Copyright dailyrecord
A woman whose ex-husband died by suicide after suffering with complex post-traumatic stress disorder has told how his support was pulled before he died. Alan Forcer, a former soldier, was struggling with the mental health condition when he took his own life in May 2020, aged 40, after going missing. He was being helped by a veterans' charity to cope but the support was stopped due to a lack of funding. His ex-wife, Claire Lilly, has told how her grief has been overwhelming, however, she is now channeling her pain to push for change. The mum, 48, from Canewdon, Essex , has set up the Forcer Protocol - an initiative to help support and locate missing people who have served in the armed forces as quickly as possible after they go missing. Armed forces personnel who vanish are 14 times more likely to die by suicide than other missing people. The initiative ensures police and call handlers have access to key information like medical history, known triggers and previous times they have gone missing in order to speed up the search. She told the Mirror : “Alan was hilarious, cheeky and incredibly kindhearted,” Claire says. “We met at Hyde Park Barracks in 1999 through work as I was a civil servant in the military. Two years later in 2001 we got married and had our son Josh that same year. “Before we met he served in Northern Ireland and Kosovo during the height of conflicts - It was always clear to me that things he’d seen while serving had never left him. He battled with this for the best part of 19 years and gradually became drug, alcohol and medication dependent. “He was eventually diagnosed with C-PTSD after 15 years and was in and out of trauma therapy, but the services kept being pulled from underneath him. Things came to a head during covid when his only remaining coping mechanism, the gym, was closed.” Alan had been struggling for the best part of 19 years. Claire had seen Alan at his darkest points but describes his last weeks as ‘horrific’. The day he went missing she had a sinking feeling in her stomach that he was going to do something stupid. “I called the police with serious concerns for his welfare and told them he had suicidal ideation, was drug and alcohol dependent and that he’d tried to take his own life before. I remember begging the police saying ‘you need to find him’ as I didn’t feel like they were taking it seriously enough - he was missing for three days.” Claire says that it transpired during Alan’s inquest that there were several missed opportunities to implement care. “I think about him every day and light a tealight for him and place it on my Buddha. Some days are tougher than others but Remembrance Day is hard.” Missing People 's helpline is available by calling or texting 116000.
