By Nicholas Werner
Copyright jalopnik
It’s hard being in space. You’re isolated from friends and loved ones, your mitochondria get damaged, you get dumber, and you might just get stranded for months at a time (and get under $1,500 for it). Oh, and according to a study just published, your critically important stem cells become insomniacs, which causes you to start turning into the virus your most distant ancestors once contracted. Yes, space turns you into a zombie. But at least the view is good.
A team of scientists from the University of California San Diego published their findngs in the journal Cell Stem Cell. Essentially, they found that space was a stressful environment, which they might have learned from watching any “Alien” movie. Being in Earth orbit, with its microgravity and cosmic radiation, keeps our stem cells stressed constantly. Our stem cells normally want to sleep 80% of the time, the study’s lead author, Catriona Jamieson, told CNN. But once woken up by the revalation that something’s not right (they’re in space), they just can’t fall back to sleep. I have never related to a cell harder.
Just like you and me, the sleep-deprived stem cells become exhausted and unable to function properly. That means they can’t do their jobs, which involve reproducing other, more specialized cells like bone marrow. Without that work being done in your body, you basically just age faster. In fact, Jamieson told NBC News, your stem cells age “ten times faster in space than on the ground.”
Wow, that all sounds pretty bad. We haven’t even gotten to the part when the virus inside your own DNA turns you into a zombie.
