Having a boyfriend is now seen as 'uncool' according to social media debate
Having a boyfriend is now seen as 'uncool' according to social media debate
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Having a boyfriend is now seen as 'uncool' according to social media debate

Niamh Kirk 🕒︎ 2025-10-31

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Having a boyfriend is now seen as 'uncool' according to social media debate

Social media has been popping off with debate about whether having a boyfriend is decidedly uncool. Women are in limbo; they are wanting a boyfriend and to show them off, but in a bid to avoid looking obsessed, are then making it look like it's embarrassing to have one. There's a cultural shift in women eradicating partners from social media, as increasingly women want to come across as 'fun and free' even if they are locked into a romantic relationship. With so much talk around whether having a boyfriend is now seen as 'lame' or not, a rising number of women are realising they are all suffering from 'heteropessimism' and it's affecting the dating world . It's no secret many singletons are feeling fatigued by the idea of dating or looking for a relationship , but a new cultural wave sweeping socials right now is that people are saying having a boyfriend is now seen as 'embarrassing'. According to Lovehoney’s relationship expert , Annabelle Knight, heteropessimism, in short, is "the feeling that dating between two straight people is hopeless. Heteropessimism or heterofatalism can be misconceived as rebellion, when really I believe it’s a sentiment of resignation from heterosexual dating." But with so many people now hiding their relationships online - it poses the question, are we actually embarrassed to post our partners or are we just worried about what others will think? There are two sides to the coin. On one side, people are fully hard-launching their romantic partners, while some are soft-launching with posting a photograph of only a hand on a drink or the back of their head. While the other side, people are purposely cutting out their partner's faces, blurring them or conveniently cropped out of the shot - basically erasing them from their social media feed in order to feel 'fun' and 'relatable'. For more stories like this subscribe to our weekly newsletter, The Weekly Gulp , for a curated roundup of trending stories, poignant interviews, and viral lifestyle picks from The Mirror's Audience U35 team delivered straight to your inbox. Many people argue that if you are following someone and all of a sudden their whole social media feed changes, to include more 'boyfriend-y' content, it can be insufferable, resulting in the boyfriend-haver being muted or unfollowed. When author and Vogue contributor Stephanie Yeboah hard-launched her boyfriend on social media, she lost hundreds of followers. “Even if we were still together, I wouldn’t post them here. There is something cringey and embarrassing about constantly posting your partner these days,” she told Glamour. She added that, “there is part of me that would also feel guilty for sharing my partner constantly – especially when we know the dating landscape is really shit at the moment. I wouldn’t want to be boastful.” Similarly, content creator Sophie Milner said she noticed a huge unfollowing after posting her boyfriend. She said: "This summer, a boy took me to Sicily. I posted about it on my subscribers section, and people replied saying things like ‘please don’t get a boyfriend!’ "Being single gives you this ultimate freedom to say and do what you want. It is absolutely not every woman, but I do notice that we can become more beige and watered-down online when in a relationship – myself included.” Help us improve our content by completing the survey below. We'd love to hear from you!

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