Copyright postandcourier
God’s Word gives us rules, guidelines and demonstrations of behaviors that will guide relationships in mutually beneficial directions. We will be truly interested in our spouse (and others) and will focus on how we can deepen the intimacy and relationship satisfaction. We will actively express thanks and focus on our spouse’s good qualities. We will share in activities that we enjoy doing together and strengthen our relationship. We will make every effort to communicate, both sharing our needs and listening to those of our spouse. We will always work toward healthy conflict resolution, expressing respect, empathy and making every effort to understand our spouse’s perspective. Without God’s Word, we make up our own rules of “engagement.” It will be necessary to put our own needs and concerns first, since we have no other criteria by which to establish our rules. They may look like this. We express disdain, sarcasm, or blame which erodes trust and intimacy, turning our spouse into a defensive “fortress.” We refuse to engage in discussions or constantly defend our self, which shuts down communication and prevents problem-solving. We make our spouse feel unseen, unimportant, or unheard, which can lead to loneliness, resentment and questions about commitment. We fail to communicate clearly, and our words don’t match our actions. We fail to invest effort in our marriage, which can lead to feelings of a lack of connection and motivation. We all have our opinions on what is right and wrong in relationships, and especially in marriage. If we are using God’s Word as our guideline, we ultimately put the other person first. If we use our own ideas of what is morally correct, we are headed to destruction.
