By Michael Moran

Copyright birminghammail

An emotional Shirley Ballas has opened up about the death of her brother who killed himself at the age of just 44. Speaking to Paul C Brunson’s on his We Need To Talk podcast, Shirley explained that her sibling David Rich was “either very up or very down” but was a “gentle soul”. The Strictly Come Dancing judge added that “certain things went on in his life that were not great,” which only came to light many years later. Shirley explained: “I believe as a child, different things that happened to him. And because of that, he grew up really quite tough. “He was quite tough on me, he was more like the dad in the household, even though there’s only 18 months between us.” Shirley tearfully added: “I really think if he hadn’t have been the way he was I wouldn’t be sitting here. So I don’t think he could control a lot of things that went on in his own life, but he certainly controlled a lot that went on in my life.” Shirley says that David was “a great brother,” but as he reached his mid-40s he became badly afflicted with depression: “He seemed very low. He lost a lot of weight. We never really got to the root cause of it. “I think maybe his past was catching up with him. I just think he just somehow went into a dark hole. The thing is, with depression and mental health, I knew nothing about that. “I was busy, I had my son, I had my husband, my mother lived with me and somebody else’s two children that I raised.” Shirley says she was focused on her own busy family life and could never find the time to go and visit her older brother: “My mother did. But she wasn’t a great communicator, so she didn’t say, ‘you need to stop everything. You need to come up here’ “He faded fast. And then there was just one time when my son was singing at Saint Paul’s Church, and I said to my mum and brother ‘Why don’t you come up for the week?’ And he goes, no, ‘I’m feeling much better. Let mum go.’ “And she went and he took his own life that weekend in our north of England home. So it was just tragic. It was sudden. It was – you can’t even explain it unless you lose somebody.” Shirley has said that, to a certain extent, she blames herself for David’s death because she didn’t realise how deeply depressed he was in his final days. Since David’s death, Shirley has educated herself much more about mental health issues, and says that these days – no matter how busy she is – she takes care to check in on friends she hasn’t heard from in a while. For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org , visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.