By David Marchese

Copyright abc

What goes through your mind when a doctor reveals to you that you’ve got stage 4 cancer?

Jordan Brunoli’s initial reaction, he admits, was awful.

“I was like, ‘Hell yeah, I get some time off work,'” the Bugs bassist tells triple j hack in his first interview since his diagnosis earlier this year.

“I was just so burnt out from general life stuff and immediately switched to downplaying it in my mind.

“But five seconds after that I was like, ‘that’s ridiculous, I’m too young.'”

Now 30, Jordan is one part of the Bugs trio that also includes singer Connor Brooker and drummer Brock Weston.

The band’s announcement of Jordan’s terminal diagnosis earlier this year sent shock waves through the Australian music community.

“I actually wasn’t going to tell anyone except for maybe a couple of close friends,” he admits.

“But I think I was convinced by Brock and Con to make it public.”

A sold-out fundraising concert in Jordan’s honour is being held in Brisbane this weekend.

‘You’re being pushy’

While the cancer came as a surprise to Jordan, he had known something was wrong for months.

“There was blood in my stool occasionally … lethargy and general tiredness,” he said.

“I was getting a lot of hectic stomach pain.”

The pain was so bad that Jordan was taking time off work.

He remembers keeling over in agony and being unable to move for hours.

But despite his alarming symptoms, blood tests came back clear and Jordan’s doctor insisted it was nothing serious.

“It’s a virus, it’s a virus. Don’t worry, it’ll go away in a couple of weeks,” he recalls his doctor told him.

“Advocating for yourself in a doctor’s office is difficult as a young person.”

After several visits, Jordan had had enough. He remembers feeling “panicked” that he wasn’t being listened to.

“He was a bit dismissive when I asked for things … telling me I was being pushy.

“I thought, ‘screw this, like I genuinely feel f***ed’, and I knew there was something wrong with me.”

Jordan got a second opinion from another doctor, and before long, had his cancer diagnosis.

He says he doesn’t hold any ill will towards that first doctor, but wonders what might have been different if he had been listened to earlier.

He is pleading with young Australians to take their health seriously.

“If I’d seen a doctor previously, maybe the outcome would be different.

“Advocate for yourself with the doctor and if they don’t give you what you want, go see a new doctor.”

The new normal

Of concern, Jordan’s experience is becoming more common among young Australians.

Australia has the highest rate of bowel cancer in the world, with the risk of being diagnosed under the age of 40 doubling since the year 2000.

Jordan’s cancer has spread to his liver and lymph nodes.

He has already had major surgery, removing about 50 per cent of his bowel, and now has a permanent stoma.

“At least I’ve saved some time sitting on the toilet!” he laughs.

“It is what it is.”

An intense chemotherapy regimen has also been a huge adjustment, with Jordan admitting he has struggled with skin reactions, especially on his hands.

He has also experienced brittle hair, pins and needles, and fatigue, but says he’s thankful to have escaped any serious nausea.

He has been told he will be on chemotherapy for the rest of his life.

It could happen at any time

When asked about his prognosis, Jordan pauses.

He has recently had some hard news from his oncologist.

“That was tough. There was silence in the room.”

He says he has struggled with feelings of anger and isn’t afraid to admit he’s scared.

“I’m constantly thinking tomorrow might be the day when my liver just gives up and I get jaundiced and drop dead.

“It could happen at any time, which is terrifying.”

But Jordan says the fear has also been liberating.

“You kind of live life like you’re going to die and just do the things that make you happy.

“Finding peace with the fact that time might be limited … and it’s not my fault.”

Australian music rallies

For now, Jordan’s focus is the big fundraising gig that’s being held in his honour in Brisbane this weekend.

Tickets for ‘Saving a Bug’s Life’ sold out soon after going on sale, with acts including DZ Deathrays, Beddy Rays and Hope D turning out to perform.

Bugs will also be on stage, although Jordan admits he’s nervous.

“The outpouring of support from bands has been unlike anything I’ve ever seen,” he said.

“I can’t thank everyone enough.”

Jordan was initially against the idea of a fundraiser, but was convinced by friends that it would help his quality of life, as he’s unsure how much longer he and his partner George will be able to keep working.

“It’s helping me with groceries, stoma supplies and little things like that.

“It’s just one less thing I have to worry about and I can focus on recovery and healing.”

Music as therapy

The one constant in Jordan’s life is his music.

He lets slip that Bugs is working on some new material and says his health means it will sound different from their lighter music of earlier years.

He describes it as “therapy” on days when he needs to get the noise out of his head.

“Especially when I’m really down, I’ll just play guitar as much as my fingers will allow.

“I’m never gonna give that up.