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Pasifika rugby league is already widely credited as the reverse vasectomy that aroused international rugby league from its dormancy. But for all the wonderful memories these nations have gifted us in their relatively short history, it’s time to re-evaluate their status in the game. Watch the biggest Aussie sports & the best from overseas LIVE on Kayo Sports | New to Kayo? Join now and get your first month for just $1. Any clash between nations like New Zealand, Tonga and Samoa have officially overtaken State of Origin as rugby league’s greatest spectacle, and if you disagree it’s only because you’re still in a stupor from the cracking atmosphere at Sunday’s Pacific Championship Final at CommBank Stadium. Of course, Origin isn’t going anywhere while ever it continues to spin money and send Queenslanders feral. But let’s be real; it’s gone so soft these days that it’s barely recognisable from its toe-cutting golden era when the players spoke their mind and genuinely couldn’t stand each other. Origin has become so overpoliced that the only thing close to violence is the Queenslanders furiously patting themselves on the back whenever they fleece the Blues again. While the concept once offered genuine jeopardy in both scoreboard and health, nowadays it’s so sterile that the Blues won’t even drive past the Caxton anymore. And Origin is truly on life support when it comes to the promotion of the game, with the biggest stars on media bans and nobody prepared to fire up the discourse except Aaron Woods, it’s no wonder the whole shebang has become the performative pap you’d expect on Home and Away. But as for Pasifika footy, it’s producing physicality and drama that is more like Long Bay than Summer Bay. Whether it was New Zealand’s stirring comeback at CommBank on Sunday, the scenes of chaotic joy when Tonga and Samoa clashed at Suncorp or just the titanic forward battles up the middle, Pasifika footy is everything Origin used to be. Better yet, it’s only staged preamble isn’t fought on breakfast radio, it starts with Brian To’o breakdancing on Tuesday before culminating in rousing war cries at prematch that wake every grave inside city limits. As we know, any clash involving two Polynesian nations has always been so physical that rattles the wisdom teeth of everyone in the first ten rows. However, the skill level has been elevated in recent times by an influx of quality players that is a far cry from the early days when you’d need Wikipedia close at hand. Considering they’ve got all Origin’s best players now too, Pasifika footy boasts the skill and intensity to leave the interstate classic for dead. Yes, Sunday’s fixture may have featured less bums on seats and fewer household names than a standard Origin, but Pasifika’s appeal goes deeper than ticket sales and Instagram followerships. Unlike the Blues v Maroons, their footy is an uncorrupted explosion of joyous passion and colour that doesn’t rely on one side contriving an inferiority complex and the other repeatedly choking. The footy is fast, free and frisky too, and best of all, its single-handedly revived rep footy without leaving the NRL competition in smoking ruin for 3 months every time it’s played. With Origin gluttonously swallowing everything in its path from April to August, it’s already screwing over the NRL season. This is not just due to players getting beaten up on Wednesday, but because kick off is so late nowadays they’re not returning to their clubs until halftime on Friday. On the other hand, Polynesian footy is adding to rugby league, not detracting from it. In summary, Pasifika footy has come off the back fence to flatten Origin as the best footy on the planet. It already offered bone bruising brutality, but now with relaxed eligibility laws raising the standard from three-parts fringies to a contest packed with superstars, it has elevated beyond Origin’s ageing carcass. Now let’s enjoy this wonderful footy until it’s inevitably commercialised and pushed back to an 8:23pm kick-off. - Dane Eldridge is a warped cynic yearning for the glory days of rugby league, a time when the sponges were magic and the Mondays were mad. He’s never strapped on a boot in his life, and as such, should be taken with a grain of salt.
