By Zach Dean

Copyright outkick

Middle Hump Day of September? Don’t mind if I do. We’re cruising along right now. It’s been a quieter week, which has been nice. My Dolphins are about to get embarrassed on Thursday Night Football, so I’m trying to soak it all in today. Tomorrow’s gonna be a rough one. But today? Today, we respect Hump Day. Let’s get to it. Welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – the one where we say a prayer for Kristin Cavallari’s top button, and go from there. What else? I’ve got Jimmy Kimmel and the media being even more insufferable than I imagined – which is saying something – a Spirit Airlines pilot falling asleep at the wheel, and the best form-tackle you’ve ever seen … from a MOM. If the Dolphins showed even half of this technique, maybe they’d have a puncher’s chance tomorrow night. What a hit! Grab you something to successfully get you over the hump, and settle in for a Hump Day ‘Cap! What a DAY for ABC! I don’t love starting my favorite class of the week with the insufferable pricks over at ABC, but Jimmy and Co. have left me no choice. Look, it’s been a week since Charlie Kirk was murdered. Hard to believe, right? It’s, frankly, more disgusting today than it was last week when it happened. Naturally, that’s because we’ve learned more about the scumbag who took him out. Shockingly, he’s a real piece of work. And by that, I mean he is exactly who we all thought he was the second Charlie went down. Despite, of course, what the wackos at ABC – led by Jimmy Kimmel – try to tell you: Wanna get away? (Yes, I know that’s Southwest, but you see what I did there) I mean, it’s just so pathetic. I honestly don’t know which is worse. Actually, yes I do. It’s Kimmel. It’s always Kimmel. The guy is such a prick, I don’t even know where to begin. This is why nobody watches Late Night TV anymore. Because scumbags like Jimmy Kimmel spew flat-out lies night in and night out. Seriously, HOW does ABC let this happen? If I came on here, and just lied to my audience – knowingly lied – then I would expect to be fired. I would. And I’d accept it. Jimmy Kimmel knows what he’s saying is bullshit. He knows it’s completely wrong. But, what do I always say about the left? They do not care. They don’t care. They know they’re lying. They themselves don’t believe the nonsense they say. But it fits a narrative. It fits the narrative they desperately want in this country. So, they just lie. As for the other ABC clown … that doesn’t even surprise me. That’s called Tuesday for ABC. Romanticizing a cold-blooded killer? Come on. That’s Lefty Media 101. Inject all the red pills in the world straight into my veins. There truly aren’t enough of them after this past week. OK, let’s go ahead and send both those clowns onto a Spirit flight and see how they like it! Chiefs, Brittany, Kristin & what a TACKLE! Amazing. Spirit is the Wild Wild West, boys and girls. When you book your flight on those bright yellow planes, you better come prepared and with your game face on. You could see a fight or three. You could see someone lashing out at the gate attendant. You will almost certainly pay for a Wifi service that won’t work. It never, ever works. It’s incredible. But, there’s also a good chance your ass is getting to your destination on time. Spirit will fly through ANYTHING. Anything. Low-budget airlines have a bottom line to hit, and they’re gonna do their damnedest to hit it every single time. Nothing is getting in their way. Not a hurricane. Not the President of the United States. So, of course, this was a Spirit plane and pilot that pissed off the ATC for getting a little too close to Air Force One. I wouldn’t expect anything different. Speaking of planes … let’s rapid-fire this Hump Day into a Hump Night: We in or we out on this crash-proof plane prototype coming out of India? What could go wrong? Honestly, though, I might be in. You all know how much I hate flying. It’s why I spent all of last year trying to bring back the road trip. If you tell me my plane is locked and loaded with big ass airbags that will deploy upon impact, at least it’ll give us a shot at survival. Now, it’s all AI operated, which will almost certainly spell trouble. What happens when the dumb robots accidentally deploy these things at 30,000 feet? I don’t trust self-driving cars, and I certainly wouldn’t trust AI sensors to know when shit is about to hit the fan. Let’s keep workshopping this, fellas. It’s a good start, though. Next? I know we have a large contingent of Chiefs fans in class, so let’s go ahead and check in with Pat Mahomes (happy birthday, BTW!) and company after their 0-2 start: What? Who gave the OK on that tweet? The Chiefs – the standard of the NFL for years now – are now posting about holding the Eagles to their “lowest offensive output” since 2021? What’s happening here? Don’t love the direction this team is headed. Tony Romo must be BESIDE himself today. Good thing they have Brittany Mahomes to lift spirits! That’s our girl! KC gets the Giants this week. Feels like a get-right game. Brittany’s ready to rock and roll. Good luck, Russ. His ass better hope this UNIT ain’t on the field Sunday night! No idea how old this is. No idea when it happened, where it happened, or who this Hall of Famer is. But I’m all in. Let’s get this clip in high school film rooms across the country STAT. Absolute perfect form. Kept the feet moving, finished the tackle, didn’t get a penalty, didn’t put her head at risk. Just textbook stuff. OK, that’s it for today. Good middle Hump Day of September. Let’s have a strong second half of the week. Take us there, Kristin Cavallari! OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots). You ever fly Spirit? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.