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For the first few years of her daughter's life, Lilian Schmidt remembers bedtime as a daily battle. She and her fiancé spent about three hours every night trying to create a calm environment before bed, leading to power struggles and tears. Then, Schmidt got some parenting advice from an unlikely source: ChatGPT. It suggested the opposite: letting her daughter jump around and exert energy before bed. The first night Schmidt tried it, she said her daughter fell asleep in five minutes. Since then, she started using ChatGPT to help with everything from organizing to-do lists to tweaking meal-prep recipes. "I'm definitely feeling so much calmer," Schmidt, 33, told Business Insider. "My brain has finally stopped running." Schmidt, who makes TikToks about using ChatGPT prompts and sells a "vault" of pre-made ones for other parents to use, said she uses her spare time to exercise, read, or just enjoy moments with her daughter and stepson without worrying about parenting logistics. Schmidt isn't alone. Parents have been using AI tools for everything, from homework help to activity ideas. "Parents are being pulled in a lot of different directions with sometimes 10, 15 emails from the school per day, job stressors, just keeping those different tasks organized, " Lorain Moorehead, a licensed therapist and Arizona State University professor, told Business Insider. She said she's seen more parents use AI tools as a "great support" for tasks like maintaining schedules for their kids. As more parents use AI for help, it can be a handy tool — when used correctly. The tightrope of working and parenting For many parents, balancing childcare with a full-time job feels untenable. They also don't feel like they have any other choice. Schmidt and her family live in Zurich, the 5th most expensive city in the world. In addition to a very high cost of living, daycare for her 4-year-old daughter is about 30,000 Swiss francs a year — over $37,000. Related stories Business Insider tells the innovative stories you want to know Business Insider tells the innovative stories you want to know "Almost everyone I know works," Schmidt said, while moms also feel pressure to be more present at home. "It's like 'You need to work, but actually, it would also be really nice if you stayed home.'" This lifestyle brings up logistical challenges. Like many parents in the US, Schmidt and her partner live hours away from both sets of grandparents. Outside of daycare and school, they are solely responsible for their daughter and Schmidt's 14-year-old stepson. Moorehead, who said a lot of her clients use AI tools for co-parenting, said a common prompt is asking for scheduling help. One example is: "Create a sample schedule for a child who has 30-45 minutes of homework, is home at 3:30 pm, and is in bed at 8 pm. Bath time takes 20 minutes, and they need to rinse the dishes after dinner." She recommends the prompt to parents because "as soon as they've executed it, there might be a change in the schedule." Schmidt said that ChatGPT is especially helpful for families like hers, where her kids have a huge age gap and require completely different schedules and care. "They're in different universes, basically," she said. Tools like ChatGPT can quickly tweak the schedule to accommodate baseball practice starting later, rather than a frustrated parent doing it on their own — and burning out in the process. An on-demand parenting coach Moorehead said she generally recommends prompts like these that "are clear, stick to the facts, and don't use phrases like 'what do you think?'" or seek reassurance. The best use is to look at examples and options when you're stuck as a parent. "As a busy mom, I find meal planning to often be a mental drain, especially when trying to cater to selective eater," Ijeoma Nwaogu, a mother of three, wrote in an essay for Business Insider. An example of a prompt she uses is "I have picky eaters that don't like spicy foods. Meal needs to be delicious for kids. I have chicken, rice, seasoning, oil. Create a recipe." For example, Schmidt said she uses ChatGPT for to-do lists or meal-planning — running an inventory of everything she has at home, to generate lists of cheaper ingredient swaps or factor in discounts from a nearby grocery store, and to tweak existing recipes to accommodate every family member's dietary preferences. Moorehead said these kinds of prompts are generally OK. She advised against asking ChatGPT to weigh in on a parenting scenario, because AI tools are likely to be very biased. She also recommended looking into AI platforms like Perplexity, which are known for citing their sources. Of course, AI is not a substitute for a real-life pediatrician or mental health professional. "De-identifying the kid or the school seems like a good safety practice, just as we're learning more about these models," Moorehead said, adding that a good rule of thumb is never to include information that would make your child trackable if it appeared on another platform. Freed up for more quality time Prior to using ChatGPT, Nwaogu felt like she was being a good-enough mother. "I found myself trapped in a cycle of questioning whether I was doing things right, whether I was doing enough," she said. Schmidt felt she couldn't give her kids as much attention as she wanted to. "I'm the kind of mom who wants to make their childhood feel magical, and that they remember me in a very positive way," she said. "But for the first three and a half years, I was stuck in survival mode." Schmidt felt that instead of spending time with her daughter, her priority was managing the household and her job. She said she often gets similar feedback from other parents, most of whom have very young children. "I hear 'I'm trying to be a good wife, I'm giving it my all, and I still feel like a complete failure,'" Schmidt said. She feels like parents just don't have enough support, and that AI isn't just a productivity tool: it's a permission slip to do less, so that parents can focus on fully showing up for their kids. Moorehead said that when parents are trying a routine or parenting technique, it often takes a few tries and reconfigurations to get into the groove. But they might give up quickly when it doesn't work out. AI can be great for making real-time adjustments or offering quick alternatives. "If we can eliminate some of that fatigue with AI, then that can have a really positive outcome," Moorehead said. Schmidt said days with her kids feel more special, now that she's not simultaneously thinking of her to-do lists. She recently took her daughter horseback riding, with Schmidt holding the horse. Before bedtime, she asked ChatGPT to write an age-appropriate story in the voice of a published author, recounting the day. It included her daughter's first name and the emotions she felt, like pride or courage. "When you're old and your kids are all grown up, what will they remember you for?" Schmidt said. "Probably not for writing the perfect grocery list. They will remember you if you were present with them."
