By Michelle Townsend
Copyright rsvplive
Meath woman Molly Carroll says living with a stoma bag has given her her power back, rather than taking it away.
Molly, 32, was diagnosed with indeterminate colitis in March 2010. This followed several trips to A&E and a diagnostic colonoscopy procedure.
When she was 17, Molly feared her life was over – but fast forward 15 years and she now works as an executive administrator, eats the foods she loves, enjoys going on hikes and to festivals and is getting married next year.
Read more: Former Offaly monk heals people with his hands and works from his pub
Read more: Dublin woman Sophie Doyle shares the lifestyle changes she made to lose 25kg
Experiencing intense illness, receiving a diagnosis and getting a stoma bag all happened in a matter of months.
Molly told RSVP Live: “Looking back I never had a great stomach, even from when I was a baby. My toilet habits were always odd, but it was never really investigated.
“It was 2010 when it really ramped up. I was just about to turn 17. It was New Year’s Eve, I was really unwell and didn’t want to go out and couldn’t put my finger on why.
“Around the February of 2010 I remember having a slightly upset stomach, but nothing too major. I was still going to school and work fine, just feeling a bit unsettled.
“It ramped up around the time I was sitting my mocks for my Leaving Cert. I was passing an alarming amount of blood, so I went to the GP a couple of times, and it was very much brushed off.
“My parents took me to A&E a couple of times because I was basically sleeping on the bathroom floor next to the toilet. It got to the point where I couldn’t leave the house.
“I eventually had a colonoscopy and the doctor said at the time it was the worst case he’d ever seen, he’d never seen anyone’s colon so ulcerated.”
Molly was kept in hospital for treatment, and although treatment for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Crohn’s and colitis has come a long way in recent years, back then she was just given steroids which weren’t doing the job they needed to.
She continued: “I was an inpatient in hospital for a couple of weeks and they started letting me home for a day to spend a few hours in my own home.
“I remember being in my mom’s bed one day and experiencing white hot pain – it felt like my body had been torn in two.
“I was so weak I couldn’t shout for her so I had to bang on the floor to get her attention. I was violently ill.”
Molly’s mum immediately brought her to hospital where she learned her bowel had perforated in two places and she had severe sepsis. Doctors had no choice but to perform stoma surgery as it was an emergency.
Molly was in hospital for just over three months and even had to learn how to walk again because she had muscle atrophy from spending so much time in bed.
“So to recap, my illness ramped up in February, I was diagnosed in March and my bowel perforated in April. It was very intense, very quickly,” she said.
Molly struggled to adapt to life with a stoma at the beginning, and she also felt self-conscious.
She said: “I had an awful time with it at the start. It’s so well managed now, but I remember thinking back then my life was over.
“I thought I’d never have a boyfriend, or wear a bikini. When you’re 17, everything like that is a big deal.
“One day I was home alone and I remember being so down and crying so much that my head hurt.”
Molly was getting fed up of constantly feeling sad and decided then she either live her life completely miserable or try to make the best of the situation.
“It’s been a long, long time since I’ve had any feeling about having to wear a bag other than being grateful,” she said.
Molly still has struggles with her physical health, but her illness is a lot more manageable these days, thanks to her stoma bag.
“Since getting the bag I’m no longer afraid to go outside. I can go on flights, on hikes, to music festivals… things I wouldn’t have been able to do beforehand,” she explained.
“So it’s definitely been a massive improvement of quality to my life. I still deal with fatigue, and unfortunately in the last couple of years I’ve also developed joint issues, so I can have flare-ups similar to arthritis.
“Luckily there are amazing medications out there so I suppose it’s not as scary. It feels more hopeful than it did years ago.
“I look at things I can do in my life and, okay, it hasn’t turned out exactly how I thought it would when I was 17 and I’ve had to make some adaptations, but when I look back to crying over my bag, I realise the things I’ve been able to do the past 15 years is because of my bag.”
Molly is now a co-facilitator of the Stoma Support Group and wants to improve there is still a full life to be lived with having a bag.
Doctors previously offered her the option to have the stoma removed, but she decided against it as she didn’t want go through more surgery.
She said: “My quality of life is very good and a lot of that is because I haven’t allowed the bag to hold me back.
“Ideally I would’ve never gotten sick at all, but had I never gotten my bag, I don’t know what way I would be mentally or physically – probably a recluse who would never leave the house.
“I know what it’s like to be devastated and feel like your life is over. But it really isn’t – it will get better. It has given me back my power, rather than taking it away.”
Marking World Stoma (Ostomy) Day, Crohn’s and Colitis Ireland will host an online talk “Breaking Barriers: Real Talk on Living with a Stoma” for people with inflammatory bowel disease. Taking place on Saturday October 4, from 12-1pm, to register, visit www.crohnscolitis.ie/members/events
