Copyright Us Weekly
The Golden Bachelor season 1 star Gerry Turner had a lot to say about his ex-wife Theresa Nist in his new book. Golden Years: What I’ve Learned from Love, Loss, and Reality TV finally dropped on Tuesday, November 4, nearly a month after the 74-year-old first teased the explosive memoir in his Us Weekly digital cover story. “I was filled with all these stories about what happened that never got to be seen, and feelings I had about some of the people on the show that I kept to myself,” he told Us last month. “I decided, ‘Hey, it’s time to try and tell the whole story, and not just the portions that are good to the general public.’ But as I got into the process, I realized I also wanted to fall back to the goals we had on the show — to keep yourself open to opportunities, enjoy life, don’t walk by anything that may be good for you just because you’ve gotten older.” Bachelor Nation watched Gerry and Theresa get engaged in fall 2023 and exchange vows in a live wedding ceremony in January 2024. They called it quits after just three months of marriage. In the book, Gerry makes several claims about their relationship, including that he felt “trapped” by the decision to wed. He also alleges she broke their pact not to speak about the split. “The question was constantly, ‘Why are they getting divorced so quickly?’ And I was, I believe, made out to be a villain,” Gerry told Us. Theresa, who previously stated that she was not given a heads-up from Gerry about any of the content in the book, released a statement to Us at the time: “It makes me very sad to think that he felt empty and trapped. I wish he had said something and just ended it. But at least now I understand why he was so hurtful to me so many times. And I will say this. Those in glass houses should not throw stones. I do wish him all the best.” Golden Years is out now. Scroll through for the biggest takeaways about Gerry and Theresa’s relationship: Initial Connection to Theresa In the book, Gerry was initially complimentary of Theresa, calling their first kiss “historic” and comparing her ability to ease his first date nerves to his relationship with Toni. The twosome also bonded over the losses of their respective spouses. “The joy and mutual affection of finding someone who fit so well was overwhelming,” he recalled of their first one-on-one date. Kathy and Theresa’s Feud During the season, Theresa butted heads with some of the women, including future fan favorite Kathy Swarts, over how confident she was in her connection with Gerry. “At the time, I thought of her as innocently trying to be a good companion, manipulated by the others to overshare. Naturally talkative, she can really put words together!” he wrote of Theresa. “Turns out, I was the easiest one to manipulate.” Gerry concluded that Theresa was “unable to read the room” and was “rubbing” it in with her “counterproductive” apologies. Retroactive Red Flags at Theresa’s Hometown “Something about her answers felt rehearsed,” he wrote of conversations with Theresa during her hometown dates episode. “Her delivery was slow and deliberate. There’s nothing wrong with thinking before you speak, but with Theresa it was as if she were running through a list of words until she hit on the one who thought would appeal to me.” Regrets About Leslie and Faith Gerry struggled with how he hurt the other women on the show, especially runners-up Faith Martin and Leslie Fhima. He reflected on being caught up in the moment when he said “I love you” to Faith — not long before he sent her home. “Was this genuine love? If that was true, I didn’t want to file it away. On the other hand, if this was simply a visceral reaction to the warmth of Faith’s obviously loving family and the momentum of the show, I needed to figure that out — and quick. I was so confused,” he wrote. “The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted ice cream. I love Dairy Queen … sadly, even my favorite Blizzard did nothing to help me sort out my bewilderment.” Gerry noted he has “several regrets” from his time as the Golden Bachelor, but judging Leslie for her past marriages and financial situation after conversations during their overnight date still haunted him at the time of writing the book. “I still have gut-wrenching pain when I think about the way I hurt her,” he wrote. The Proposal “Standing on the platform set up for the proposal, I felt empty,” Gerry wrote of proposing to Theresa just moments after ending things with Leslie. “I had already made the decision that I was going to propose to Theresa, so the feeling wasn’t my resolution. Rather there was no happiness in the moment.” While he chalked up his “dark mood” to “lack of sleep” and empathy for Leslie at the time, Gerry also admitted in the book that he doesn’t know if Theresa “won by default.” Post-Show Struggles As the show was airing, Gerry and Theresa couldn’t see each other without the show scheduling private meet-ups, which is standard for all Bachelor couples to avoid spoilers. They were able to talk on the phone, but that didn’t help their relationship grow. “Theresa came off almost mechanical on the phone as we went through our nightly script of generic, mundane questions you and your spouse would dispense with in five minutes,” he wrote. Gerry learned things about Theresa’s lifestyle that concerned him about their compatibility, including her disdain for cooking and “strict no-sugar diet.” “Outside of the kitchen, everything was puppy dogs and roses between Theresa and me. We were into each other like crazy,” he wrote before things took another turn for the worse. “Then Theresa began to talk about how she didn’t want to leave her job.” While Gerry claimed that Theresa agreed to quit her job in roughly six months, she was wishy-washy about whether she would actually leave New Jersey or retire. While Gerry wrote that he respected her for wanting to be more financially stable for retirement, he claimed she misled him. “I was a little resentful because her economic situation wasn’t at all what she had described on the show, leaving me to wonder what else I had misunderstood, or she had misrepresented,” he wrote. “We were going over well-worn territory — her working/not working, where and when we could move — when she made a comment that really unnerved me. ‘If you pay all my expenses,’ she said, ‘I would quit right now.’ I was totally taken aback.” The Wedding Planning While things improved between the then-couple after the show aired and they could get together in public, Gerry saw new red flags as they dove into wedding planning. “I was getting worried that Theresa was more interested in the trappings of getting married than in whom she was marrying or what her married life was going to be like!” he wrote. Gerry also claimed Theresa was hesitant to sign a prenup as they continue to struggle with where to live — and the kind of house they could afford. While Gerry said that their budget was 1.5 million, he alleged that Theresa wanted a 4.5-5 million home. The Night Before The wedding Gerry admitted in the book that he poured his heart out to ex-contestant Faith the night before his January 2024 wedding to Theresa. “‘Going through with this wedding is the wrong thing to do,’ I said. ‘I wish I wasn’t where I am, but I have no way out. I’m completely trapped,’” he wrote. Faith allegedly replied, “What the hell are you doing? If you know in your heart this isn’t right, why are you going forward with it? That isn’t you.” Gerry wrote that he was paranoid about wedding guests who were in town for the televised event seeing the conversation between him and Faith. “I could see the puzzled looks from several of the other golden women. I caught a concerned glance from my daughter Jenny,” he wrote. “Nothing could have been further from the truth. While she was questioning me, Faith was also comforting me. Her eyes said that her heart was with me. Friend, confidant, and perfect sister all rolled into one, she repeated, ‘Gerry, you do not have to do this.’ I wish I had listened to her wise and sincere advice, but my need to please everyone, engrained in me from childhood, was too strong to release its destructive grip.” Gerry ultimately felt like he could not let down Theresa, their families, the cast who had traveled and everyone at ABC who worked hard to put on the nuptials so he wed through with the ceremony. “I wouldn’t blame anyone who accused me of being a phony when I exchanged vows with Theresa on January 4, 2024,” he wrote. “But I can say that despite my fear that we weren’t ready for marriage, I still committed to the sacred institution with all my heart. “ Gerry and Theresa Only Saw Each Other a Handful of Times After the Wedding Two days after saying “I do,” Theresa flew back to New Jersey and Gerry went home to Indiana. He drove to see her for the first time on January 11, 2024. The aforementioned lifestyle issues resurfaced, with new signs of their differences including Theresa using her flat stovetop as a makeup counter for good lighting since she didn’t cook much. The duo also got into a fight over Gerry driving five miles over the speed limit and his clothing choices. The first night of his visit, she allegedly asked him to sleep on the couch because she had a “big day.” He remained on the couch for the trip. “At the resort, her behavior regarding intimacy was comfortable, even forward,” he wrote. “When we returned to the states, she ignored opportunities for intimacy.” Gerry left a day early and the pair didn’t see each other until she visited Indiana nearly two months later. While the duo got off to a good start — even sharing a bed — Theresa struggled with bonding with Gerry’s friends, according to him. Their final fight was over a comment Theresa made about Indiana, something that was previously hinted at by former Bachelor Ben Higgins. “Theresa looked around at the countryside and said with a shudder, ‘There is just no way I could live here. It is so isolated.’ I drove Theresa to the airport for her flight home, and it was one of the most uncomfortable car rides of my adult life,” Gerry wrote. “She’d suggested that it should be developed with condos, shopping malls, and industrial parks. ‘It just seems like such a waste of all this space,’ she said. I was flabbergasted at the notion that anyone would want to destroy such nourishing beauty.” A few weeks later at Joey Graziadei’s After the Final Rose on March 25, 2024, they agreed it was over. “We communicated clearly about our individual doubts and agreed we had acted in haste in getting married,” he wrote. “Sitting about six feet from Theresa on a stone bench, I turned to her and asked, ‘So is it time to just call it quits?’ ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘It probably is.’” Post-Divorce Questions Gerry recalled “a lingering list of questions” about Theresa’s stint on The Golden Bachelor after their split. He also claimed that he learned more about how the other women on the show allegedly felt about Theresa. “While at the mansion, Theresa was reading How to Win The Bachelor, a book that promises ‘The Secret to Finding Love and Fame on America’s Favorite Reality Show.’ There was something about the image of Theresa curled up on one of the couches, planning her strategy to win a rose, that made me feel sick to my stomach,” he wrote. “It made me think that her goal was never to find the next love of her life; it was to win. Some of them were upset because they felt Theresa had cheated them out of a chance to find love too.”
