Copyright Newsweek
Parents with unhealthy attachment styles are at higher risk of parental burnout—including emotional exhaustion and a need to distance themselves from their children—a new study has found. The study, published in the journal PLOS One and conducted by researchers at the Maria Grzegorzewska University in Warsaw, Poland, examined 440 Polish parents during the COVID-19 pandemic. Using three psychological questionnaires, the team measured each parent’s attachment style, their ability to identify and describe emotions (a trait known as alexithymia) and symptoms of burnout. The researchers found that parents with insecure attachment styles—either avoidant or anxious—were significantly more likely to experience burnout. Those with avoidant attachment tend to suppress their emotions and withdraw from emotionally demanding interactions, while those with anxious attachment are often emotionally reactive and insecure in relationships. Both styles were linked with higher burnout, though the effects manifested differently across men and women. A key factor in this relationship was alexithymia, or difficulty identifying and expressing emotions. Parents who struggled to recognize what they were feeling were more prone to exhaustion and emotional distancing from their children. Parenting requires constant adjustment to both one’s own emotions and a child’s needs, the researchers said. When parents cannot identify or articulate what they feel, stress accumulates more easily and coping strategies become less effective. The data showed that alexithymia often acted as a bridge between insecure attachment and burnout—essentially explaining how early relational patterns translate into parenting fatigue. Among women, anxious attachment was most strongly linked to burnout through emotional processing difficulties. For men, avoidant attachment played a larger role, both directly and through alexithymia. Men in the study reported higher average alexithymia scores—close to clinical thresholds—indicating more difficulty understanding their emotions. They also showed higher overall levels of burnout. Researchers noted that men often rely on emotional suppression, while women tend to be more emotionally expressive but can become overwhelmed when caregiving demands are constant. The study also found that early relationships shaped these burnout pathways differently between men and women. For men, avoidant attachment to their mothers was most strongly associated with burnout. For women on the other hand, avoidant attachment to their fathers had the strongest link, suggesting that the father–daughter bond may be particularly influential in shaping stress resilience and emotional regulation. The authors argued that interventions for parental burnout should go beyond stress management to address emotion regulation and attachment-related processes. This could include therapy approaches such as mentalization-based therapy (which focusses on improving the ability to understand one's feelings and motivations) or emotion-focused therapy, which aim to strengthen emotional awareness and empathy. They also recommend sex-sensitive support strategies—for example, helping fathers re-engage emotionally and reducing avoidance behaviors, while helping mothers manage emotional overactivity and develop constructive expression. Newsweek has reached out to the researchers for additional comment. Do you have a tip on a health story that Newsweek should be covering? Do you have a question about parenting and burnout? Let us know via health@newsweek.com. Reference
