Copyright The Mercury News
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a man with curly hair. A year ago, I decided to grow it out. Today I went in for a haircut. I told the barber that I was growing it “classical musician” long, but that I needed the bottom of the back trimmed up. I expected it could use a little bit of shaping up all over, as well. When he was finished and turned me around so that I could see it, my hair was short. As in, the back was a quarter-inch long. I was stunned. Without comment, I paid him (including the tip). I am beyond frustrated. Is there anything I could have said or done? GENTLE READER: After the deed was done, no. But next time — at a different barber’s — you might wish to pay more attention while the operation is in progress. Miss Manners suspects some other distraction was at play — a phone, perhaps, or the classical music on the salon speakers. The lack of direct access to a mirror does not, by itself, explain why one would not notice all that hair cascading onto the floor. She does not mean to be unsympathetic, but not everything in life has an undo button. DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work for a midsized company that has a centralized administrative office, in addition to locations where we do field work. I am part of the administration, and work permanently from my office. The unwritten policy is that we leave our office doors open, although we are allowed to close them for short periods if we are on the phone or need to work uninterrupted. There is a conference room directly beside my office that is utilized multiple times daily. Before and after these meetings, people will congregate in the hallway in front of my office door to talk. Occasionally someone will even lean on my doorjamb with their backside in my office. The conversations are loud enough to be disruptive, even if I am wearing headphones, and they are also blocking my exit path if I were to leave for any reason. Sometimes these conversations will last in excess of 10 or 15 minutes. I cannot ask the meeting participants to go somewhere else, because they are project managers, department VPs, clients and the HR department with prospective employees. Would it be rude of me to get up and gently close my door while they are standing there conversing? Or is it better to just grin and bear it? GENTLE READER: To answer your question, it’s worth examining why you cannot just (politely) ask these people to gather farther away. It should not be because they outrank you, but rather because what they are doing is (or is presumed to be) in furtherance of company business. For the same reason, not only can you gently close your door so as to be more productive, but Miss Manners would think less of any boss who thought less of you for doing so. Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
