Can you believe it’s already been six months since we last gathered around to talk The Real Housewives of Potomac? The seasons have come and gone, and since our last huddle on the fate of our beloved cherry blossoms, the lady formerly known as the Grand Dame has been booked and released after spending her jail sentence for her fourth DUI, a fall from grace the likes of which we haven’t seen since Luann de Lesseps laid siege to Palm Beach. It will be a long time before Karen Huger will be able to move past the clips of her mumbling about Thomas Jefferson with her wig more turned around than Lea Michele at a spelling bee, and only time will tell how she starts to go about her redemption arc.
As we await the future of Karen’s return to our screens, however, the ladies of Potomac are equally eager to prove that they didn’t lose a step in Karen’s absence. Gizelle is openly embracing her empty-nesting life, traipsing up and down her Z-gallerie-designed house in some H&M joggers and rediscovering low-cut tops. Wendy is helping her husband expand the. “Happy Eddie” brand expanded into three states, with the Osefos finally striking gold on a profitable business venture after five or six different attempts. Ashley Darby, after seven winters, six summers, and two presidential administrations, has finally gotten divorced from the corporeal gremlin known as Michael Darby. After finally watching the season back, Kiearna realized that she was in a relationship with a grumpy stepfather, not a partner, and moved out into her own condo.
This wouldn’t be Bravo reality television, however, if it were all smooth waters. Without Karen around, the women are forced to contend with the fallout from the reunion — namely, the tenuous terms that many of the women left with Karen on and the unresolved confrontation between the bulk of the cast and newcomer Stacey Rusch.
On the heels of Karen’s sentencing, the women gather at Gizelle’s house to commiserate, and spend the whole scene dancing between concern, empathy, and absurdity. From Gizelle solemnly hoping that Karen gets placed in the “elderly section” of county jail to Ashley being unable to help herself from blurting out “Thomas Jefferson’s concubine” mid convo, any earnest moment around accountability was almost immediately undercut by the indisputably hilarious circumstances that are surrounding Karen’s predicament. While the collective can only hope that Karen’s time behind bars will be the ultimate come-to-Jesus moment, it is clear that they do not plan on sparing her from the consequences of her actions anytime soon.
Absent Karen’s presence to hold the fire, however, all eyes are laser-focused on the comings and goings of Stacey Rusch, who is raked through the coals on her reunion debut. As a quick refresher, last spring, Gizelle held Stacey’s feet to the fire, accusing her of being phony and two-faced, revealing that Stacey planned on launching her own competing cannabis brand, and faking her relationship with TJ for television (a claim that TJ himself alleged to be true via FaceTime). The cast of women do not trust whatever Stacey and her lumpy lacefront wigs are selling.
Stacey, to her credit, is throwing every misdirection possible. When Gizelle starts drilling into her about TJ, she has her cheeky retort at the ready before storming off in a huff: “Haven’t you ever been humiliated by a man?” You can almost hear the glint in her eye as it spills out of her. No matter how many inconsistencies you throw her way, Stacey is unmoved from her square. TJ not only lied, she claims, but he has also been openly remorseful and has expressed a desire to retract his statements. She has chosen to forgive him out of the goodness of her heart.
The women are hearing none of this. Ashley and Gizelle reveal that they had a run in with an actress and friend of TJ’s (my guess is Shanola Hampton from Shameless, who had also appeared on WWHL and declared her closed friendship with TJ), who claimed that TJ was in the process of suing Stacey for unrecouped funds, which of course Stacey not only denies, but claims are all imaginary people as if Ashley said she heard this from the tooth fairy. Ever the nosy detective, Ashley takes it upon herself to search Virginia’s court records to find a record of Stacey’s divorce, and comes up empty, a claim that Stacey doesn’t refute.
Now, I’m not here to say that Stacey is outright a liar — I’m of the position that all housewives are liars in one form or another, and that the scope of their lying just sits on a spectrum. However, I did receive the PR email for Stacey’s cannabis brand, possibly two months after the reunion was taped, so Stacey clearly has no problem keeping the facts close to her vest until she is forced to admit the truth. We even see that in this premiere: the whole time that she’s arguing about the legitimacy of her divorce and relationship with TJ, she is quietly reuniting with her ex-husband. I have to respect a woman who is committed to living a life made up entirely of her own delusions, whether fact or fiction; whenever the truth becomes too overwhelming for her, she simply walks out. Stacey’s dogged dedication to existing in her truth is clearly going to grate further and further on the women as the season proceeds.
We even see that start to bear fruit at Ashley’s “second bloom” event (what a second bloom even is, I cannot tell you for the life of me, but I will appreciate any excuse to make the women dress up). They’re not falling for Stacey’s pageant grin and pleasant tone; they view her as an operator and strategist and aren’t afraid to confront her about it, even when she has her friend AJ in tow for support. Keiarna and Ashley already have their imitations of her pageant demeanor down pat, and have a clear ally in Gizelle for this takedown; if Stacey can manage to fend off all of these heavy hitters in her sophomore season, we may have an all-star housewife in the making.
So far, we are off to a promising start. See you all next week!
Cherry Blossoms
• Watching Ashley struggle to waddle down the narrow staircase in her massive gown had me bowled over.
• I am genuinely not the lacefront police, but there’s no reason why I have better wig installs than Stacey. You can tell that she doesn’t braid her hair down, which is why it’s always lumpy in the back, and she’s always placing it too far behind her hairline. These are usually glam issues that women resolve for their sophomore season glow-up, so I am genuinely perplexed at what’s going on here.
• Glad to see that Keiarna’s family is just as against a reconciliation with Greg as the rest of us. Also, a brief aside, but my god, Keiarna’s mom is just stunning!
• We are briefly introduced to two newcomers to the show, Tia and Angel (as well as Angel’s fine-ass husband) — no real notes on them as of yet, but eager to see how they mix into the crew.
• It seems that the narrative being built against Wendy this season is that she is a fair-weather friend and social climber, which isn’t inconsistent with critiques of her over past seasons. While Wendy seems way more self-assured in front of the camera this season so far, I am curious to see if Keiarna will finally step up to the plate now that she seems to have a friend of her own in her corner when she raises issues. If this premiere is any indicator, Keiarna is going to have to sharpen her digs a bit so that Wendy doesn’t get to easily dismiss or minimize what clearly seems to be a passive-aggressive or condescending subtext in their dynamic.