Raising children can be especially hard when you feel overwhelmed. Becky Kennedy knows that from experience.
Kennedy, a Columbia University-trained child psychologist and host of the parenting podcast “Good Inside,” is a mom of three children herself. Whenever she feels stressed, she reminds herself to focus on just two parenting goals: quickly “repair” any conflict she has with her children and give herself a small mental break each day, she said at the Fast Company Innovation Festival 2025 on Thursday.
Her first goal, repairing — or apologizing to your kid after you’ve lost your temper — “is the most important parent strategy there is,” said Kennedy. If you yell at your child after they’ve done something wrong, follow up with them once tensions have cooled to remind them that yelling isn’t OK and you’re working on improving yourself, too, she advised.
DON’T MISS: The ultimate guide to starting a business—everything you need to know to be your own boss
It’s understandable for parents to occasionally lose their tempers with their kids, Kennedy said on a December 2024 podcast episode of “The Tim Ferriss Show.” The unaddressed outbursts are the interactions that can have harmful long-term effects on your relationships with your children, she said — since kids can accidentally internalize a single moment of conflict as something more foundationally important.
Repairing doesn’t mean saying, “I yelled at you because you were being difficult about putting your shoes on when we were running late.” Instead, a successful parent “acknowledges what they’ve done, takes accountability and communicates with your kid to reconnect,” Kennedy said on Thursday. Setting that example can help teach your kids how to “repair naturally with everyone in their lives.”
As for Kennedy’s second goal, schedule a minimum of 10 minutes on your calendar each day to breathe deeply or do something small that’ll help you feel organized, she recommended. You could also spend that time thinking about parenting tactics, whether it’s reading a book online or listening to a podcast, she said.
Blocking off as little as 10 minutes per day “to simply sit and breathe” can help “ease the brain into a state of relaxation,” neuroscientist Joseph Jebelli wrote for CNBC Make It on July 23. The practice can help you process your emotions and thoughts, and think more clearly afterwards, he added.
Stressed people tend to be more reactive than proactive, and giving yourself a small break from your hectic day-to-day can make you feel more prepared and less overwhelmed, said Kennedy. It can help you stay calm when your child gets upset, shave a couple minutes off any potential power struggle and make you less likely to anxiously dwell on what you could’ve done better, she added.
“The parent we want to be … is a parent who is learning, who is investing and who knows you’re going to be completely imperfect,” Kennedy said.
Want to be your own boss? Sign up for Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course, How To Start A Business: For First-Time Founders. Find step-by-step guidance for launching your first business, from testing your idea to growing your revenue. Sign up today with coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off the regular course price of $127 (plus tax). Offer valid September 16 through September 30, 2025.