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Have you ever opened a jar of Crisco and proceeded to slather it all over your body? I have, in the summer of 1992. I was just exiting sixth grade, and my friend was over for an afternoon of suntanning. When I reached for the brown bottle of suntan lotion, my friend stopped me, “Let’s go look for your mom’s Crisco.” “Crisco???” I said. “Yes, it’s how my older sister gets so tan.” Although I was suspicious that vegetable shortening was good for my skin, I silenced my doubts when I pictured her older sister in my mind—she was gorgeous, popular, and bronze. From a young age, we have an immature relationship with authority. Psychologists call this authority bias, which means we are more influenced by the opinions and judgments of perceived authority figures. This can lead us to accept information or follow instructions without critically evaluating the content. In middle school, this meant that I put high schoolers on the pedestal of perfection. But sadly, we never really outgrow this. It reared its ugly head again when I found myself in corporate America, sitting in a windowless gray conference room, in one of those all-day meetings. I felt like the conversation was going in circles, and we kept hearing from the same voices. Frustrated, I wondered why other people, especially the women in the room, weren’t speaking up. And then I realized that I wasn’t speaking up, either. I silenced my ideas because I was intimidated by the HiPPo in the room: the highest-paid person’s opinion. Looking back now, I realize that I had a big problem: what I now call a Pedestal Problem. Subscribe to the Daily newsletter.Fast Company's trending stories delivered to you every day Privacy Policy | Fast Company Newsletters THE PEDESTAL PROBLEM Have you ever put someone on a pedestal, because they had a higher title, more experience, or even more charisma than you? Did you think that they knew best and therefore, your ideas, questions, or insights didn’t matter? Or, there was no room for your expertise? I did, for years. And it held me back from being a more confident and impactful leader. In my current work as an executive coach and speaker, which includes hundreds of conversations with leaders, I learned that the pedestal problem interrupts the connection we have with ourselves. When we put other people on a pedestal, we assume they know better than us, and we should silence our ideas and insights to get along. We stop listening to our inner knowledge or trusting ourselves. Books are left unwritten, status quos unchanged, products undeveloped, and cultures mediocre. In contrast, when people put us on a pedestal, we can develop an inflated ego and never get good feedback, as people are too intimidated to share concerns or ideas with us. Putting others on a pedestal super-humanizes leaders, which actually dehumanizes them. Teams withhold concerns and feedback that leaders need. Research from Visier (2025) shows that nearly half (46%) of employees admit to withholding honest feedback at work. If you relate to any of this, it may be time to pull the pedestal. Instead of giving you advice (which tends to age as well as sunscreen recommendations from the 1900s), here are some questions to consider to move you closer to the confident leader you are meant to become: RECONNECT WITH YOURSELF I spent 12 years at a company that practically raised me. Around year nine, I started to think about leaving. But in our area, the bank had a great reputation, as both a business and an employer. While ruminating over my decision, I spoke to colleagues and friends, many whom had years more experience than I. Almost everyone urged me to stick it out, with some senior leaders in the bank even sharing that they “had tough periods too, but it always passed.” Reconnecting with myself meant recognizing that—at the end of the day—this job didn’t align with my values. In spite of what others advised, I enjoyed creativity, and a highly regulated bank was a mismatch for this. Ultimately, I decided to leave and found a new job that aligned strongly with my values. Ask yourself: Does this advice, person, or situation align with my values and what I stand for? Because if I don’t know what I stand for, what will I settle for? advertisement RE-ESTABLISH EQUAL CONNECTION WITH OTHERS When we meet people more senior than us, we often shrink and hold back on ideas. To establish equal connection, I had to identify how my doubts and lack of confidence kept me more silent than I needed to be. And then, I started to explore what experiences, talents, or points of view only I can bring to the world, my work, or this meeting. In my work coaching executive leaders now, it’s not uncommon that I feel intimidated by the prospect of consulting with a CEO for a company that I admire. However, to establish equal connection, I remind myself that I am not there to have their level of expertise or have all the answers or questions. Instead, my unique talents and contributions lie in my ability to hold space, ask the right questions, and get them thinking about things in different ways. Ask yourself: What experiences, talents, or points of view can only I bring to the world, my work, or this meeting? Owning our talents helps us see the talents in others without compare and despair, bringing us together at the table as equals. CONNECT WITH YOUR FUTURE POTENTIAL When I started my executive coaching business, I had a lot of doubts. Taking those first steps and showing up—even though I didn’t feel like an equal among other entrepreneurs—meant getting very clear with my future potential. I asked questions like, “Where do I want to be by the time I’m retired?,” “What am I passionate about?,” “What are the unique talents and skills that I bring?” The answer was clear: It had always been training, leadership development, and coaching. While I was terrified, it was tapping into this calling that gave me the drive to build my business and show up as an equal, in spite of the pedestal problem. Ask yourself: What am I meant to create? When I’m 80 years old and in my dream retirement, what legacy have I left behind that I am known for? It’s time to stop underestimating ourselves and pull the pedestal, so we can be more confident and impactful leaders. Many people might think that to pull the pedestal, you should just “have more confidence” or “fake it until you make it,” but that never worked for me or anyone I know. My leadership conversations have shown that confident, fulfilled leaders reconnect to themselves, equalize their connections with others, and connect with the future they desire to create.
