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If you were to use popular culture as your guide to romantic relationships, it is almost exclusively focused on the search for ‘the one’. That is, finding – and keeping – the person in your life who can meet all your needs for emotional and physical intimacy. But what if that notion of choosing just one person to be our everything for life is where we’re going wrong? What if the key to a sustained and meaningful relationship lies in finding more than one person to meet those needs as we grow and change? While there’s not a lot of data available locally, a survey by Relationships Australia found that 6 per cent of respondents had been in an open relationship, with higher rates reported among younger people. Sydney-based counsellor and relationship therapist Samantha Forbes specialises in open and polyamorous relationships and says they can take many forms, depending on what a couple agrees upon. However, the two most common are sexually open but emotionally monogamous relationships where you agree you can have sex with others but maintain your primary emotional relationship, and polyamorous relationships where you agree you can have multiple romantic partners at both a sexual and emotional level. The kind of open relationship will differ for each couple but, before even starting a discussion, Forbes says it’s worth doing a little self-reflection first.
