Copyright Vulture
It’s time to admit a hard truth: This season of The Real Housewives of Miami was the worst since the series returned from its long hiatus in 2021. Lisa Hochstein and Larsa Pippen, two eyebrows on the same mannequin, got embroiled in a silly and never-ending fight; Alexia Nepola railed against a man we knew she was getting back with; Guerdy Abraira was shunned for speaking up against being assaulted; and newbie Stephanie Shojaee nattered on about her private plane with hardly an ally on the cast outside of Larsa, who was only in it for the plane. But, worst of all, it didn’t seem like any of the ladies were having fun anymore. Maybe it’s because they’ve gotten too used to each other, and we all know the old adage about what familiarity breeds. This is a cast that, aside from Dr. Nicole Martin being replaced by Stephanie this season, has gone unchanged for four seasons. It’s time for a little shake-up to make way for some new faces who will complicate the standing order and bring some joy back to the group. And in order to achieve that, we need to get rid of the person who has outlived her usefulness, whose temper has turned the mood dark, and who fans have turned against. We need to get rid of Julia Lemigova. This sentiment has been brewing since well before Julia’s last-ditch attempt to salvage her story line with her reunion revelation about her and Adriana de Moura’s past dalliances. One of the biggest recent complaints against Julia has to do with her wife, tennis legend Martina Navratilova, with some fans suggesting Julia should be fired over Martina’s critical comments about trans women participating in sports and surrogacy, the latter of which Andy Cohen himself called “ill-informed and dumb,” and even Julia has tried to distance herself from. Should these things factor into whether fans like Martina or not? Of course! But if we start firing Housewives for things their terrible spouses have done, it will be pink slips all around. Julia also got heat for her own behavior this season courtesy of the glass of water she emptied on Guerdy at Marysol’s umpteenth wedding celebration. Then a handy-dandy montage at the reunion featuring Julia throwing an ice bucket at Marysol Patton in season four and unseen footage of her throwing a chair at Dr. Nicole’s Mamacita party in season six confirmed that Julia is, in fact, an inveterate thrower of things. In a franchise built on table flips and wine tosses, this alone is not enough to warrant termination; the real problem with the water throwing is what happened with Guerdy after. When the rest of the cast didn’t take her anger at Julia seriously, she got up and displayed their texts on a screen at her event, which essentially got Guerdy placed in the naughty corner for the rest of the season. The fallout from the water throwing gets closest to the real reason Julia needs to go, which is ultimately a much more common and mundane Housewife downfall: Her story has run its course. Much like late-era Victoria Denise Gunvalson Jr., Danielle Staub at the end of her return, and Dorinda Medley at her meanest, a once-great Housewife has become a sinister force of conflict and a drag on the group dynamic. When Julia started, she was Adriana’s bestie, literally getting down on one knee to propose being BFFs forever. She was a little rough around the edges and seemingly more interested in her farm than in stirring up drama with the other more experienced reality stars. She was kooky, off-kilter, and a different flavor of narcissist from the rest of the South Floridian glamour-pusses. During her tenure on the show, that seems to have changed and she’s emerged an opera-singing diva just as interested in her clothes and hair as she is in her organic eggs. Not that I’m against Housewives evolving, but Julia’s transformation goes hand in hand with the show’s stagnation this season. Ever since RHOM’s triumphant return, the show was fueled by a power struggle between the old and the new. On one side were returning players Marysol, Alexia, Lisa, and Larsa, and on the other were the newcomers they didn’t want to accept: Guerdy, Dr. Nicole, and Julia. Then there was Adriana, who had to bring Julia onto the show in order to secure her return slot after burning bridges with everyone during her original run. Since her blood feud with Marysol, and thereby Alexia, will never be resolved, she had to align herself with the newbies. Julia and Adriana became something of the anti-Alexia and Marysol, just like Adriana and Lea Black were during the show’s initial run. Where Alexia and Marysol were haughty shit-stirrers intent on gatekeeping, Julia and Adriana were the goofy and outlandish upstarts barking at the gate. Even when they were wrong, like when Adriana made comments about Alexia’s son, they were agents of change worth rooting for. With this current season, however, Julia has switched sides, cozying up to Alexia and Marysol, stoking Alexia’s mounting tensions with Stephanie, and transforming into an antagonist against her former friends Guerdy and Adriana. This came at the same time that Dr. Nicole opted not to film (due to Marysol-related reasons) and Guerdy was (wrongly) ostracized. The resistance, as it were, had crumbled. Just as Adriana falling out with Lea left Alexia and Marysol victorious after season three, her falling out with Julia has done the same now. (You know what they say about history and repeating.) After the reunion, Stephanie is also on good terms with them, and Guerdy doesn’t seem to want Adriana’s help going against her attackers. This is all going to make for terrible group dynamics next season. Guerdy faded into the background in the second half of the season and doesn’t seem to want to fight without backup. (Based on how she was railroaded at the reunion by the rest of the cast and basically told to get over it, I wouldn’t want to either.) Adriana is still only a “friend of,” and without any friends left on the cast, who is even going to invite her to film? Maybe Stephanie, but that’s her only hope, and that will probably evaporate if things stay good weather between Stephanie and the Cuban bros. This is the real reason that Julia has to go, to make way for some new cast who will help shake up the old order like Stephanie did back when she wasn’t too keen on Alexia and Marysol. Guerdy needs an ally in the cast, someone who will support her as she takes on everyone else. (I would love for it to be Dr. Nicole, but that ship may have already sailed from the private dock at her $34 million mansion.) Stephanie could also use some support, maybe a little sidekick who will help her explore the hatred she expressed for Marysol. What we don’t need is another person who is going to blindly have Alexia’s back. What we don’t need is Julia. The sad reality of getting rid of Julia, however, is that would probably mean Adriana, who is more of a fan favorite than ever, gets the heave-ho as well. As mentioned above, without Julia around and no true friends on the cast, what is the point of Adriana? She won’t alter her thinking on Alexia and Marysol, Larsa doesn’t trust her, and Lisa, while a friend, seems to be keeping her at arm’s length. (Maybe that’s because there is no truer adversary or dirtier fighter than Adriana.) Keeping one without the other seems useless, but keeping both of them seems like an impasse waiting to happen. Adriana doesn’t get over anything, and Julia hasn’t shown herself quick to forgive, either. After Julia outed their affair in the one true bombshell of the season and Adriana wowed everyone by bringing up a Haitian mortician who got a free coffee maker (an excellent Halloween costume, BTW), the next season will just be the two of them sniping and shouting. Adriana will call Julia names and initiate some stunt that won’t firmly land. Julia will snipe right back and, if history is any indication, probably start throwing things. This will start a merry-go-round we’ll never get off of, much like Larsa and Lisa this season. RHOM has been coasting on its perfect comeback for a while, but this season revealed why it’s time for a bit of fresh blood, some new dynamics, and the kind of casting switch-up that gives our favorite shows their longevity. Since the opposition to the existing order has failed, it’s time to bring in a new opposition, and if those women don’t have spouses with ill-informed and dumb political views or a propensity to express their emotions through projectiles, then all the better.
