About 10 minutes into the new season of The Golden Bachelor, we meet Diane, a little slip of a lady in a thin-strapped red gown, with a spiky silver pixie cut, big brown eyes, and shoulders to die for. The 71-year-old, one of 23 women cast on the second season of the franchise, is there to win the heart of 66-year-old Golden Bachelor Mel Owens, a former linebacker for the Los Angeles Rams and a Detroit native. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t last too long, fighting to stand out among the many blonder and bustier contestants, and I was right—she was cut at the end of the second episode. But I keep thinking about her, and something she said during her mini-close-up, as producers let us glimpse a bit of the real lives of these older women looking for love.
As cameras capture Diane playing ice hockey, hiking, and road biking, she explains: “I like to stay active. You gotta stay busy in Alaska. You gotta keep moving. That’s another thing with aging—you know, move it or lose it.”
Move it or lose it! Truer words have never been said. Her line reminded me of something my yoga teacher, Julie, told me two years ago for this piece in Slate: “ ‘I want to move my body today’ should be the overarching goal,” she said. “Not to do a certain pose. Not to lose weight, not to live longer, not to sleep better. To move.”
I turned 50 this summer, and following this imperative to move feels more urgent than ever—not only for my body, which is changing in new and uncomfortable ways, but also for my mental health. Some weeks I nail it. I practice yoga, at home or at the studio down the street, four or five days in a row. I take decent walks. I commute via subway into the office, which gets me some steps and some IRL social interaction. But other days are like today, when the only steps I get are when I venture out to get bagels (yay carbs!) and move from my desk to my bed, where I sit, half-reclined, writing this. I struggle to push myself to do more, to move at all, even though I know that doing so will make me feel good in body and mind. I don’t need to turn back time. But I do need to be me, and that’s a moderately fit, happy person. I won’t be me if I don’t move.
So I keep thinking about Diane, who has also won three (!!!) triathlons, and the other women on The Golden Bachelor, who were recruited at least in part for their active lifestyles. (Mel told a producer that the contestants “need to be fit, because I’m staying in shape and working out and stuff.”) If in the first season we were wowed by the sight of women over 60 looking great and, well, being interesting people, in the second we can be wowed by their energy and stamina (and, it must be said, their universally great arms). Cheryl, 66, drove up to the mansion on a motorcycle and has won dozens of trophies doing motocross; Debbie, 65, is a fitness instructor who designed her own workout system (and still stars in the videos); Nicolle, 64, is a yoga teacher in Miami; Robin, 63, tap-dances; Peg, 62, is a retired firefighter and bomb technician and a former high school cheerleader who still takes dance classes. During a pool party in Episode 1, Cheryl and Peg show off their hula-hooping prowess. I was impressed!
But even the women with less-fitness-oriented résumés move in an uncreaky way that belies a commitment to regular activity. Toward the end of the double-length season premiere, the women are divided into two teams to create cheer squads and perform for Mel. It could have been a cringe activity, especially for a bunch of older ladies, but they pull it off. Auburn-haired Cindy, who is 60, brings an edge to her team; she was a professional dancer with the Dallas Mavericks 30 years ago and describes the cheer activity as “a very big treat” (not how I would have felt about it). Peg brings her moves, notably an impressive high kick. Even the uncoordinated and off-beat Amy, 63, punched her pompoms with confidence—and muscle.
The Golden Bachelor is never light on cute stuff—this has to be the sweetest reality show ever made—but this season is doing something different from simply showing older adults feeling good about themselves. They are feeling good in their bodies, as they move, as they age. It’s a subtle but new twist in this season that’s going to keep me watching, and keep me inspired. In fact, I think I’m gonna go squeeze in a yoga class right now. If I want to be like this icon, I gotta keep moving.