Delivering feedback as a leader can feel challenging, but with the right training and awareness, you can set yourself up for success. In this article, industry leaders share the common mistakes they’ve observed and practical tips that can help you communicate feedback more effectively and constructively to foster a more productive work environment.
Focus on Behavior, Not Character
When feedback judges the individual—and not the action—a poor outcome is almost guaranteed. “You’re not a team player” is an example of feedback that makes an assertion about a person’s character. The receiver of this feedback is likely to experience a “fight, flight, or freeze” response because the feedback conversation has just become deeply personal. As a result, the feedback will not be heard by the receiver and therefore misses the opportunity to promote learning, growth, or improvement. Moreover, the leader has lost trust and credibility with the receiver when a different approach could have strengthened the relationship.
Conversely, when feedback focuses on the observable behavior and the impact of that behavior—and not the individual’s character, personality, or worth—the conversation looks and feels different. For example: “In today’s meeting, you talked over your colleagues on three separate occasions,” gives the receiver the context for the feedback and the observable behavior. “The effect was that half of the team stopped participating, which means we’re missing their input and we aren’t creating the conditions for our best work,” describes the impact of that behavior on the organization. When the feedback is behavior-focused, the receiver is better positioned to stay open to the message and is more likely to understand how to change their behavior in the future.
Nancy McGuire Choi, Chief Operating Officer, The Nebo Company
Subscribe to the Daily newsletter.Fast Company’s trending stories delivered to you every day
Privacy Policy
|
Fast Company Newsletters
Use the ‘SBI-A’ Model for Effective Feedback
Delivering difficult feedback is one of the most common skills we are brought in to teach leaders. A common mistake I see leaders make when delivering feedback is relying on the outdated “sandwich method” where they wrap constructive criticism between two pieces of praise. While it might feel kinder, in practice it often backfires. Unskilled leaders end up glazing over the constructive feedback and confusing people about the real message, making it seem like the issue isn’t a big deal.
A far more effective strategy is the SBI-A model: Situation, Behavior, Impact, Alternative. Start by describing the situation and the specific behavior you observed. Do not assume you know their intention. Then, explain the impact of that behavior on the team, the work, or the organization. You may offer them a chance to explain their intention. Finally, offer an alternative for how the situation could be approached differently in the future.
SBI-A Example:
Situation: “In yesterday’s team meeting . . .”
Behavior: “. . . you interrupted two colleagues before they finished sharing their points.”
Impact: “When that happened, others shut down and we lost potentially valuable contributions.”
Alternative: “Next time, please try to pause and let others finish before jumping in with your perspective.”
This method keeps feedback specific, actionable, and free from mixed messages.
Bailey Parnell, Founder & CEO, SkillsCamp
Adopt Data-Driven Framework to Externalize Feedback
The most damaging mistake leaders make when delivering feedback is emotional transference. This happens when the leader, feeling anxious or uncomfortable about the potential for conflict, unconsciously makes the feedback about their own feelings rather than the employee’s growth. Instead of a calm, objective conversation, it becomes an emotional event where the employee is forced to manage not only the feedback but also the leader’s discomfort. The focus shifts from the employee’s behavior to the leader’s emotional state, which immediately triggers defensiveness and erodes trust while eliciting in many cases an emotional response from the employee.
The most practical tip to avoid this is to adopt a simple, data-driven framework that externalizes the feedback, making it objective and actionable. One way to think about this is, “Beyond the emotions, you are okay, don’t shrink from action.” I also recommend the SBI-A Model to help with this.
Ultimately, this structure allows a leader to live the principle that clarity is kindness. By providing a clear, factual account of the situation, the behavior, and its impact, you give your employee the gift of awareness and a clear choice about the impact they want to create going forward. You owe that to your people, to lead.
Beverly Flores, Founder & CEO, Thyme Out Consulting
Balance Empathy and Directness in Feedback
A common pitfall when providing feedback is failing to strike a balance between being empathetic and direct. To address this issue, I’ve adopted the radical candor approach, which has now become integral to my company’s culture. It helps find the middle ground between ignoring people’s feelings, which only strengthens misunderstandings, and being overly concerned about the emotional side, which may prevent one from actually communicating change and creating an environment for growth.
We have an internal saying that reflects our culture: every team member can take any feedback but strives to provide the best possible. In this equation, “the best possible” stands for honest, detailed, and thoughtful feedback, and should not, in any case, be mistaken for merely pleasant enough to avoid conflict.
The game changer for any leader is also being ready to ask for and receive feedback before giving it to the team. Such a first step boosts trust and maximizes the value of any input that follows. This approach also contributes to a leader-leader model, empowering everyone, regardless of their role, to contribute ideas, drive innovation, learn from mistakes, take 100% responsibility for the results, and choose an “intend to” perspective instead of waiting for instructions.
