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It’s pretty sexiest at this point (Picture: Getty/Shutterstock) There’s no moment more iconic than the 1994 evening when Princess Diana stepped out in that black chiffon off-the-shoulder dress, following Prince Charles’ confession of infidelity. Her dazzling ensemble quickly became known as the Revenge Dress, a concept that has remained a staple of the public breakup for more than 30 years. Now, Lily Allen is the latest woman scorned to wear a daring outfit to snub her (allegedly) cheating ex. The singer sported a revealing two-piece to the 2025 CFDA Fashion Awards this week, just days after her explosive album, West End Girl, accused former husband David Harbour of infidelity and sex addiction. With her remarkably toned stomach and considerable underboob on full display, the singer’s ivory satin maxi skirt and thin lace crop top has been hailed by the media as a classic ‘revenge look’. But, doesn’t giving a man credit for how incredible the woman they fumbled looks feel a little bit ludicrous? Lily Allen attends the 2025 CFDA Awards in her ‘revenge’ look (Picture: XNY/Star Max/GC Images) Putting the breakup glow-up down to spite suggests our worth is tied so inherently to men that even when our wagon is no longer hitched to theirs, they still influence our every move. ‘It’s deeply sexist,’ mindset and female empowerment coach, Shauna Colaci, tells Metro. ‘The “revenge dress” narrative plays right into the idea that the world revolves around men, and even worse, leans into the tired old trope that women are vindictive, vengeful creatures. ‘In reality, post-breakup style shifts are rarely about him – they’re about her.’ Josie Hamilton Cook met her husband when she was 19 and, over the course of their 33-year relationship, realised she’d been changing herself to please him. ‘When I met him I was this girl who was a rebel, a bit different, dressed differently and, as the marriage went on, it felt like he was trying to stop me being that girl,’ the 54-year-old business owner tells Metro. ‘There was no big dramatic ending, but I began wanting to do something different with my life, and he probably tried to stop me doing that too, because I was the main breadwinner – I just outgrew him.’ Josie didn’t feel like her true self in some of her marriage (Picture: Supplied) Josie was a ‘total people pleaser’ and ‘adapted to fit in’ in her relationship, until she filed for divorce two years ago. It was over the next two years she ‘got [her] spark back’, but she’s keen to stress she had no desire to prove anything to her ex, who is now happily in a relationship with someone else. ‘[My glow up] was about my internal relationship with myself,’ says Josie. ‘I didn’t need to be vindictive, I just needed to be on my own to flourish. Sitting in that loneliness and grief has been where I’ve had my biggest growth.’ Since then, the Lincolnshire local and Rebellious Essence business owner has changed her hair and dressed more boldly to express who she truly is, along with helping other women transform in her role as an image and style consultant. ‘Now I’m independent and brave – even my parents see the difference,’ she adds. Josie has got her spark back now (Picture: Amanda Karen Photography) Mindset coach Shauna explains: ‘Many women subconsciously shrink in relationships – not just physically, but emotionally, sexually and creatively. ‘Post-breakup, it’s like oxygen floods back in. The red lip comes out, the wardrobe changes, the posture shifts. She remembers who she is. ‘Dressing becomes less about being palatable, and more about being powerful. It’s self-expression, not self-revenge.’ It rings true, given just 15% of divorced people report low self-confidence often stops them from trying new things, compared to 20% of married people, according to an Arden University study. What’s more, 57% of divorced people have an ‘inner critic’ compared to 69% of those in relationships, showing it’s not just about the clothes we wear, but the confidence we exude too. ‘The whole idea that a woman needs to dress a certain way to make a man regret losing her is not only outdated, it’s insulting,’ Shauna adds. ‘It puts him at the centre of her transformation, when really, a glow-up is about reclaiming space, power, and identity. ‘The real “revenge” isn’t in the dress – it’s in how unapologetically radiant she becomes when she’s no longer dimming herself to fit into a relationship that didn’t honour her.’ Princess Diana’s Revenge Dress may be iconic but it’s time to let the term die (Picture: Jayne Fincher/Getty Images) Take Kristen Stewart’s image overhaul after she split with her Twilight co-star boyfriend of four years, Robert Pattinson. Shedding the Bella Swan image, the actress got a bleach blonde buzz cut before coming out as queer some years later and ultimately tying the knot with wife Dylan Meyer. She now looks brighter and better than ever – and it’s challenging to see what a man has to do with that. Ultimately for men, the idea their ex-girlfriend is revenge dressing to catch their attention speaks to more to their desperation to ‘cling to a place in her story’ even after she’s moved on. Us women have bigger, hotter fish to fry. If an ex regrets losing us, that’s just a happy coincidence. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
