Copyright /FILM
Somehow, despite a firm appreciation of Arnold Schwarzenegger movies from the 1980s and a love for all kinds of science fiction cheese, I had never seen "The Running Man." (Well, in the sake of transparency: I watched it in 2020 after having a few adult beverages and I couldn't remember a single thing about it and only even realized I had watched it upon checking Letterboxd, so ... close enough.) With Edgar Wright's new adaptation of the novel by Stephen King (written under the pen name Richard Bachman), it seemed like a perfect time to finally check this one off of my to-watch list. King apparently couldn't stand the 1987 adaptation from director Paul Michael Glaser, who's best known for playing Starsky on the original "Starsky & Hutch" TV series, because it deviated too far from his serious sci-fi novel, and it's kind of hard to blame him. Sure, "The Running Man" is a lot of fun, with some absolutely ludicrous visuals and a couple of great moments, but it mostly feels like a Paul Verhoeven knock-off with lots of violence but no actual bite. Maybe the reason I couldn't remember watching it has less to do with the rum consumed and more to do with the fact that "The Running Man" just isn't all that memorable? There's plenty of potential there, with some great character actors rounding out the cast and Arnold in peak 1980s physique doing ridiculous action bits, but it never quite comes together like it should. There's a reason it's not usually listed among the best Schwarzenegger flicks, no matter how much of a cult classic it might have become. In "The Running Man," Schwarzenegger plays Ben Richards, a police officer who is framed for opening fire on civillians during a "food riot," despite having been the only officer in his squad to actively resist hurting innocents. He ends up being turned into the authorities by Amber (María Conchita Alonso), a composer for the broadcast company who he briefly kidnaps while on the run, and he ends up being put on the television show "The Running Man," which features convicts trying to run for their lives from "stalkers," souped-up assassins who are kind of like dystopian action heroes for the world's audience. There are many social and political commentaries in both the novel and movie about police corruption, the commodification of violence, and more, but the 1987 movie glosses over most of that in favor of one-liners and explosions. Some of those one-liners work, but there are so many that a large number of them do not. While Wright's "The Running Man" adaptation also looks to be a lot less serious than the novel upon which it's based, it also looks a tiny bit smarter than the 1987 adaptation, which has plenty of great set pieces but not a whole lot of deep thought involved. The '87 version is more like the 1975 version of "Rollerball" meets "American Gladiators," with commercials straight out of "RoboCop" sprinkled in for flavor. It's good dumb fun, but that's about it, and it deviates quite a bit from the source material. The one thing it does have going for it, however, are the amazing little old ladies peppered throughout. The biggest surprise in "The Running Man" was how entertaining the studio audience for the game show would be, as it's comprised mostly of middle-aged suburbanites and little old ladies. While Richards and the other contestants in the Running Man game show run and fight for their lives, we frequently cut back to host Damon Killian (Richard Dawson) interviewing audience members for their input. He asks them who they're rooting for, and seeing these seemingly sweet ladies get hyped up for psycho killers with names like Buzzsaw and Fireball is truly something. One standout is the late, great Lynne Marie Stewart of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" fame, who cheers on Subzero (Professor Toru Tanaka) because she likes "my men big and cuddly!" Another is Agnes, played by Barbara Lux, who says she wants to vote for Richards despite his being a runner because "That boy's one mean motherf***er," which is absolutely hilarious. While it might be a little disappointing that "The Running Man" doesn't do more with its premise and is instead a double-cheese stuffed crust pizza, it's still pretty darn entertaining. Tanaka, Yaphet Kotto, Erland van Lidth, football star Jim Brown, and future Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura all play their stalker characters with perfect pro-wrestling heel flair, and Dawson is a delight as the wicked Killian. Is "The Running Man" good? That's kind of hard to say, but if you're looking for a fun way to spend your afternoon, you could certainly do worse.
