“They always ask, ‘Why let the story run if it’s false? You know a wise man once said nothin’ at all.’”
Years ago, I heard this quote in a song, and I thought what a powerful statement in a society where everyone feels compelled to share their opinions and feelings on the internet regularly.
Think back to a time before the world wide web, when social media wasn’t even a thought and we either got our news from a newspaper or by watching television. As an 80s baby, I remember playing outside daily and what it felt like not to be attached to devices constantly. Growing up, I may have shared my opinions with my inner circle of family and friends, but I didn’t have a megaphone that could instantly share my thoughts and feelings with millions of strangers at the click of a button. In today’s world, anytime something happens anywhere, people flock to social media, blogs and online communities to share their opinions.
It almost feels like we think our opinions aren’t valid unless we share them with the masses. Scroll down your timeline and you’ll see dozens of perspectives on how every Tom, Dick and Harry feels about a current event. But do we ever stop and ask ourselves: Do I really need to know how everyone feels about every little thing, or is it just total overload for my brain?
As an adult, it can be draining, so imagine how it must feel for kids and teenagers who may be lacking maturity — and whose brains aren’t even fully developed — as they scroll the internet and social media. With all the false narratives, divisiveness and people looking to impose their opinions on everyone else, we must teach our kids not only how to drown out the noise but also empower them to understand that their opinions are valid whether they share them or not.
We can start by engaging in meaningful conversations with our children from an early age. When we talk with them about their day at school, sports or current events, they get the chance to think about their opinions and practice articulating them. I am not saying our children shouldn’t have opinions; we should absolutely encourage them to have strong ones. When kids learn to review facts, think critically and then form their own conclusions, they will feel more confident in their views and less likely to be swayed by public opinion.
Once we empower our children to be confident in their opinions, we then need to help them understand that they don’t need anyone else to validate their feelings. This one can be a bit harder, because human nature craves affirmation. Kids often look to their parents for a stamp of approval, and from a young age we all yearn for it. Helping your children understand that it’s okay to agree to disagree, even when their views don’t align with popular opinion, makes them more secure in who they are.
Often, my father and I would engage in healthy debates when I was growing up and honestly, we still do. We debate everything from politics to sports to chess moves, and each time we do, I feel completely confident in my position. Sometimes it’s to my dad’s dismay, at which point I remind him that he raised me to be steadfast in my opinions and not let others influence my perspective. Now, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be open to hearing different perspectives. But it does mean we shouldn’t let others sway us into thinking something just because our viewpoint isn’t the most popular. Kids who learn this are more likely to grow into adults who don’t fall victim to becoming people pleasers.
In the age of Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X and so many other platforms, we must remind our kids that they don’t always have to chime in. Their opinions are valid whether anyone agrees with them or not. They don’t have to convince anyone else of how they feel, and it’s perfectly fine to keep scrolling without commenting on every little thing. So often, I see things on my timeline that I don’t agree with or that downright offend me. And you know what I do? I keep scrolling. Or I delete the comments. Sometimes, I even block people. You know what I’ll never do? Engage with foolishness. I never feel compelled to go back and forth with anyone, especially not a stranger I don’t even know. Why waste my time or energy? Even when people have tried to drag me into an exchange, I don’t fall for the trap.
Recently, I posted about the new pharmacist we hired at The Prescription Shoppe. Amid all the love we received for the image of four Black pharmacists who were all graduates of Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs), one gentleman tried to bring us down. He commented on both our professional and personal pages, sharing old articles from 2020 when our alma mater was struggling with accreditation issues. I could have argued with him. I could have gone back and forth to defend our credibility and our right to be celebrated. Instead, I deleted his comments and blocked him. Why? Because who is he to me? No one!
If more people took that approach instead of letting themselves get sucked into a back-and-forth, the world would be a very different place. Of course, there are times when you must speak up. I am not saying we should never stand for ourselves or our beliefs. But mudslinging exchanges only leave everyone dirty. By teaching our kids that sometimes silence speaks volumes, we can save them from unnecessary conflicts in life.
Proverbs 17:28 tells us that even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. This is a valuable lesson not just for children, but for adults too. The next time someone expresses an opinion different from your own, don’t feel obligated to respond. Save your time and energy for something that matters more and teach your kids to do the same.
Dr. Jade L. Ranger is a pharmacist at The Prescription Shoppe, a full-service pharmacy she owns with her husband. She is mom to two boys, ages 12 and 8 years old, and author of “Mustard Seed Mentality,” available at Amazon.com.