delt started screaming like a teenage girl in a slasher movie. But it got me thinking. And now I’m making a commitment… I’m joining the beer stein competition in 2026. Don’t try to talk me out of it. I’m doing it. I mean, think about it. I’m already halfway there on a whim with fatigued muscles. If I train for it over the next year — really zone in — I think I can do it. Maybe even get to six minutes! Imagine the OutKick content if I won and got a free trip to Munich! Selfishly, though, I just want to be able to say I’m the U.S. Masskrugstemmen record holder. My parents would be so proud. Everything they’ve ever dreamed for me. Oh, your kid is a heart surgeon? Well, ours can hold a beer mug longer than anybody! Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Stuff I Liked OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. Follow me on X / Twitter at @TheAmberHarding or email me at Amber.Harding@OutKick.com.