Anton Pavlovsky, Founder and CEO, Headway Inc
Allow Time for Reflection Before Correction
The greatest feedback mistake that leaders make is addressing issues on the spot rather than hearing the person out first during emotional moments. When a caregiver commits a mistake, healthcare managers tend to move directly to corrective action, which leads to defensiveness that inhibits learning. Military aviation led me to understand that debriefing is more effective than on-the-job correction since individuals require time to digest what occurred before they can internalize instructions.
The best way to provide feedback is by requesting the individual to discuss their thought process before you give them your observations. When a nurse makes a wrong decision when prescribing medication, the prompt, “Walk me through your decision-making,” will help identify a lack of knowledge, system malfunction, or external factors. This approach has helped us retain 34% more of our staff in 18 months since employees feel that they are heard and not judged.
Stephen Huber, President and Founder, Home Care Providers
Address One Issue at a Time
The most frequent fault that I commit as a leader is that I often present feedback in the form of a performance audit rather than a conversation. I will sit down with someone and lay out a laundry list of problems, throwing everything out there simultaneously regardless of the context or time.
I learned this lesson the hard way at the beginning of my career with a junior developer who failed to meet project deadlines. Rather than addressing the pattern in the moment, I accumulated all the missed deadlines to review during our monthly check-in. Both of us got bogged down in the conversation, and nothing fruitful was achieved.
My practical trick: The rule of one thing. Identify which single issue is the most significant and should be addressed, then talk about it within 48 hours of realizing it happened. Do not use the feedback sandwich technique.
Here is what works: “I observed that the API documentation for the client project was three days late. Can you explain to me how that happened so that we can avoid this in the future?” Then be quiet and listen.
This short-term intensive approach has reshaped my team’s response to directions. The reality is that people actually make changes because they are not overwhelmed by several areas of improvement in parallel. The discussion is not controlling, and each problem is solved before it escalates to more serious issues.
Rahul Jaiswal, Project Manager, Geeks Programming
Transform Feedback into Two-Way Conversations
One common mistake I see leaders make is treating feedback as a one-time “download” instead of a two-way conversation. Sometimes leaders deliver feedback as a type of verdict, something they need to get through quickly, versus an opportunity to build trust, alignment, and growth. If the leader’s feedback feels transactional, the employee’s curiosity and motivation shut down, which makes their morale plummet.
A practical tip: Shift from “performance policing” to “partnership.” Instead of telling someone what they did wrong, frame feedback as a two-way exploration. “Here’s what I noticed. How did it feel from your side?” This simple shift transforms feedback into a two-way conversation that helps the other person feel seen and engaged in cocreating the path forward. It builds trust, alignment, and growth, and increases performance, morale, and retention.
Anu Mandapati, CEO, Qultured
Connect Feedback to Future Growth
One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is delivering feedback without pointing to the real issue and without connecting that issue to the future. Too often, feedback gets stuck in the past, focused on what went wrong as opposed to being framed as an act of service to help someone grow. Leaders may avoid conflict, downplay their message, or fail to highlight the one key behavior that needs to change to drive progress.
However, people care about their growth, their development, and their impact. That’s why effective feedback must be more than vague commentary. It should be grounded in direct observation, placed in context, and connected to future outcomes. Done well, feedback answers three questions for the person receiving it: Why does this matter? Why should I care? And how will this help me develop? When leaders approach feedback this way, they transform it from a judgment about the past into a catalyst for growth and impact.
advertisement
Dr. Isabel Bilotta, Director, People & Performance, Deutser
Provide Clear Accountability in Feedback
A big mistake that I see leaders make, including myself, is providing feedback without accountability. Let’s say a direct report comes to you to tell you that they’ve completed a particular task, you have a look, and see that there are problems. Maybe those problems can be regarded as errors, or maybe you’ve seen what they’ve accomplished, love it, and want them to continue. Doesn’t matter.
When providing feedback or other guidance, a good leader makes sure to include the who, what, and when. Who should do the work? What should that work entail? And when should it be completed?
The “who” when you’re meeting with someone one-on-one is usually evident, but not always. Some leaders have a habit of speaking very passively and use language like, “We should be sure to do X, Y, and Z,” without clarifying who “we” is. Simple fix: change “we” to “you.”
The “what” is usually pretty well-defined, too, but not always. A manager who says, “I’d like to see improvement in how you do X,” should be more specific. Better to say, “I’m glad that you’re making 40 sales calls a week, but I need that to be 60.”
The “when” is very often forgotten. To the manager, it might seem obvious: as soon as practicable or even possible. But that begs the question of what is practicable or even possible. Prioritization is something that the manager should better understand than the direct report, as the manager should better understand how the work fits into the overall picture. “I’d like you to be making 60 sales calls a week by the end of this month,” is a good approach.
Steven Rothberg, Founder and Chief Visionary Officer, College Recruiter
Apply ‘Theory of Mind’ in Feedback
One mistake leaders often make when delivering feedback is failing to apply Theory of Mind—the capacity to discern and interpret others’ mental states, including beliefs, intentions, emotions, and desires. ToM helps leaders anticipate how recipients will interpret feedback and their emotional responses, influencing whether they actually “receive” it or reject it.
