By Eshita Bhargava

Copyright timesnownews

Last Saturday, my book club and I squeezed into a tiny, buzzy café in South Delhi. Think warm fairy lights, mismatched chairs, and the comforting smell of butter-laden garlic naan drifting in from the kitchen. We ordered everything: masala fries “for the table,” a mezze platter we swore we’d share evenly, a round of mocktails, and then more food we absolutely didn’t need. It was bliss—until the bill arrived. What followed could have been a scene from a Priyadarshan comedy. Nine women rummaging through handbags like treasure hunters, arguing over who only had “just one paneer tikka” and who drank “only water, okay?” One friend whipped out her calculator app like she was balancing the Union Budget. Our server smiled politely, but I recognised that look—it was the grin of someone silently chanting, “I must not cry, I must not quit, I must not open a bakery instead.” The Split That Drives Servers Mad Splitting the bill is normal, expected even. But there’s one particular style of splitting that makes restaurant staff want to throw in their napkins: The item-by-item autopsy. Instead of saying, “We’re nine people, divide equally,” guests insist, “I had one dosa, three fries, half of a cheese naan and none of the chutney.” “It’s the worst,” sighs an anonymous waiter at a Mumbai gastropub. “I once had a group who wanted me to split a sizzler between four bills—two of them had eaten only the veggies and the other two wanted to pay only for the chicken. I felt like I was back in my math tuitions.” Another server at a Bangalore café told me, “Even with those handheld card machines, it slows everything down. We’re not accountants. Every minute spent itemising your table’s snacks is a minute someone else is waiting for water or their cheque.” Why This Hurts More Than You Think Sure, you’re the customer, but servers work on tips, time, and table turnover. A complicated bill split can mean: More errors – When a bill is broken into micro-portions, mistakes creep in. Guess who gets blamed? Not you. Slower service for everyone – Other tables suffer while your server is decoding who ate which bite of biryani. Smaller tips – This is the silent sting. “We get stiffed on split checks more than anything else,” admits a Delhi waiter who’s been in hospitality for six years. “Someone always forgets the tip. Or they think the other person included it.” In busy Indian restaurants—especially on weekends—this can turn a smooth shift into chaos. “On Valentine’s Day, a couple once asked me to split the bill down to the last spoon of gulab jamun because one of them was on a diet,” laughs a Pune bistro manager. “I thought they were joking. They weren’t.” When Splitting Is Okay Not all splits are equal. A couple of cards for an even divide? Totally fine. Small groups? Manageable. But large parties trying to slice the bill like a wedding cake? Welcome to Awkwardville. “It’s about complexity, not generosity,” explains etiquette consultant Sunaina Mehra. “The more people and the more conditions, the more chaos.” This holds true whether you’re in a tandoori joint in Old Delhi or a fine-dining hotel in Goa. A Better Way to Do It Technology has actually made this simple—you just have to use it smartly. “One person pays the full bill, and the rest reimburse digitally through UPI apps like Google Pay or Paytm,” suggests Mehra. “It’s instant and avoids putting the server through mental gymnastics.” Or go old-school desi: One friend picks up the bill this time, the other takes it next time. It’s classy, generous and makes you look like the kind of person your parents raised you to be. If you absolutely must split at the table, tell the restaurant upfront before you order. Most places will gladly print separate checks per person if they know from the start. What they dread is the surprise complex split at 10:30 pm when the kitchen is closing. Sharing food is one of India’s greatest joys—from thalis to biryani to roadside chaat. But the magic of eating together vanishes when dessert turns into a spreadsheet. Servers aren’t your personal CAs, and no friendship should end over a ₹60 side of fries. So, next time you’re out with friends, keep it simple. Pay it forward, split it evenly, and use your phone to sort the rest later. Your server (and your own sanity) will thank you.