Hoda Kotb has always admired people who have made extraordinary jumps in life. In recent years she’s taken her own leaps of faith — both personally and professionally.
Now, she wants to help you take a leap of your own.
Just read the dedication of her new book, “Jump and Find Joy: Embracing Change in Every Season of Life,” and you’ll get the idea: “This book is dedicated to you, my darling. Curious, hopeful, determined, you.”
During a sit-down interview with TODAY.com, Hoda elaborates further on her book’s beginning. “That’s to the reader, because that’s how I feel,” she says. “As you pick up the book, that’s why you’re getting it. I think everyone needs a dedication, too, and it’s for the reader.”
“Jump and Find Joy” is filled with motivational quotes and stories from people who have left lasting impressions on Hoda over the years. This includes the deep conversations she has had with guests on “Making Space” since she began hosting the podcast in 2021.
“It is true, I have talked to tons of people,” Hoda says, adding that she highlighted those who are “top of mind” and “the most impactful” to her.
“And also people who jumped in different areas, like in relationships and personal stuff,” she says, citing “incredible” writer and “Making Space” guest Anne Lamott, who found love later in life.
“I’m just looking for people who took risks, people I admire and love, and I put them in,” she says.
Some of those other individuals include country singer Thomas Rhett, motivational speaker Mel Robbins and actor Viola Davis.
In between the stories of others, Hoda infuses some of her own. She recalls her hardworking parents’ move to America, her transition from local news to Dateline, her marriage and divorce in the 2000s, and the end of her romantic relationship with former fiancé Joel Schiffman.
“I think what happens as you get older is you just don’t care,” Hoda says lightheartedly about her decision to share some of her life’s more personal details in the book, which she co-authored with longtime collaborator Jane Lorenzini.
“When I was talking, I was like, ‘I think what’s real is real, and that’s life.’ And so, you just kind of go forward with it, and let it be what it is,” Hoda explains. “I just decided, you know, it’s all of me. That’s kind of the point of life. You have the dark places and the bright, shiny places.”
The 1 Lesson Hoda Wants Readers to Take Away From Her New Book
In a book filled with so many inspirational stories, Hoda hopes the takeaway for readers is simple: “Taking the jump is always worth it — because if it’s right, home run. You jumped into a new job … a relationship. If it’s not right for some reason, then what you’ve done is you’ve taken something off the list that’s occupying space in your head.”
She cites an example of someone who dreamed of always being a florist trying it, and not liking it.
“At least you’re not going to be 85 going, ‘What would’ve happened if I just opened that flower shop?’ Well, it wasn’t for you. So, I think the idea is give it a go. You’re very resilient.”
Hoda says sometimes people “jump into” where they already are — “just deeper into it.”
“I hope people realize: Try it. Try it, and see what happens,” she says.
Jumping Out of Her Relationship
TODAY viewers and fans of Hoda will remember her relationship with Joel Schiffman — from the early days of their courtship and eventually adopting two beautiful girls, to closing that chapter of a romance by ending their engagement in 2022 after nearly a decade together.
In “Jump and Find Joy,” Hoda offers a bit of insight into the decision to transition their relationship from couple to friendship.
Hoda shares in the book that after she attended the Hoffman Institute — a one-week retreat that aims to help those feeling stuck through “transformational work,” according to its website — she felt “everything had shifted,” including her relationship. “Our ‘us’ felt different,” she wrote.
“I think we’ve always been connected and will always be connected for many reasons,” Hoda tells TODAY.com, adding that Joel was just over at her home with their daughters, Haley and Hope.
“We will co-parent in a beautiful way, but I also think our ‘us’ is more of a, like, we’re dear friends now. And that’s beautiful, and it’s enjoyable and it feels right. We were laughing the other day just in hysterics, and I feel like this is the right relationship for us to have.”
Hoda’s Best Advice on Co-Parenting — And How She and Joel Do It
For anyone who may be in a similar situation co-parenting, Hoda says, “You just have to be honest about it.”
“Kids catch pretending. They know that Joel and I care so much for each other, and they also know that we love them dearly,” Hoda says of Haley, 8, and Hope, 6. “And I think it’s about carving out time. It’s not his time, my time. It’s our time. That’s how we do it.”
A typical weekend day with Joel includes “all kinds of things,” according to Hoda.
“We’ll do a barbecue. He’ll give the girls a kiss. He says, ‘See you in the morning.’ He’ll come back in the morning. … I think they understand your vibe. I really adore Joel, and they know it. I’m not pretending, I’m not faking it. So, once they see that, they go, ‘Ah, OK. This is good. This is good for us.’”
Hoda’s Evolution in Her Relationships
Hoda’s been embracing authenticity in her relationships for the past few years, which is another jump she made thanks to her time at the Hoffman Institute.
In the book, she remembers having to stand in front of other participants as well as leaders of the Hoffman Process and, like the others, share why she was there.
“I knew I could say that I wanted to better myself or something vague like that,” she wrote. “But when I looked around at all the people who’d shared their raw truth, I felt so moved by their honesty. They deserved the same from me. So, I said it. I told the truth about why I had come.”
“‘I am a total phony in my relationships,’ I said. ‘I’m a pretender.’”
