By Louise Alff

Copyright buffalonews

“I went to the restaurant and the hostess put me so close to the kitchen I had to wear a hairnet.” “Everyone is asking for a tip today. Before long we will be tipping the vending machines.”

All right, maybe you didn’t think these were too funny, but I hope it made you laugh a little. Who doesn’t like to laugh? Laughter lifts the spirits, bonds the community, makes warm memories and can lift the fog that may surround us.

I have three sisters and all of them have something I want. They all have the gift of laughter. Oh, yes, I laugh, but for them it comes easily. Laughter seems to have lodged in their throat and bursts forth at the slightest provocation. I love being around people like this. They help me take life less seriously. Even strangers are drawn into the laughter without even knowing the context of the conversation.

There is a commercial on TV that shows people laughing together. I haven’t a clue what they are selling but everyone is laughing with great gusto. I love to watch it – it makes me laugh, too.

Authentic laughter is part of our DNA – playing peek-a-boo will make the youngest child wiggle with delight. They find so many things that are funny – from knock-knock jokes to spilled milk. Maybe that’s why Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:14). They haven’t yet been taught the dark side of laughter. They haven’t been taught to use laughter as a tool to mock and belittle another. That is something that has to be learned.

As we grow, we learn about the dark side of laughter. We learn by watching and listening to others. We are schooled through political cartoons, hate speech, social media platforms, slogans, water cooler conversations.

We think we are laughing with a person, then we realize that we are laughing at someone. Without even realizing it, we transform our joyful laughter into shades of grey . Some people laugh not to enrich lives but to inflict pain on another, to deepen cultural divides, to break up communities. This laughter that demeans causes long-term scars that will never really be healed. We can even convince ourselves that we are justified in our actions.

I am reminded about a story of Abraham Lincoln. He was quite the storyteller and was a master at mimicking people. An incident occurred on the Senate floor between Lincoln and another senator, so Lincoln began to mimic the other senator. He was so good with his imitation that those in the chamber were in hysterics.

The senator, the object of this laughter, was visibly shaken and close to tears. He quickly left the Senate floor. Lincoln knew he had gone too far and went over to his house to apologize. He realized that this weak apology wouldn’t repair the damage that was done and promised himself that he would never do that to another human being again. His biographers said that he regretted it for the rest of his life.

When we laugh celebrating life, we leave feeling so much more alive. When we laugh to tear down or demean another we leave a little less human. Next time I feel dark laughter crossing my lips, I will try to remember this quote: “Laughter is the language of the soul.” — Pablo Neruda

May my soul have the language of love.