Most of us have likely been in a situation where our supervisor gave feedback that felt one-sided, cold, and devoid of any indication that they took even a moment to consider our perspectives. When this happens, we typically question the legitimacy of the communication. Leaders and those entrusted in their care co-construct meanings during feedback conversations. These conversations should be co-constructed dialogues, not one-way communications that violate relational trust. Applying ToM is critical to maintaining positive relationships and momentum toward goal achievement.
I recommend that leaders conduct a “Mental Model Check” before engaging in feedback discussions. They should pause and ask themselves:
“What is the goal of my feedback?”
“What, specifically, am I hoping to achieve through this conversation?”
“How will this serve the person?”
“What might be influencing this person’s current capacity to receive feedback (e.g., stress levels, recent events, workload)?”
After establishing their intentions and how the feedback will support the person receiving it, leaders should further reflect:
“What is this person probably feeling and thinking about [insert the feedback topic]?”
“What do I know about how they take in and process information?”
“What do they need from me to trust that I intend to help them?”
“What must I do to adapt my communication to their preferences?”
After considering these aspects, leaders should open the conversation with an invitation to dialogue that frames the person as an equal participant. They might try something like, “Help me see your perspective on [situation]. I want to gain a better understanding of your point of view. What did you have in mind when [specific incident] happened?”
Thinking through these kinds of questions stretches one’s empathy and forces leaders to imagine the other person’s thoughts and emotions before presenting their own view. This approach can go a long way in preventing misunderstandings and strengthening trust in working relationships.
Sandra Buatti-Ramos, Founder, Hyphen Innovation
Avoid Humor When Delivering Feedback
Even though it is well-intentioned, trying to ease tension or make the conversation less awkward usually backfires. When feedback is wrapped in jokes, employees often leave the conversation uncertain about whether the concerns raised were genuine or just casual banter. This ambiguity can lead them to question if their work or mistakes are being taken seriously, ultimately eroding trust. In some instances, what the leader intends as lighthearted can actually come across as dismissive or demeaning.
A more effective approach is straightforward, respectful communication. I recommend focusing feedback on specific behaviors and their outcomes, completely avoiding jokes or sarcasm. Rather than saying with a chuckle, “Well, that report was a bit of a disaster,” try: “The report contained several errors that created confusion for the client. Let’s discuss how to prevent this in the future.” This delivers feedback that is constructive, actionable, and clearly communicates the seriousness of the matter. In my experience, employees consistently respond better to honest, respectful feedback than to humor that obscures the essential message.
Dimi Baitanciuc, Co-Founder & CEO, Brizy.io
Request Specific Feedback for Improvement
“Grow through feedback” is one of our company values, and we truly stand by it! We rely on feedback to build trust, hold each other accountable, and improve our work. We also encourage all teammates (especially managers and leaders) to develop a habit of regularly giving and asking for specific 360-degree feedback, both strengths (glows) and areas for improvement (grows).
One common mistake I’ve seen leaders make is not being specific enough in their feedback requests. It’s challenging to provide meaningful input when the request is too broad: “Do you have any feedback about my work in the last quarter?” or, “Here’s a document; let me know what you think.” It’s much easier to respond to a focused prompt. For example: “From your perspective, what went well and what could have been improved about my planning and execution of our GTM Hackathon?” Or: “Do you think the questions I highlighted in yellow will drive a healthy debate between RevOps and Data on ownership?” Specificity makes the feedback process far more productive.
The practical tip: be specific, consistent, and timely. Feedback doesn’t have to be lengthy or intense. Simply acknowledge the behavior and its impact, then follow up with a question or request. These quick moments of feedback, given regularly, build trust and foster a culture of continuous improvement. Over time, both leaders and their teams grow stronger because feedback becomes not a rare event, but a normal part of how you work together.
Julianna Kobs, Executive Business Partner, Zapier
Tailor Feedback to Project Stage
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen leaders make is giving feedback that isn’t appropriate to the stage of the project. Feedback during the brainstorming phase should look very different from feedback given on a project that is mid-stage or near completion. To be constructive, leaders need to understand the timelines their team members are working under. A team member might be juggling multiple deadlines, coordinating efforts with others, or navigating variables outside their control.
For example, feedback suggesting a major overhaul should take into account the time and opportunity cost involved, particularly if the person is accountable to other stakeholders. On the other hand, feedback that is overly narrow or prescriptive when a project still needs big-picture direction can be just as unhelpful. Surface-level details may be the first things to stand out, but effective leaders know how to prioritize feedback that drives progress at the right stage. Effective feedback should be calibrated to the project’s context and framed as clear, specific, and actionable next steps.
Luke Marsh, CMO, Innago
It is okay to want to be kind and have your coworkers’ backs. However, when we ask for feedback, we are not asking for it as a form of punishment. We want to know areas that need our attention, training, or improvement to enhance our services and team spirit.
Jacky Fischer, CEO, 3 Men Movers