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Need a costume? From the CRL to Lorde to the road cone hotline – we’ve got you. If you don’t want to dress up as Leonardo DiCaprio in One Battle After Another, that scary redhead from Weapons, or a Labubu, consider something ripped from recent headlines. Simeon Brown, Chris Bishop and Christopher Luxon This costume is the embodiment of progress, policy and central government’s keen interest in Auckland’s transport network. Scissors (for cutting ribbons, or red tape) are optional. Wear a white safety helmet, $9.97, and clear safety glasses, $4.18, both from Bunnings, a high-vis jacket, $15 from Tradestaff Workwear, and don’t forget your 2026 wall planner, $3.99 from Paper Plus. Go with your buddies above but turn up late. You’ll need a big box, $10.90 from Kennards, some silver duct tape, $14.88 from Bunnings, and a bit of creativity. Seriously scary. You’ll need another big box like this one, $3.59 from The Warehouse, plus some paint, $3.25 from Kmart. A Kiwi teen While you could carry all the accoutrements of contemporary adolescence, all you really need is the right attitude. (Extension option: Find a mate with a blue morph suit and do this.) Carry $268.13 from your Jobseeker Benefit, a PlayStation controller, $124.95 from PB Tech, and an InterCity ticket from Auckland to Kaiwaka (because no buses go to Dargaville, sorry), which costs $36. Road cone hotline A good group costume, the more of you the better (plus one, and only one, person could be the sole full-time contractor of the hotline). While a “classic cone” would only set you back $43.14 + GST, it’s hard to fit into, so we recommend DIY-ing something out of cardboard and reflective tape. Another DIY option, this requires A2 orange cardboard, $3.49 from Paper Plus, an orange T-shirt, $29.95 from AS Colour, reflective tape, $12.98 from Bunnings, and a headset, $34.99 from PB Tech. As far as bare-minimum costumes go, you could do worse than a roll of duct tape. (Turns out most costumes require duct tape – who knew.) So many possibilities, like a T-Shirt, $31.95 from AS Colour, chain, $6.97 from Bunnings, Virgin, $69 from Flying Out, low-rise baggy jeans, $642 from EB Denim (she wore these in Vogue), a bikini top, $24.99 from Glassons, and a pigeon clutch, $1,850 from JW Anderson. Chris Hipkins Meld two flavours of Chippy in one look, but make sure you carry a mysterious box of unreleased policy. Wear a “business” shirt, $129 from Rembrandt, a red tie, $29.99 from Farmers, polarised sunglasses, $27 from The Warehouse, a black hoodie, $72 from AS Colour, and carry a filing box, $3.47 + GST from Office Max. Jason Gunn and Thingee Another classic couples costume, this one is in honour of the country’s long history of creating youth programming and then cancelling it. Gunn and Thingee appeared together on After School and The Son of a Gunn Show, and Jason & Thingee’s Big Adventure. (Or, since it’s Halloween you’d want to go as the most horrifying segment in the character’s TV career, even if it never actually made it to air.) Wear a yellow T-shirt, $11.86 from Blank Tees, or a striped rugby jersey, $57.89 from Clothing Direct, get crafty with a vivid, $3.50, and table tennis balls, $7, both from The Warehouse, and a honeydew melon, $9.29 from New World, can substitute for a priceless moa egg. Judith Collins You’ll want to find a designer jacket, ideally blue, from the likes of Trelise Cooper (a brand Collins has favoured in the past) accessorised with a strand of her signature knotted pearls (an easy DIY job) or, if you’re after a another authentic option, a model helicopter. Trelise Cooper jacket, $50 from Trade Me, necklace four-pack, $2 from Look Sharp, “World Peacekeepers Combat Helicopter”, $69.99 from Toyworld, and a lever arch file, $6 from The Warehouse Window and crowbar A smashingly topical costume idea. If authenticity is your thing, hop onto Facebook Marketplace and find an empty window frame – there are even some free ones in Taupaki – otherwise go hard with a craft knife, ruler and cardboard box (probably safer and more comfortable). It goes without saying that this needs to be accessorised with a crowbar for context, though as these could be deemed “offensive weapons” under the Crimes Act 1961, you might want to DIY that out of cardboard too. Please don’t carry a Stanway Crow Bar 1200mm Blue, $117 from Mitre 10. Robbie Nicol Gloriously simple given the familiarity of local legend and explainer extraordinaire Robbie Nicol. Real ones will get it. You’ll need (Robbie approved) “Business Man” Moustache, $2.50 from Look Sharp, a vintage Polo Ralph Lauren shirt, $22 from Trade Me, HB pencil, $1.25 from The Warehouse, wireless microphone, $75 from PB Tech, and a stackable mug, $4.66 from Southern Hospitality Don McGlashan and Chris Bishop Another couples option (and one for the Bishopheads), this requires two Aotearoa Music Awards invitations, a Pet-era Fur Patrol T-shirt, which is hard to come by (not even on the band’s merch page), although if you can squeeze into the kid version that might be an option. Otherwise there’s always DIY, which you can also deploy for a 7” of Blam Blam Blam’s seminal 1981 hit single. Squeeze into a Giant Bunny Kids T-Shirt, $40 from Fur Patrol Bandcamp, pop in some reading glasses, $19.99 from Farmers, spray a bit of Nishman Pro-Mech, $8.99 from Chemist Warehouse, and get inspired by ‘There Is No Depression In New Zealand’ by Blam Blam Blam (sold out), Relicsmusic.co.nz. Dunedin vampire A good one for Ōtepoti readers, though Ruthven Allimrac is recognisable enough after running for mayor of Dunedin City Council that anyone with a passing interest in local body elections (which really should be everyone) will get it. And if not, you look like a vampire, which is fine. Pick up some face and body paint, $4 from Kmart, fangs, $4.50 from Spotlight, and red glasses, $2.50 from Look Sharp. Ruth Richardson With parliamentary dress codes in the news (again) and Juggernaut 2 imminent, pop on a tracksuit and crunch some numbers for the mother of all budgets (scary!!!). You’ll need a shell suit, like this one for $72.95 from The Warehouse, and a calculator, $8.50 from Kmart. Swing voter Do you own a morph suit? With the simple addition of a rope, you could be transformed into the most sought-after voting bloc in the land. Get some paracord, $12.58 from Mitre 10. A pussy and a pair of tits Depending on execution, this works for a couple, threesome or those going stag, and is instantly recognisable for all followers of political figures making embarrassing gaffes. DIY a T-shirt, like this one for $41.95 from AS Colour, and pick up a latex cat mask, $25 from Look Sharp.