Hoda describes that moment and decision “to be real” in her book as “one of the best ten-second decisions” of her life.
When asked by TODAY.com what she meant by being a “pretender,” Hoda says, “I think sometimes you know that a relationship is — I would say good — but you think to yourself it’s not deepening. So, you continue along on the relationship, and I think the truth of the matter is sometimes you have to say to yourself, like, I feel like I’m an optimist. And so, when you’re an optimist, you want to make things work, and sometimes, things don’t.”
When it comes to her relationship with Joel, Hoda says, “I loved Joel then, and I love Joel now. I just had to remind myself that it was a different kind of love.”
She says, “You can still love and admire someone and not want to be in a relationship, a long-term relationship that way, personal relationship.”
“It just was an epiphany for me, and it took courage for me to say it. And when I did, I felt like,” Hoda explains, sighing, “‘OK, there it is.’”
Hoda Is ‘Longing for a Soul Connection’
Now, Hoda is in a waiting phase in the romance department after her recent life transitions, which include leaving her full-time job at TODAY in January. She says she’s not actively looking for a partner through dating apps or friends of friends.
“I think I’m just waiting to see what happens,” she says. “I always tell my kids, ‘Thoughts become things. So what you think about can be.’ … I’m not running around saying, ‘Set me up. Who’s the guy? What’s the app?’”
“But I do know that in this season, that’s coming — where and how, I’m not clear yet,” she says. “But I think the closer you get to who you are, the more likely you are to meet someone who you’re ready for.”
Hoda elaborates with confidence, explaining what it is she’s looking for in her next season of life.
“There’s someone meant for me out there, which I’m convinced of. I have no doubt in my mind that that exists and that person is out there.
“I’m longing for a soul connection.”
What Hoda Hopes Her Daughters Have Learned From Her Work Ethic
Hoda’s gratitude for her parents shines through in her latest book. She admired her dad, who died of a heart attack while she was in college, and her mom for “the strong work ethic they’d learned from family,” she says in her book.
“My mom and dad, Sameha and Abdel Kotb, were movers and shakers right from the start,” she wrote. “From meeting at a law firm in Cairo after college, to falling in love at my dad’s boat race along the Nile River, to getting married among the pyramids, they’ve always been people of action.”
Part of the reason Hoda left TODAY was so she could dedicate more of her “time pie” to her mom as well as Haley and Hope.
And now that she’s a parent herself, Hoda wants her girls to know that “they can live life on their terms.”
“They can study what they want, they can play what sports they want, they can have what friends they want,” Hoda says. “I feel like all of that is really important to be free to make those choices.”
She also hopes her daughters look at her and “know what hard work looks like.”
“I hope they look at me and know what leadership looks like,” Hoda, who launched her company, Joy 101, earlier this year, explains. “I hope they look at me and know you can ask for what you deserve. I don’t shrink back. … I’m also not super pushy.”
She also wants Haley and Hope “to know what confidence looks like.”
“If you have a confident kid, you’ve made it, because a confident kid won’t be taken advantage of by anybody,” Hoda says. “A confident kid knows who they are. They know what should not be happening to them. If you give your kid confidence, you’ve given them everything.
“Then they can march through life and make their choices on their terms and not feel like they have to shrink or change to fit what somebody else wants.”
The Rebirth of Hoda’s Heart and Soul After Her Last Pivot
Hoda joined the NBC family in 1998 as a correspondent for Dateline.
While she was hesitant to leave her local news job in New Orleans, she wrote that “one of the biggest factors in my decision to move on was never wanting to wonder What if? What if I never tried?”
“But I knew that if I didn’t take the opportunity — to experience a new city, a new station, new colleagues, new expectations and challenges — I would regret it. It was time to go because it was time to grow.”
Her responsibilities evolved over the years to include the news desk, co-hosting the fourth hour of TODAY and eventually co-anchoring the first two hours of the TODAY broadcast with Savannah Guthrie. After decades of the hard-news hustle and morning show grind, Hoda announced in September 2024 she would be leaving TODAY.
She has since settled into a new routine, leaving NYC for the suburbs, where she moved last year with her daughters. Part of her present day-to-day includes overseeing Joy 101 and still occasionally contributing stories to TODAY.
Hoda wrote in her book that she has always been inspired by “people who’ve managed to pivot in ways that result in a meaningful rebirth of their heart and soul.”
Now, she’s settling into being one of those people. So, what does her heart and soul rebirth look like after her last pivot?
“It’s felt amazing,” Hoda says. “It’s been equal parts exhilarating and scary when you repot, or when you have a rebirth, or when you try something brand new. It’s like being the new kid in school, and that’s what I’m doing.”
She also references her time as the new kid at Dateline “not knowing what I was doing” and “trying to anchor on weekends and hyperventilating on the set.”
“Trying, trying, trying,” she continues. “Being a beginner is exciting for me, and I feel like that’s what’s happening to me right now. I’m a beginner again.”
She compares discovering personal growth in new areas to a “strong, older tree” with “bright-green sprouts popping out.”
“I’m getting deeper into motherhood, I’m getting deeper into being an entrepreneur, I’m getting just deeper into understanding time and how it can be slow if you work your day right,” she says.
“I feel like I’m learning a lot.”